5 ways to optimize sex toy storage and organization!

If you don't have the freedom to display a metric fuckton of sex toys, could you say you're living life to the fullest?

Upon mov­ing into an apart­ment with my boyfriend, it's the first time in YEARS that I've had that option. The cher­ry on top is the built-​in book­shelf in the walk-​in clos­et. Naturally, I reserved it for my ample and metic­u­lous­ly arranged sex toy collection.

Update 1/​3/​2020:

My sex toy stor­age doesn't look like this any­more! You can find more recent pic­tures of my col­lec­tion on my Instagram or in my blog post about my top 10 best sex toys reviewed in 2019 and year-​end recap.

Update 4/​1/​2023:

My col­lec­tion in box­es in a stor­age unit, and yes, you can store sil­i­cone sex toys touch­ing one anoth­er in most cas­es. I only sep­a­rate the butt toys for hygiene or reeeaaaaal­ly squishy toys because they can warp easily.

Everything else in this post is about my fall 2018 col­lec­tion. Enjoy!

Why spruce up your sex toy storage?

I'm not a nat­u­ral­ly neat per­son, but I am a believ­er in the ben­e­fits of strate­gi­cal­ly sort­ing my belong­ings. It makes me horny just look­ing at my orga­nized array of dil­dos and vibrators.

When I crave a spe­cial­ly shaped or tex­tured dil­do or type of vibra­tion, all it takes is a quick glance and grab to get the right tool. And when I've fin­ished, it's easy AF to put it back into the right place.

It's not much dif­fer­ent from how you'd arrange a book­shelf. Books stand up tall to save floor/​desk/​tablespace. You can add more shelves for more books, with­out tak­ing up any more floor space. Your favorites are at eye lev­el. The col­or­ful books' exposed spines allow you to scan.

Many of these tips sound like com­mon sense, but they go a long way. Heck, you could apply these tips to prac­ti­cal­ly any­thing in your household.

1 Maximize visibility and accessibility

I'm able to see all of my toys at once. That means I'm much more like­ly to remem­ber every sin­gle one and use a vari­ety. And for a cock con­nois­seur like me, that also means sat­is­fy­ing my par­tic­u­lar crav­ings and hav­ing more fun in the long run!

In my new apart­ment, none of the dil­dos on my shelves block any of the oth­ers from my line of vision. That doesn't mean that they're per­fect­ly lined up in a row, though. I stag­gered them in a zigzag to save some space while main­tain­ing visibility.

If you're using deep draw­ers instead of shelves, you can still apply this prin­ci­ple by stand­ing your toys up like you would with pen­cils in a cup. My clit vibes stand are an exam­ple of this on a small­er scale, in a clear bin. The only clit vibes that stay out­side of the con­tain­er are my Eroscillator and Zumio, because of their unique and pow­er­ful oscillation.

In my old apart­ment, I ini­tial­ly placed most of my dil­dos in a net­work of show­er cad­dies and over-​the-​door hooks from the dol­lar store. Others, I dis­played on my book­shelf. When my sex toy col­lec­tion got way too big for that sys­tem, I laid them down in shal­low, translu­cent draw­ers into which I could eas­i­ly see.

The last image below is of the draw­ers when I tem­porar­i­ly put my sex toys in a stor­age unit rental.

2 Make vertical space your best friend

Making flat-​bottomed books and dil­dos with har­ness­able bases stand is easy enough. Insertable vibra­tors and dil­dos with­out bases need a lit­tle extra help. But only a lit­tle help.

For one, if a vibe uses sep­a­rate bat­ter­ies and isn't super top-​heavy, you can unscrew the cap and let it stand on the edge of the bat­tery com­part­ment. That's what I've done with my Fun Factory Darling Devil. The cap and bat­ter­ies are out of sight direct­ly behind it, but still very close when I need them.

A cheap magazine/​letter orga­niz­er comes in handy for ver­ti­cal stor­age, as I've demon­strat­ed with my Velvet Thruster, its attach­ments, and my Fun Factory Stronic pul­sators. Mugs also can hold a few slen­der vibes, plus one can lean up against the han­dle. And on the bot­tom shelf, I used some tall food stor­age con­tain­ers to stand more insertable vibes.

As a dis­claimer, using ver­ti­cal space is not an absolute! I wouldn't want to stand my super heavy njoy Eleven or njoy Pure Wand up, for exam­ple. The Swan Wand and Nobessence Intrigue are also clunky.

