One orgasm, 10 orgasms, 20 orgasms in one session? Whatever the electricity feels like for you here and now, enjoy the vibe.
Here's my lens for fire-starting your fucking and fanning the flames:
Exhilarating expansion — get creative with the totality of possibilities!
Subjectifying sexuality and sensuality — shifting it from a performance for the outside viewer to the inside experiencer. Revel in the body's innate ability to feel "oh-god-oh-fuck-yes" ecstatic.
Do you want to go deeper and feed the feral?
Demystifying, destigmatizing, and savoring your subconscious desires. That includes:
- Cultivating risk awareness and tolerance for the taboo
- Breaking binary boxes and rejecting mainstream limitations
- Navigating nuance, darkness, and dimensionality as humans
…so you can feel good about feeling good and unlock potent pleasure on your terms.
Brain-breath-body integration — going beyond the genitals and further into the mindfuck and feeling it all over.
Contextualizing the politics of pleasure so that self-care, intimate partner care, and community care converge. Because, ultimately, my work isn't just about enjoying sex but also relishing your radiant life.
1. Sex-positivity is about totally owning your experience.
Take your pleasure into your own hands. Explore new things, do your Kegels, breathe, and enjoy. Don't believe the bullshit that it's inherently harder for women to orgasm. We don't have to accept the "orgasm gap" on a cultural level.
Sometimes, that means doing your own thing, even when what gets you hot and heavy isn't what "everyone else" likes. We don't yuck each other's yums here!
Much of my blog's origin was rooted in sharing less-conventional pathways to pleasure:
- Cervical orgasms
- Exploring the A‑spot
- Fisting and huge toys
- Stainless steel dildos
- Pillow Princess life
Claiming pleasure begins with believing that your body is capable and deserving of great things — whatever that looks like for you.
2. Sex toys are good and useful tools.
A sex toy's purpose is to stimulate better than your hands can. Sometimes, that means textures galore, or a rounded dildo the size of a soda can, or what could pass as a bludgeon. And you know what? Using specialized tools is okay.
Plenty of the best carpenters use power tools, laser cutters, and sledgehammers. Using a self-propelling reciprocating saw doesn't make someone better or worse than someone who uses a handsaw. Driving a car doesn't ruin long walks with a partner. It just takes you farther in less time.
3. Nobody will ever know everything about sex.
Even though our genes need sex to propagate, nobody is born inherently knowing how to communicate and build up hot, mutually pleasure-oriented sex. It's something we discover over time. And nobody is ever going to know everything about sex. That's like saying you know everything love, health, or food.
Sex such a broad topic with so many intricacies — biological, social, economic.
But you're much more likely to find what you love if you're trying new things. Sometimes you'll try something that makes you feel lukewarm. Sometimes, something really delicious you try at a buffet elevates your standards. And sometimes, someone serves a better peach cobbler than what you can make yourself. But isn't the satisfaction of tasting it still wonderful?
4. Every body is different; nobody is irredeemable. Everyone deserves pleasure.
We all come in different shapes and sizes, and our sexual anatomy and preferences also have much variety. Even your life experiences will heavily influence your kinks. So think of me as a stylist: I'm here to help you find something that suits you.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by the options, feel free to contact me.
I'll send you some articles that may help you and give personalized suggestions for toys to try. If your questions are beyond the scope of an email, we can talk about one-on-one Zoom calls and consultations!