Review sampler: Jopen Comet Wand, Kinklab Neon Wand, LuzArte Jollet, MyStim Sizzling Simon

2014 was the year of my sexual awakening. It was the year of:

Not coin­ci­den­tal­ly, it was the year my sex toy col­lec­tion seri­ous­ly start­ed expand­ing. It would­n’t have been an exag­ger­a­tion to say that by the end of 2014, I had a lit­tle over $1,000 worth of sex toys. And when you have that many sex toys, it’s nat­ur­al to devel­op picky pref­er­ences and have favorites.

What about now, four years later? Did the toys I loved in 2014 stand the test of time?

[Image: Best 4 Sex Toys of 2014 banner, featuring MyStim Simon, Luzarte Jollet, Neon Wand, and Jopen Comet Wand]

  1. Jollies Jollet by LuzArte (for­mer­ly Chavez Dezignz and Jollies)
  2. Kinklab Neon Wand + Power Tripper attachment
  3. Jopen Comet Wand
  4. MyStim Sizzling Simon

1 Jollies Jollet by LuzArte

Damn near perfect dildo for simultaneous G‑spot and cervix stimulation

Shape and features of the Jollies Jollet

[Image: blue and purple Luzarte Luna plug next to Luzarte Jollet dildo in front of Lego building]

Legend has it that the Jollies Jollet was cast from the inside of a vagi­na, that they who wield this mighty dil­do will have their ori­fice filled per­fect­ly with firm pres­sure. There’s a bump that’s 1.9″ at the fullest part and press­es into the G‑spot while the tapered tip slides behind the cervix. There’s also a bul­let cav­i­ty into which the user can insert a pow­er­ful bul­let vibe and make the whole thing vibrate.

The bump’s posi­tion per­fect­ly thrusts to stim­u­late both of my favorite inter­nal eroge­nous zones res­onat­ing split-time. When I pull, it press­es into my G‑spot, and when I push, it press­es into my pos­te­ri­or fornix, all with just enough room for me to make the small thrusts my cervix likes. And when I orgasm and clench, it push­es the bump into my G‑spot even more, mak­ing me come non­stop for a few min­utes straight if I’m real­ly in the mood.

You can embed practically anything you want in the clear silicone!

Custom Jollie

As if the sexy shape was­n’t enough, the aes­thet­ic col­or and pat­tern pos­si­bil­i­ties are end­less. The par­tic­u­lar Jollet I have has lit­tle rain­bow pom-poms sus­pend­ed in it for pol­ka dots, but you could cus­tomize it with what­ev­er you want. Just email Luz and order via the LuzArte Products website.

You could put laven­der and herbs in it. Dungeons and Dragons dice. Silk flow­ers. False eye­lash­es and glit­ter. Barbie hands. Confetti. Monopoly game pieces. Let that sink in. In the pic­ture to above is a close­ly relat­ed vagi­nal plug called the Jollie, with embed­ded rhinestones.

(Hey! You can get 30% off any LuzArte Products order, includ­ing total­ly cus­tomized Jollets, with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE.)

I still love the Jollies Jollet, and…

I wish I had known more about how to take care of clear silicone

[Image: Fun Factory Stronic pulsators, Blush Aria Flutter, Luzarte Luna, and polka-dot Luzarte Jollet dildo]

2014 was a time when I was a lot more dra­con­ian about dis­in­fect­ing my dil­dos, often using a bleach solu­tion. Bleach does­n’t affect the body-safe nature of clear/translucent sil­i­cone, but it can react and dis­col­or it yellow.

The change is chem­i­cal, so you can’t scrub it off. That was some­thing that nobody ever told me when I start­ed col­lect­ing sex toys, so it’s a bum­mer that my old Jollet did­n’t stay clear.

To keep your clear sil­i­cone col­or­less, I sug­gest you use some­thing gen­tle like Dr. Bronner’s unscent­ed soap and if you need to dis­in­fect, boil for 5 min­utes. With prop­er care, clear sil­i­cone will stay clear.

I’m excited that Chavez Dezignz / Jollies is now back as LuzArte!

I had nev­er been so excit­ed to announce a dis­con­tin­ued pro­duc­t’s revival! The mak­er I got my Jollet dil­do from closed short­ly (but tem­porar­i­ly) after I bought it. Almost four years lat­er, they came back under a new name: LuzArte prod­ucts. I long antic­i­pat­ed the day that I could spread the gospel of the Jollet, and oth­er peo­ple could expe­ri­ence just how glo­ri­ous its G‑spotting is!

If you don’t want some­thing custom-made, you can also get a pol­ka dot or pur­ple flame Jollet from Spectrum Boutique. Take 10% off with dis­count code SUPERSMASH10


2 KinkLab Neon Wand + Power Tripper

Electrify your body!

