Zumio review: pinpoint oscillating clitoral vibrator

The Zumio is the absolute closest a clitoral toy has ever come to being an "instant orgasm" button for me.

It gives me the faith that, if I ever decide to go on anti­de­pres­sants or ADHD meds in the future, my orgasms will be safe and secure.

I'd nev­er before tried any­thing so dizzy­ing­ly pin­point­ed, so adept at tar­get­ing that spe­cif­ic point on the right side of my clit, like a laser. However, it's a mighty and par­tic­u­lar sex toy that I wouldn't rec­om­mend to the faint of the clitoris.

To its credit, the Zumio is unique

The Zumio's dain­ty SpiroTIP™ is designed to rapid­ly revolve in tiny cir­cles, rather than shift in pressure.

It isn't nec­es­sar­i­ly bet­ter or more intense than a con­ven­tion­al vibra­tor, but the inten­si­ty is all focused at one rigid point, a lit­tle nar­row­er than a pen­cil eras­er. The move­ment eas­i­ly has the high­est ener­gy den­si­ty I've ever tried in a clit toy.

Contrary to what the mar­ket­ing wants you to believe, the Zumio's 2mm range of motion feels noth­ing like a fin­ger cir­cling my clit. I can't com­pare it to fin­ger rub­bing or even the back-and-forth oscil­la­tions on the rum­bli­er Eroscillator.

But the pin­point nature of the Zumio does com­ple­ment how much I enjoy press­ing my fin­ger­nail through my cli­toral hood for pre­cise pres­sure. In oth­er words, the Zumio's move­ment is more sharply tar­get­ed than the Eroscillator, but as a result more iso­lat­ed and not near­ly as deep.

It has nev­er failed to give me a quick­ie orgasm, and often the first speed out of 8 is more than enough. On those occa­sions where I have a lot on my mind or just want to come faster, I can turn the speed up. Just as impor­tant­ly after the orgasm, I can turn the speed down. Even with my clit's increased sen­si­tiv­i­ty after com­ing, the 3‑button con­trol pan­el means I can come again and again.

Orgasms are all but forced out of my cli­toris, which I'm all for. I like the slight­ly uncom­fort­able orgasm tor­ture feel­ing where I can't stop com­ing, my breath­ing is bare­ly with­in my con­scious con­trol, and my vagi­na just wants to crush what­ev­er might be inside of it.

Update: Read how the other Zumio models compare!

• Zumio S
• Zumio E 
• Zumio I

But what about when the first setting is too pinpoint after an orgasm?

It's usu­al­ly one-and-done if I only use the tip; I'd have to wait a few min­utes before I could use the Zumio again. Switching to the stem, though, yields more gen­tle oscil­la­tion. It makes the sen­sa­tion more com­fort­able and con­ducive to mul­ti­ple orgasms.

So let me re-emphasize: the oscil­lat­ing tip is very pin­point and pow­er­ful. I absolute­ly can­not use it direct­ly on my cli­toris, so I always use it through my hood. And as some­one whose cli­toris is finicky after orgasms, the stem is essen­tial for me to get the best expe­ri­ence out of the Zumio.

Alternatively, try a Zumio S for slight­ly gen­tler stim­u­la­tion or Zumio E or Zumio I for more versatility.

Zumio's downsides: pressure, buttons, and batteries

Using the stem isn't always prac­ti­cal, how­ev­er, because the Zumio's motion is eas­i­ly damp­ened by pres­sure. For some­one with big­ger labia majo­ra, their anato­my can get in the way and reduce this sex toy's move­ment. Parting one's lips to posi­tion the stem isn't a deal break­er for every­one, but it might be for some­one who wants to pair the Zumio with an insertable toy dur­ing solo play.

And depend­ing on the thick­ness of my under­wear, the Zumio is one of the few clit toys I can't always use through my panties. There are times where the fab­ric reduces the motion too much for the toy to do much for me. It is a minor grum­ble, but one of the first things I noticed.

Other quirks include but­tons' place­ment, which is super close to the tip, and not exact­ly intu­itive. Vibrators typ­i­cal­ly have but­tons on the oth­er end, that so the user can press them with a thumb. When I hold the Zumio like a pen, press­ing the "increase" and "decrease" but­tons takes some awk­ward feel­ing around and get­ting used to.

Last but not least, the charg­ing time is 16 hours long to get up to 3.5 hours of play. It doesn't both­er me because I can charge it a lit­tle at a time or leave it overnight.

The "60-second experience"?

To be clear, a cli­toral toy mak­ing me come fast (even under a minute) is hard­ly remark­able. For me, reach­ing orgasm in less than five min­utes is the rule rather than the excep­tion. However, any­one who tests sex toys knows that orgasm speed isn't the be-all and end-all of plea­sure. Let's just dis­card that idea now.

Reaching orgasm in one to five min­utes with the Zumio is "typ­i­cal," says the instruc­tion man­u­al. That's an unnec­es­sary expec­ta­tion, espe­cial­ly when there are plen­ty of rea­sons this toy might not work super well for some­one. They might, for example:

• pre­fer vibra­tors with broad stim­u­la­tion
• find the Zumio too tar­get­ed— the Eroscillator might be a bet­ter fit
• need a sex toy whose pow­er isn't damp­ened by pressure

There's noth­ing wrong with tak­ing longer to orgasm. And there's noth­ing wrong hav­ing pref­er­ences that don't align with what the Zumio offers!

...but the Zumio experience certainly is one-of-a-kind

None of the renowned sex toys I men­tioned in the pre­vi­ous sec­tion are quite like the Zumio. That's the point (no pun intend­ed). You can't prac­ti­cal­ly com­pare a bull­doz­er to a dead blow ham­mer to a laser cut­ter, but you can choose which one (if any) suits your needs best.

As far as spe­cial­ized pow­er tools go, the Zumio's con­trols and type of pow­er suit peo­ple like me well. I care a lot about being able to turn a toy up and down. Pinpoint stim­u­la­tion works bet­ter for me than broad stim­u­la­tion, and I find that if a vibra­tor is pointy and rumbly enough, I don't need pressure.

This review comes from some­one who often uses a fin­ger­nail press­ing through her hood to mas­tur­bate. With that pref­er­ence in mind, the Zumio is about as mes­mer­iz­ing­ly focused as you can get.

Read my reviews of other Zumio models:

• Zumio S
• Zumio E
• Zumio I

A special thank-you to Spectrum Boutique!

Spectrum Boutique has sent me the Zumio in exchange for my hon­est review. They're a local (to me), gender-inclusive sex shop with a curat­ed, qual­i­ty selec­tion of body-safe products.

Thank you, Spectrum Boutique!