My top 10 sex toys & products for partner play

Best couples sex toys and products listicle header image

Sex toys are for peo­ple from all walks of life— not just sin­gle cis­women this Valentine’s Day. And prac­ti­cal­ly any sex toy can be a cou­ples’ toy if you use it with a part­ner. Some toys, though, are more con­ve­nient to com­bine with cer­tain part­nered activ­i­ties than oth­ers. These are my top picks, from a most­ly vanil­la stand­point (kinki­er toys are a top­ic I’m sav­ing for a whole oth­er post!).

Some of the best sex toys to use with a partner:

1 Pom by Dame Products: a lay-on vibrator that’s ideal for PIV intercourse

Dame Products Pom handheld vibrator for intercourse front view

I love every­thing about this petite, hand­held cli­toral vibra­tor’s shape. The Dame Pom nes­tles intu­itive­ly in my hand, flex­es to fit between bod­ies in vary­ing posi­tions, and offers options for both broad and pin­point stimulation.

All of these fea­tures, com­bined with the low-pitched vibra­tions, make it my favorite vibe to grind up against while my part­ner’s cock is inside me. I’m a pin­point princess, and it takes so lit­tle effort to aim the Dame Pom’s “beak.” Every lit­tle nudge from my part­ner dri­ves me wild.

Jade green Pom by Dame Products versatile clitoral vibrator unboxed

And because it’s all hand­held and exter­nal, it does­n’t come with the fit issues inher­ent to vibrat­ing cock rings. No wor­ries about the ring not fit­ting the cock, or the vibe not align­ing with some­one’s clit-vag gap or being at a weird angle that does­n’t intu­itive­ly con­tact the cli­toris. Just straight­for­ward sexy solo ses­sions and part­ner playtime.

Read my full review of the Pom by Dame Products. Or get it from Spectrum Boutique for 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASH10

2 Neon Wand + Power Tripper: turn me on with your electric feel

Feel the spark. Literally. The Neon Wand and Power Tripper attach­ment prac­ti­cal­ly turn my whole body into an elec­trode; every time I get (or a met­al object I’m hold­ing gets) super close to some­one, elec­tric­i­ty arcs. It can be won­der­ful­ly sub­tle if I use the pads of my fin­gers or intense and tattoo-like with, say, the prongs of a fork or a Wartenberg wheel. Or elec­tri­fy the tip of your tongue for oral sex.

You could also play with the chaos of a metal­lic pom-pom. There’s no pre­dict­ing which strand will shock the receiv­er first. And some totally-not-sexual things to do with it include tak­ing a Pikachu cos­tume to the next lev­el. Or play­ing Red Rover. Yes, if you’re wear­ing the Power Tripper and hold­ing some­one’s hand, they can then shock oth­er peo­ple too!

Note: the bat­tery and invert­er in the pic­ture to the right aren’t part of the kit; I had those to make the set­up more portable back in 2014. Otherwise, plug the Neon Wand into the wall and have fun. Get it from SheVibe — Neon Wand and Power Tripper sold separately.

2020 UPDATE: Want to know more about how vio­let rays and neon wands feel? Check out my Zeus Twilight Violet Wand review. It uses the same mech­a­nism as the Neon Wand.

3 Zumio: a pinpoint, oscillating vibrator to combine with cunnilingus

Zumio X in charger

One of my favorite ways to use the Zumio oscil­lat­ing clit vibe is to pair it with a part­ner’s tongue. Again, I love tar­get­ed and pin­point stim­u­la­tion, and the Zumio is about as pin­point as it gets. The perk to using its tiny tip on my clit is that there’s still plen­ty of real estate left on my clit for oth­er meth­ods of stimulation.

Just be fore­warned that the Zumio is over­whelm­ing­ly intense and not for the faint of the cli­toris (or frenu­lum). Of the eight set­tings, I’ve nev­er made it past the 5th, despite my usu­al stub­born­ness about try­ing more and more extreme toys. I can’t imag­ine turn­ing it up to the 6th speed on myself and not coming.

The Zumio is the clos­est thing to an “instant orgasm” but­ton I’ve ever tried, and thank good­ness it has a “decrease speed” but­ton to turn it down right after I come! You can also use the stem instead of the tip if you want less tar­get­ed stim­u­la­tion at times.

