Best Thrusting Toys vs. Gorilla Grip Coochie: Comparison of Contraptions
This cunt consumes colossal can-sized cocks and cracks fingers. The latter ability is a hazard at times — my walls crush thrusting toys like a vise, overpower their functionality, and occasionally eject erections.
I would say to play the world’s tiniest violin for me — it's great for my pelvic floor but not for my wallet. If you, too, have a gorilla grip coochie or boa-binding bootyhole, I don’t want you wasting your money on the worst of these self-thrusting toys.
After all, a sex toy that promises mind-blowing orgasms better hold up to the physiological consequences: clenching contractions.
For practical purposes, I’ll include magnetic pulsators and other forms of back-and-forth oscillation, too. And I won’t leave you hanging — a happy ending is within reach. This list of self-propelling, self-thrusting sex toys also includes products that worked for me.
Self-Thrusting Dildos I Actually Liked
Which thrusters hold up to this gorilla grip coochie? Here are my personal favorites, all of which I have reviewed in the past. As such, I’ll link to the old posts while keeping the synopses somewhat brief.
As always, these rankings are based on my subjective tastes. Some features might matter more to you than me or vice versa — meaning that what I call B‑tier might also unlock next-level orgasms for you.
Use the table of contents below to skip sections.
- I. Self-Thrusting Dildos I Actually Liked
- II. Thrusting Toys That Stopped or Stalled When I Clenched
S‑Tier: The Best Self-Thrusting Vibrators
These compact thrusting toys are my all-around top recommendations.
Velvet Thrusters are their own tier among handheld fucking machines, often imitated but never duplicated. Cue woozy, flushed face with minimal effort.
Are you the type to text, “Remix my guts, bby,” first thing in the morning during ovulation week? Do you love having your insides rearranged? I do. And if you do, too, you'll adore the Velvet Thruster Prime Edward. Lube, mount, insert, turn on, and let your eyes glaze over for an orgasm or two or twenty-nine. It gets the job done so quickly for this pillow princess.
It’s seriously the best you can get — short of a full-on sex machine that plugs into the wall and comes with its own platform. Velvet Thrusters deliver serious power while fitting into a normal-sized purse or backpack.
They're also among the few where the thrusting mechanism alone can go deep enough to give me cervical orgasms, hence why the Prime version is by far the most used on this list.
Use code SUPER25 for 25% off sitewide at The Thruster.
Velvet Thruster Prime — the cream of the crop
Within its size class, what sets the Velvet Thruster Prime apart is that it still keeps on keeping on even when I cum and clench, and even when it’s ramming my high ceiling.
- Up to 140 thrusts per minute
- A 3” stroke length that feels like intercourse
- Lots of battery juice without much bulk
- Loud, but I'm willing to deal with that for everything else I get
- Detachable positioning aids like a suction cup for mounting while still staying compact.
- I mostly ride it cowgirl-style for maximum leverage, lowering my weight onto it.
- Several dildo attachment options, from long and lean to thiiiiickkkkk and rugged
The Velvet Thruster mini Teddy TX, XL, and GS are the “lite” versions, with:
- A shorter stroke length (2.5” vs. 3”)
- Slightly slower top speed (128 strokes per minute vs. 140)
- It will slow down more noticeably with force applied — but it will keep going.
- No customizability (the suction cup and one dildo shape are permanently fixed on the Velvet Thruster Teddy unit)
- A smaller battery (800mAh, 20 minutes of charge, 4 hours of play)
- A smaller price tag! If one mini-thruster is all you need, have at it!
And if you want a bigger dual-density thruster with a skin-like squish, you can get it as a bundle with the VixSkin Colossus or Holster extension sleeve. Or shop other extenders that might fit.
Fun Factory’s Stronics thrust themselves back and forth with a magnetic weight. The result? They’re not realistic like the Velvet Thrusters, nor are they strong enough to go deep. But they make up for the smaller force with more focus during shallow penetration.
One downside is that I orgasm stupidly quickly and frequently with it, so I have to be careful to have a pillow or something stopping my walls from ejecting the toy entirely. That’s a pretty good problem to have.
Their Stronic Surf has multiple waves along the shaft, which lock into place along my front wall and precisely stroke the same hot spots repeatedly. Likewise, its smoother sibling, the Stronic Real, jostles my internal clitoris again and again.
Since the maximum stroke length is only a half-inch, it’s not quite a fucking machine, but still more ravaging than a vibrator on the lower settings. And, as a bonus, it’s truly whisper-quiet.
Read my Stronic Surf and Stronic Real reviews for more details. These pulsators aren’t for everybody — stick to a Velvet Thruster or Power Banger if you need the full fucking machine experience — but if you’re a fan of finessing fingers that just won’t quit, the Stronics might be more your jam.