[Image: kinklab neon wand with purple argon gas-filled tube]

Imagine that every time you got close to some­one, they’d feel a spark. Literally. It’s a real­i­ty with the Neon Wand and Power Tripper attach­ment. The attach­ment plugs into the wand on one end and tucks into your bra or waist­band on the oth­er, and that’s when the mag­ic hap­pens: you can shock peo­ple with any part of your body.

It can feel like a slight tin­gle with sur­faces like the pads of your fin­gers or focused like tat­too nee­dles if you use your fin­ger­tips or tongue, or bet­ter yet, a met­al imple­ment. Forks, tweez­ers, and Wartenberg wheels are all ways to inten­si­fy the elec­tric feel.

My favorite for tor­tur­ing peo­ple has to be a metal­lic cheer pom-pom, though. Think about it: the strands are ran­dom­ly aligned, so the per­son receiv­ing the sen­sa­tion does­n’t know exact­ly where the next shock will be.

The Neon Wand comes with glass elec­trodes that glow a gor­geous pur­ple or red, but if you haven’t tried the Power Tripper attach­ment (sold sep­a­rate­ly), you haven’t tried the Neon Wand.

Fun at vanilla parties as Pikachu for Halloween

That’s right: I did­n’t just dress like Pikachu, but I also could shock peo­ple like Pikachu at Halloween par­ties. People gath­ered around me to have their turn play­ing with me, even though it was in a non-sexual context.

[Image: kinklab power tripper]

I could also hold hands with peo­ple and, as long as we main­tained phys­i­cal con­tact, they could shock peo­ple too. With a long exten­sion cord, we could have played Red Rover with it.

We con­tin­ued with a chain of peo­ple until it seemed rel­a­tive­ly innocu­ous to some­one just arriv­ing: a per­son quite far away from me could shock others.

The Neon Wand is mar­ket­ed as an erot­ic fetish device, but don’t let that lim­it your imag­i­na­tion! It’s fun for non-sexual play, too.

How did I feel about the KinkLab Neon Wand in 2018?

I wish I still had it! A friend bor­rowed it a few years back, and I nev­er saw it again. If my boyfriend lived near­by, I might con­sid­er buy­ing anoth­er one. However, since he’s long-distance and I don’t go to par­ties as often as I used to, the Neon Wand isn’t a pri­or­i­ty… even if I do get nos­tal­gic think­ing about being Pikachu for a day.

I missed it so much that I bought a new one! Fuck yeah.

2020 UPDATE: read my Zeus Twilight Violet Wand review

The Zeus Twilight Violet Wand works the same way as the KinkLab Neon Wand does. If you still have ques­tions about vio­let rays, be sure to check out that post for my answers to frequently-asked questions!


3 Jopen Comet Wand

G‑spot assailing vibrator

[Image: purple Jopen Comet Wand]

This vibra­tor will bash your G‑spot so hard that you won’t give three fucks about four fucks. Imagine the njoy Pure Wand’s big end in vibra­tor form, and that’s the Jopen Comet Wand. The crit­i­cal dif­fer­ence, how­ev­er, is that it’s made of hard plas­tic and sil­i­cone, mak­ing it more lightweight.

It was one of the absolute most direct G‑spot toys you could get, espe­cial­ly for this price. The bul­bous head is of mod­er­ate girth on an abrupt­ly nar­rowed, steeply C‑curved neck and shaft. It was effort­less to stick in the Comet Wand and feel the bulb thrust against my G‑spot with the slight­est push­ing on the han­dle. Every jig­gle and twist dri­ves me wild.

If your G‑spot is a lit­tle past your pubic bone (which is the case with most vagi­nas), your G‑spot deserves to have the Jopen Comet Wand (or the njoy Pure Wand) anni­hi­late it. It’s not a toy for the faint of the vagina.

How do I feel about the Jopen Comet Wand now?

The Jopen Comet Wand is worth every pen­ny for its G‑spot pound­ing. Its vibra­tions are pow­er­ful, so buzzy and loud that they’re more there for “oomph” than as an essen­tial feature.

[Image: njoy Eleven, Vixen Randy, and njoy Pure Plug]

I end­ed up giv­ing the Comet Wand to a sex-positive friend. While it was an essen­tial part of my sex­u­al self-exploration at age 19, I’ve since found G‑spot toys I like way more. The njoy Eleven and Vixen Creations Randy, for exam­ple, might be less direct on my G‑spot, but they’re girthi­er and fill me up more intensely.

The Jopen Comet Wand is still one of the best G‑spot mis­siles if you’re into that, but since I love deep­er pen­e­tra­tion, it was a toy that I used less and less over time.