If the Zumio is right for you, you prob­a­bly already know it. When rub­bing your cli­toris, do you enjoy using a fin­ger­nail for a sharp­er sen­sa­tion? Do you like teeth light­ly graz­ing dur­ing cun­nilin­gus? If so, this oscil­lat­ing vibra­tor is a per­fect fit. Read my full review of the Zumio X here or get it from Peepshow Toys for 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE

4 Magic Wand Plus or Rechargeable: a rumbly vibrator to hold against one’s cheek while giving blowjobs

Magic Wand Plus rumbly corded wand vibrator in my hand and next to its packaging

On the oppo­site end of the size spec­trum is the jug­ger­naut for­mer­ly known as the Hitachi Magic Wand. With a big­ger motor and far more sur­face area than the Zumio, the upgrad­ed Magic Wand Plus is among my top picks for using on penises.

Yes, vibra­tors aren’t just for girls! Some peo­ple think of a cli­toris as a tiny penis, yeah? On the flip side, you could think of a penis as a big cli­toris, also recep­tive to vibra­tions. I still love my pin­point Eroscillator for using direct­ly on a part­ner’s frenu­lum, and my ex enjoyed his Hot Octopuss Pulse III for solo play. But the Magic Wand Plus and Doxy Die Cast are more prac­ti­cal for adding broad­ly dis­trib­uted vibra­tions dur­ing a blow job.

At $60, the Magic Wand Original is a rad toy for the price. But while I revere its sta­tus as a piece of his­to­ry (seri­ous­ly, it’s been around since 1968!), I don’t entire­ly love the orig­i­nal. The new­er ver­sions, how­ev­er, come with the fol­low­ing upgrades:

  • qui­eter
  • rum­bli­er— lower-pitch and high­er ampli­tude / big­ger range of motion
  • non-porous sil­i­cone head
  • come with four speeds instead of 2 (two more set­tings on the low­er end)

…and now I’d rec­om­mend the Magic Wand Plus to just about any­one. Think of the Magic Wand Plus as feel­ing like the Rechargeable (almost basslike on the low­est speed), but cord­ed and with a price clos­er to the Magic Wand Original’s.If you can’t wait to try it, take 10% off the Magic Wand Plus (or any­thing else) at Peepshow Toys with code SUPERSMASHCACHE

5 njoy Eleven: girthy, G‑spotty, and A‑spotty stainless steel for deep penetration

njoy eleven fat stainless steel dildo in my hand

I wrote to anoth­er blog­ger, “Lana Del Rey must have thought about the njoy Eleven when she sang, ‘I’m cry­ing while I’m com­ing.’ ” It’s the toy I whip out when I intro­duce a part­ner to my toy col­lec­tion and want to push them into the deep end of the pool right away.

Three pounds of med­ical grade stain­less steel com­prise this mon­stros­i­ty. An arm work­out? Sure, but worth it every time. It’s almost like this dil­do was made just for me with its S‑curve. While the njoy Pure Wand has a steep C‑curve for shal­low and direct G‑spotting, the Eleven is an engi­neered instru­ment for deep pen­e­tra­tion and mas­sag­ing my cervix or A‑spot.

Though it’s not as direct as the Pure Wand, the big­ger end of the Eleven is amaz­ing for G‑spotting, too! I’m some­one who loves fist­ing and huge sex toys, so the njoy Eleven’s 2″ diam­e­ter and bul­bous shape, cast in steel, are plen­ty to sat­is­fy me.

It’s exact­ly the kind of inten­si­ty that would make me cry because it’s so fuck­ing cathar­tic. With a lit­tle for­ward tilt of the njoy Eleven, it’s pret­ty fool­proof for a hum­ble ser­vant to please this pressure-loving size queen.

6 Womanizer Liberty: quick, over-the-top orgasms in a small package

Womanizer Liberty travel case and size comparison to avocados

A part­ner does­n’t know me until he’s looked into my eyes while fuck­ing me, while I hold an air pres­sure stim­u­la­tor against my cli­toris and scream, “GIVE ME THAT COME.”

It’s so inescapably intense. It makes me vio­lent­ly com­mand dirt­i­er things the longer I use it with a part­ner. If I could form more com­plex sen­tences through the orgasms, they’d prob­a­bly be more like, “Give me your come now or I’ll fuck­ing kill you.”