Use code SUPERSMASHCACHE for 10% off if you get one from Peepshow Toys.
A‑Tier: Fantastic Fuckables, With Some Caveats
These toys aren't perfect, but still fuck with force.
I grouped the Cadenza and Naked Addiction thrusters due to their movement quality — their small, speedy strokes are choppier and punchier than the vibes I mentioned above. I’d sum them up as “crack-like” compared to the Velvet Thrusters’ or Fun Factory Stronics’ smooth moves.
FemmeFunn’s Cadenza will pound, pummel, jerk, and jolt the G‑spot at a high frequency.
To be frank, it’s a lot, and if you’re the type to feel tender at all after orgasm, this “wham-bam” vibe ain’t for you. Doubly so if you don’t want that movement going in straight, as with the BMS Naked Addiction.
These toys bully an orgasm out of me and feel very one-and-done. Fortunately, you can turn off the Naked Addiction thruster’s motor and use it as a pliant dual-density dildo.
This self-thrusting rabbit fucking makes sense — the shaft fucks you while the external arm stays and vibrates in place. Cal Exotics’ Santa Cruz Coaster fits like my rabbit vibrator soulmate, tightly clamping my clit and G‑spot practically hands-free.
It fucks fast enough for me, at any speed setting. My walls can stall the Santa Cruz Coaster, but its bulbous build melds so well with my pubic bone that angling is effortless all the same. I don’t have to apply extra force or worry about grinding it against my front wall; it flawlessly does all the work for me, both inside and out.
For best results, make sure you:
- Keep it charged before use so it doesn’t run out of juice
- Use lots of lube to keep the surfaces smooth and slick
- Manage your expectations — it is very mechanical on the inside and pinpointed on the outside, and not everyone is into that
Use code SUPER for 10% off if you get one from Betty's Toy Box.
B‑tier: The Best of the Rest
The following toys’ movements might not entirely fall into the thrusting category. Still, they’re worth considering if you’re looking for:
- Pulsations that fall somewhere between thrusting and vibrating
- More options for different shapes
- Ways to switch sensations from internal to external to dual
The Evolved Gyro Vibe series offers a thuddy, thrumming option between thrusting and vibrating. Its motor hub houses a spinning weight, which diffuses movement to the flexible phallus(es) for G‑spotty (and potentially A‑spotty) massage.
Note my word choice: diffuse — the movement is noticeable (and looks wild on camera!) but more like passive pulses.
Even more notably, I can position the Evolved Gyro Vibe so that the external portion bumps up against my clit over and over again with smooooooth but percussive bravado. It first and foremost flaunts a clitoral claim to fame, with some penetration on the side.
I grouped these two vibes because their motors could easily be called “Stronic Lite.” They contain a similar but lighter linear magnetic weight mechanism to propel back and forth for stupidly quick orgasms from shallow sensations. Think of them as "Pulsator Minus" or "Dildo Plus" rather than full-on thrusters.
What makes these two picks unique is their shape:
- Dorcel’s Double Do delights my cervix with its suuuuper long and posable shaft
- Lovehoney’s Happy Rabbit Curve fits my clit-vag gap well for simultaneous hands-free G‑spot and clitoral stimulation
Stronic pulsators’ stroke lengths get shorter as you turn up the tempo; the more you trade the range of motion for speed, the more it resembles vibration.
Fun Factory’s Sundaze owns this quirk, offering numerous options for light linear tapping and vibration, all with a versatile head shape. An edge for pinpointed pulses? Check. A flat head for broader bumping? Check.
Its tip isn’t my favorite for internal stimulation, but:
- You can use Sundaze as mainly a clitoral massager, with penetration as a side dish
- It's super discreet and truly whisper-quiet with an unparalleled power-to-sound ratio
Read my full Fun Factory Sundaze review.
Summary: Toys That Hold Up Against My Gorilla Grip Coochie
- Velvet Thruster Primes are theeeeee best compact fucking machines for my cunt, with ample stroke length and battery juice to keep going and going
- Fun Factory’s Stronics are also powerful, with smaller and subtler but more focused pulsations
- Velvet Thruster’s Teddy Universal will get the job done, but it’s not on the same level as the Primes or the other Teddy units
- The Femmefunn Cadenza is aggressively G‑spotty and a little much sometimes
- The Cal Exotics Santa Cruz Coaster clamps my clit while self-thrusting like a dream
- Evolved Novelties’ Our Gyro Vibe could be considered a pulsator but works best as a clitoral massager with some penetration on the side rather than the other way
- Dorcel’s Double Do & Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Curve are the “Stronic lite” of double dildos and rabbit vibrators, respectively
Though Velvet Primes have snatched my soul for more than a half-decade, each of the above toys makes me fantastically feral in a different way.
