Uberrime Night King review: long fantasy dildo
The Uberrime Night King dildo feels like it was made just for me. I have all but died and come back to earth from heaven.
I'd clutch it hissing, "PRECIOUS" if anyone tried to take it.
Because, if you love texture and cervix stimulation, this silicone dildo is the fucking truth.
When Peepshow Toys first showed me the Night King, my reaction was immediate: "It's so pretty, I want to DIE!" A professional choice of words when emailing a business affiliate, I know.
UPDATE FOR NOVEMBER 21, 2022: Want the same size but in a realistic dildo form? See my new Uberrime Aptus review!
UPDATE FOR MARCH 6, 2019: To celebrate the beginning of the final season of Game of Thrones, Uberrime has made Fire-and-Ice-themed Night Kings! They'll be a fade with royal blue on the bottom half and red and yellow on the top half. And the silicone is slightly squishier. Find them at Peepshow Toys!
In this review:
- How does the Night King look?
- How does the Night King feel?
- Textures and G‑spot stimulation
- Cervix stimulation with the Night King
How does the Uberrime Night King look?
Every aspect of the Uberrime Night King's design is impeccable. The Game of Thrones-inspired color palette synergizes. And if seeing it from afar wasn't enough, the inky Nebula Blue in the bottom half has fine purple glitter dust mixed in.
My Night King's tightly structured, ribbon-like marbling on the bottom half looks deliberate. It looks like the maker has marbled silicone for a long time. I wasn't at all surprised to read Marco Uberrime's "about" page and see the following:
I rather enjoy sculpting, playing with colors and abstract shapes and combinations … There is a deep sense of gratification in hand making and I strive to become better, explore, and expand with each and every toy I make.
Marco takes pride and pleasure in his work, and it shows. The end products live up to the brand's name, Uberrime: Latin for luxury, abundance, and/or fruitfully copious.
How does the Night King feel?
The Night King I have is moderately firm (Dragon Skin Shore 10A). It's firm by fantasy dildo standards but springy by mine. I wouldn't have asked for anything else. The firmness brings out the Night King's best features: the textures against my G‑spot, and the curve against my cervix.
Textures and G‑spot stimulation
The Uberrime Night King has textures galore! Its head is double-crowned, giving it a satisfying pop during shallow penetration when I jiggle it against my G‑spot.
On the side that the curve faces, there's vertical and diagonal texture on the shaft. It wibbles and wobbles into more horizontal ripples as you turn the dildo. This works out perfectly for me— I like big ripples with spacing between, as well as verticals and diagonals I can twist.
You can also rub the textures against whatever junk you have. The extra long shaft can bend to stimulate the clitoris while thrusting, to wrap around a penis, and so on.
For me, though, the most potent magic happens when you go deeper.
Cervix stimulation with the Night King
You see that gradual but pronounced curve? There's no ignoring how easily, effortlessly the curve and girth massage my posterior fornix (also known as the PFE or Deep Spot). It brings out my favorite kind of orgasm: the cervical orgasm. Deep, full-bodied, expansively buildable, and full of spellbinding heart-eyes-emoji voodoo.
This level of ease for cervix stimulation is quite rare in Toyland. Sure, I've reviewed some toys that could reach my slightly-shallower A‑spot (about 5 inches in), or my very shallow G‑spot. And technically, any long toy could fit into my posterior fornix, but experience has shown that toys can slide in there but miss the spot that makes me weak at the knees.
It's been six months since I've reviewed a new toy that makes my cervix feel this loved. The Uberrime Night King reminds me of the meat-and-potatoes of my masturbation: the VixSkin Johnny. Back in 2015, I wrote:
"The VixSkin Johnny has so highly raised my standards… When trying out another dildo I like, I ask myself: 'Would saying that I love that other toy, be fair to the Johnny?' The answer is rarely ever 'yes.'"
I stand by that statement, but the Uberrime Night King is that exceptional. Yes, I do love it, and yes, it would be fair to the Johnny. The two share some features that I adore:
- the gradual curve
- the girth for added intensity
- the firmness to thrust with precision
- the softness to bash against my cervix to my heart's delight
…and then some. I'm head-over-heels in love.
UPDATE FOR NOVEMBER 21, 2022: Want the same size but in a realistic dildo form? See my new Uberrime Aptus review!
You can get the Uberrime Night King and other Uberrime dildos at Peepshow Toys. Take 10% off sitewide with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE
PLEASURE PRINCESS. COMPACT, HIGH-CAPACITY HUMAN. CERVIX SORCERESS.
I've tested over 350 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A‑spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.
Mesmerizing mindfucking or physical fisting? Blowing men or minds? Opening books or legs? Why not all of the above?
Read more about me, my philosophy, and my love for cervical orgasms and deep penetration.
Can't get enough? Subscribe to new posts via email.
Discover more from Super Smash Cache
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I love the look of this toy, but I'm a little nervous about the firmness. Would you feel similarly about it if this dildo was softer?
Probably not the exact same way at first — it was an acquired taste — but you can get the softness customized at Uberrime.com <3
I was too scared to get it in 10A but Marco(freaking angel he is) made it in 5A and its perfect for me!
LOVE THIS FOR YOU
it's still always so interesting reading what works for someone else and it contrasts very differently to yourself ^^ ty for this lovely review!!
I finally got this toy and I almost cried when my boyfriend used it on me. How does the a‑spot do what it does? It doesn't seem like we should be able to experience pleasure like that.
It's such a beautiful toy, the texture and colors.The line "You can also rub the textures against whatever junk you have" made me laugh out loud
I am loving the patterns of textures in this. Also that head is so interesting.
I got this beauty after reading this review and it does not disappoint! It’s an amazing toy!