Plus, if anything's going to occu­py the most shelf space, my beau­ti­ful stain­less steel and fin­ished wood deserve it.

3 Group similar items together

The cat­e­go­riza­tion of my sex toys is very loose, but there's a method to my mad­ness, I promise! Group your sex toys how­ev­er it makes sense to you. Use what­ev­er com­bi­na­tion of brand, col­or, squishi­ness, or pow­er you please.

For starters, the dil­dos I find most inter­est­ing are in the cen­ter. The things I was most excit­ed to dis­play. Most sex toys are sol­id black, blue, pink, pur­ple, or fair flesh-​toned, so I show­cased the shim­mery pea­cock green, cop­per, gold, mar­bled blue, and so on. I arranged them in a rain­bow pat­tern because it just seemed like the nat­ur­al thing to do.

The next ele­phant in the room was the Velvet Thruster, which was too long to stand up on any shelf but the top one. And unlike most of my oth­er vibes, I think my Fun Factory toys were unique enough to deserve their own space out­side of the plas­tic containers.

My sex toy collection's other significant categories

Sex toy categories on the top shelf:

• pas­tels (includ­ing pow­er­hous­es), plus pink and pur­ple Tantus toys
• clear sil­i­cone (Luz Arte Jollet, Funkit Toys Pangolin)

Other categories on the second shelf:

• short and stout black toys (Tantus Ringo, Blush Temptasia Elvira, Vixen Randy)
• the striped sil­i­cone Avant dil­dos and plugs, arranged by height

Categories on the third shelf:

• dual-​density sil­i­cone, which often but not always comes in "real­is­tic" colors
• stain­less steel, with the njoy Eleven segue­ing into the next section
• oth­er fat (2" wide) and rigid double-​ended toys (Nob Essence Intrigue, Swan Wand)

Contents of the bottom shelf:

This shelf con­tains most­ly small things like cords, vag balls, butt plugs, clit vibes. There are also some mis­cel­la­neous inserta­bles, which are defined by what they're not.

They're what's left when you take out:

• the most excit­ing things
• the things that can stand up on their own
• the more pow­er­ful insertable vibes
• the small stuff

This elim­i­na­tion pret­ty much leaves hand­held inserta­bles in aver­age sizes, with aver­age vibra­tions, and in gener­ic col­ors. No dis­re­spect to my Blush Gaia Eco— it's an absolute steal for $10, and I do find myself reach­ing for often, but it's as bare-​bones as an insertable vibra­tor can get.

4 Everything else: put dainty objects into bigger containers

In my expe­ri­ence, a bunch of small things makes space look more visu­al­ly crowd­ed than a few big things. As well, play­ing with height gives your eyes some­thing more inter­est­ing to trace. The key is to group your small items in a con­tain­er; this tricks your brain into think­ing they're one big thing.

A jar or plat­ter of tiny dil­dos, for exam­ple, looks more uni­fied than if the tee­ny wee­nies stood by them­selves. And a jar of tee­nies with a styl­ish, bold lid looks more inter­est­ing to me than a plate of tiny dildos.

Another promi­nent exam­ple is gath­er­ing my clit stuff in a col­or­ful con­tain­er. I also tucked my oth­er­wise unsight­ly cords away in a roomy draw­er. A shal­low box from the thrift store holds my tiny pins, but­tons, and locks.

And con­doms are the only sex-​related thing I have in an opaque con­tain­er. Let's face it: I don't care about the wrap­per when I want a condom.

5 Adorn your space— add a pop of color here and there!

Closets don't have to be entire­ly prac­ti­cal! There are plen­ty of rea­son­ably afford­able ways to make the space yours, like col­or­ful con­tain­ers, bold wrap­ping papers, arti­fi­cial plant parts, or that mug in the thrift store that says "Y'all."

I even have a set of col­or­ful draw­ers that I'm now using to store props for future pho­tos. Historically, I haven't often had open and well-​lit spaces to have fun with my pic­tures in.

And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about: col­lect­ing sex toys is fun. Sex blog­ging is fun. Having a well-​organized show­room not only looks good but is fun for every­one who gets to see, includ­ing my readers.

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Heads up! I used affil­i­ate links for some of the prod­ucts men­tioned in this post. They help sup­port my blog by bring­ing me a com­mis­sion at no extra cost to you. You can also sup­port me by buy­ing me a coffee.