Robust thrusts aren’t a given in Toyland, but there’s still plenty to choose from, depending on your priorities. Do you want a fucking machine that feels like fucking, or are you all in for riding a robot? My gorilla grip coochie says yes to all of the above.
See my deals and discounts page for codes to use at different shops:
- SUPER25 gets you 25% off at Velvet Thruster
- SUPERSMASHCACHE gets you 10% off at Peepshow Toys
- SUPER gets you 10% off at Betty's Toy Box
- SUPERSMASH10 gets you 10% off your first order (or check out as a guest) at Spectrum Boutique
Thrusting Toys That Stopped or Stalled When I Clenched
Indeed, testing fucking machines is fun, but I’ve tried many where I let out the unpleasant kind of groan.
This next part tells tales of toys less fun for me — but it might be more fun for you to read about the fuckers my walls stalled.
Grab some popcorn and butter, and season with the impending salt content.
Let’s rank the pathetic thrusting toys I disliked from most egregious to least.
The Haughty, their Hubris, and their Hamartia
The Lora DiCarlo Ose 2 is constitutionally undeserving of my cunt. This vibrator retailed for $300 and crowdfunded over $9 million with its declarations of next-level orgasms, but it couldn’t even handle the first clench when I came.
It stopped moving at the critical moment.
This toy is like that guy on Tinder who missed the memo that pleasing someone takes more than looks, audacity, and mystery.
It’s a mere step beyond that dating profile with no pictures — just a blank square. Lora DiCarlo’s ANME trade show booth in 2019 didn’t even have a product photo.
And let’s not forget that Lora ghosted retailers and consumers. Poof, gone, vanished, with orders left unfulfilled for months. The Theranos-ass trash took itself out. Call its downfall protection and redirection.
Oh, and if you’re going to close the orgasm gap, don’t just say it — show it.
“All pleasure, no noise!” declared the landing page of iobatoys’ — maker of the so-called “ultra silent” G‑spot massager that chittered like an angry squirrel when I squeezed around it.
Imagine these sounds at the critical climactic moment:
- A dolphin censoring words on Spongebob Squarepants
- A clicking Anti-Lock Braking System when driving in snow
As far as sex toys go? That’s the sound of cheap plastic components abrading under tension. For a triple-digit price tag, you deserve better than broken promises and broken parts.
I’m not sure why LELO asked if I’d review their Enigma Wave after I:
Reluctantly accepted a dateGave their Soraya Wave a chance, and went from a soft no to a “Hard no, and I must warn other women before it’s too late.”
- Explained why my heart sinks every time I see influencers promoting specific dual-stimulation/rabbit vibrators — cue flashbacks of disappointment after disappointment
The LELO Soraya Wave has two steady “come hither” speeds: slow and slower, and its loose fit doesn’t do shit for my clit.
I want to believe the best in people, but if Lora DiCarlo is a ghost, LELO is that persistent ex-prospect who used to be so sweet but became complacent, and now you (mostly) wish he would just go away.
6 More Thrusters My Cunt Constricted
I’ll rapid-fire the following because while they weren’t a good fit for me, they weren’t pompous in their presentation. It’s the difference between me sending a friend multiple consecutive voice notes ranting about someone versus quietly deleting a contact and message thread.
- Lovense Gravity — Stopped moving on all but the highest setting. It’s fine for casual users, but penetration aficionados are better served looking elsewhere.
- Maia Max/Monroe — Stopped moving entirely. It made that dreaded high-pitched whirr.
- Blush Novelties Temptasia Trixie — Also stopped moving. Clearly a response to the Velvet Thruster Prime Nanci head that I designed — and I ain’t mad. I just wish I could recommend more affordable thrusters — that can stand up to my gorilla grip coochie — in good faith.
- Cal Exotics Lust Rider — Slowed down to just the occasional, intermittent thrust here and there.
- BestVibe Phoenix — The thrusting stopped entirely while the gyration slowed down. Its “skeleton” was just too jabby for me.
- Cal Exotics Slay Thrust Me — so unmemorable I didn't include it in the original version of this post
- BMS Naked Addiction Freak 7.5" Rotating & Thrusting Vibrating Dong — not to be confused with the 9” Thrusting Dong, the rotating version conjured two words in my mind: “That’s… it?”
My gorilla grip coochie and I ran out of fucks to give by that point.
PLEASURE PRINCESS. COMPACT, HIGH-CAPACITY HUMAN. CERVIX SORCERESS.
I've tested over 350 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A‑spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.
Mesmerizing mindfucking or physical fisting? Blowing men or minds? Opening books or legs? Why not all of the above?
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