4 MyStim Sizzling Simon

Self-contained E‑stim vibrator

This vibrator shocks the inside of my vagina

[Image: holding the mystim sizzling simon electrosex vibrator in my hand and showing off my angel nail decals]

What makes the MyStim Sizzling Simon so unique is that it’s a vibra­tor that deliv­ers elec­tri­cal stim­u­la­tion via built-in plates on either side. (Obviously, don’t use it if you have a pace­mak­er.) You don’t need to plug it into a sep­a­rate unit, mak­ing it far less expen­sive than the alter­na­tives. The shocks feel like some­thing between tin­gling, prick­ling, and puls­ing, depend­ing on which set­ting I use.

[Image: black MyStim Sizzling Simon]

The elec­tros­tim­u­la­tion turns me the fuck on. It’s enough to make me come, but I can’t use the e‑stim on this vibra­tor with­out want­i­ng to pound my pussy hard.

I would­n’t rec­om­mend this device for e‑stim any­where but your ori­fices, though. I find that the shocks are too tem­pera­men­tal that way. In the same vein, make sure you insert the device entire­ly before you turn on the e‑stim.

Passive kegel exerciser

The kegel exer­cise set­tings’ elec­tri­cal surges feel a lot deep­er. It makes sense, con­sid­er­ing they’re designed to pen­e­trate your pelvic floor mus­cles, instead of just cause sen­sa­tion on the sur­face. My favorite way of using this set­ting is to pas­sive­ly kegel while reading.

I would­n’t buy the Sizzling Simon or any of MyStim’s self-contained e‑stim vibra­tors just for the kegel set­tings, but I do see where they would be espe­cial­ly use­ful. For exam­ple, peo­ple who have recent­ly giv­en birth would undoubt­ed­ly ben­e­fit from fun ways to do Kegels.

However, some might strug­gle with iso­lat­ing the pelvic floor mus­cles, and that’s where hav­ing an elec­tros­tim­u­la­tion device can come in and show the user which mus­cles to squeeze. (My advice does not replace a doc­tor’s. If you’re hav­ing severe issues, your ob-gyn can help way more.)

Moderately rumbly range of vibrations

MyStim Sizzling Simon vibra­tor has two motors: one in the shaft, and one in the tip. Between the two, there are at least six speed set­tings and six pat­terns of waves, puls­es, and esca­la­tion. The throb­bing rhythm of vibra­tions alter­nat­ing between motors gives this vibra­tor a sense of move­ment, even when it’s stationary.

How do I feel about the MyStim Sizzling Simon now?

Though the vibra­tions don’t impress me as much any­more, the Sizzling Simon could have been among my favorites if it could hold its bat­tery life over time. Seriously, if I charge it all the way and don’t use it for three weeks, it won’t turn on after hav­ing been set aside. Even if it does­n’t touch any­thing met­al. That’s how much the bat­tery sucks, and I seri­ous­ly don’t get it.

Review sampler: Jopen Comet Wand, Kinklab Neon Wand, LuzArte Jollet, MyStim Sizzling Simon 1

I’ve also since learned that I like girthi­er, smoother toys. If I had to do it all over again, I’d still buy a MyStim vibra­tor, but instead, I’d get the Tickling Truman. At 1.7″, it was girthy enough to intim­i­date 2014 me. Looking back, I think I could have con­sumed it. The Tickling Truman would fill me up bet­ter and been more suit­able for thrusting.


The more I think about it, the more I want to buy a Tickling Truman.

Some things nev­er change; 4 years after I start­ed col­lect­ing sex toys, I still haven’t reached a sat­u­ra­tion point. I still want to explore more and not just try new toys, but also revis­it what I liked about past toys to make my expe­ri­ences even bet­ter, come hard­er, and scream louder.

7 Responses

  1. Slink says:

    Love the con­cept of review­ing old favorites after years of use and new­er like prod­ucts! Hope you get a Tickling Truman, look for­ward to its future review.

  2. Kalliopeia says:

    I total­ly get the sexy poten­tial of the Power Tripper, but your descrip­tion of using it to mess with peo­ple at par­ties also sounds entire­ly delightful.

  3. Clara says:

    I wan­na try all of them! Thank you so much for the review. You’ve inspired me to try find­ing my gspot again!

  4. denise smith says:

    all of these toys i would love to try great post

  5. Trix says:

    Such a cool vari­ety of toys!

  6. C says:

    These all seem like inter­est­ing toys! I’d pre­vi­ous­ly want­ed a Jollet before & I loved how you could get it cus­tomized with any­thing. I also remem­ber find­ing the Tickling Truman when I was look­ing at stuff on Lovehoney & I thought it was inter­est­ing but a lit­tle scared of the e‑stim. I won­der how I’d like it if I tried it.

  7. DizzyD says:

    A while ago, I found a Jopen Comet wand in glass and sil­i­cone. I still have to try it, but if this is my thing, maybe I would like the Njoy Pure Wand. That’s why I bought it, to see if I like this kind of stimulation.

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