It’s not just that the Womanizers (both the Womanizer Classic and the travel-sized Womanizer Liberty) are intense— they’re the rawest mind­fuck I could get from cli­toral stim­u­la­tion alone. And con­sid­er­ing how vital deep pen­e­tra­tion is to me, that’s say­ing something.

Both are awe­some, but the Liberty is far more dis­creet than the Classic. If you loathe the Womanizer’s name, you could get a Satisfyer instead. Just be aware that the Satisfyers are more cheap­ly made and won’t last as long, but the sen­sa­tion is still impres­sive if you’re try­ing some­thing new. (And please, for the love of all that is holy, please don’t get the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples.)

Both brands are avail­able at Peepshow Toys and, as always, you can take 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE

And how could I forget non-toy accessories like condoms and lube?

Hathor Sutil Body Glide Mint Flavor

7 Hathor/SUTIL: amazing flavored lubes

SUTIL Flavours starts with Hathor/SUTIL’s leg­endary plant-based Luxe for­mu­la. It’s super skin-friendly with no yucky stuff (like glyc­erin, parabens, propy­lene gly­col, etc.) and cer­tain­ly no sug­ar in its fla­vor­ing. Every ingre­di­ent is respon­si­bly sourced. The propanediol-based for­mu­la also coun­ter­acts some of the bit­ter­ness typ­i­cal of fla­vor carriers.

My favorites are the mint (which pleas­ant­ly, slight­ly tin­gles) and coconut fla­vors. Read my full review of Hathor/SUTIL Flavours here.

8 Sliquid Swirl Cherry Vanilla: the best cherry-flavored lube

Sliquid Swirl cherry vanilla flavored personal lubricant thumbnail

The only fla­vor I did­n’t like from Hathor/SUTIL was the cher­ry because it was bit­ter and remind­ed me too much of cough med­i­cine. For that rea­son, I want to give a shout-out to Sliquid for their Cherry Vanilla Sliquid Swirl fla­vor. It’s prob­a­bly the best cherry-flavored lube I’ve ever tried.

Like Hathor/SUTIL, Sliquid is pH-balanced, plant-based, and free of com­mon irri­tants. The most notable dif­fer­ence is that Sliquid owes its slip­per­i­ness to cotton-based cel­lu­lose instead of propane­di­ol. Take 10% off the Cherry Vanilla fla­vored Sliquid Swirl at Peepshow Toys with code SUPERSMASHCACHE

9Love begins with L. large condoms

Love begins with L large condoms

Love begins with L. offers the best large con­doms, accord­ing to my past well-endowed part­ners. And the folks over at Vibrant have heard such com­ments, as well! Yes, a well-hung guy can put “regular”-sized con­doms on, but that does­n’t mean it’s com­fort­able. Add a few (just a few!) drops of lube inside the tip of the con­dom to make it feel even better.

10 Menstrual cups or discs + black towels: mess-free cunnilingus on my period

Fun Factory menstrual cups set thumbnail

For me, peri­od sex is a fact of life, and frankly, if a part­ner had an issue with it, I’d prob­a­bly stop talk­ing to them. The day before my peri­od and the first day is when I’m so horny that I’m con­fi­dent my cause of death will be spon­ta­neous human combustion.

Lay out a black tow­el or Liberator Throe. Insert a tam­pon or men­stru­al cup to col­lect blood if you’re receiv­ing oral. Maybe have your part­ner use a den­tal dam. Shower after­ward. Boom, done.

Menstrual cups vary in shape, so don’t be deterred if the Diva Cup, the most well-known, does­n’t fit you. Read Lorax of Sex’s mega men­stru­al cup com­par­i­son or get the Fun Factory Explore men­stru­al cup set.

It comes with two sizes so you can try both and see which one works bet­ter for you. Or maybe you’ll find that you like both but on dif­fer­ent days of your peri­od. You can also find afford­able men­stru­al cups at SheVibe to try out from Femintimate (small, large) and JimmyJane.

My top 10 sex toys & products for partner play 1

Wrapping it up

Hands, tongues, gen­i­tals, and human con­nec­tion are all enjoy­able aspects of part­ner play. Sex toys are tools that can syn­er­gize with them to make an even more awe­some expe­ri­ence. Some sex toys go well with inter­course, oth­ers are eas­i­er to pair with oral, and some are amaz­ing all on their own. The ven­tures are what you make of them.

This list is by no means com­pre­hen­sive, but if you’re begin­ning to incor­po­rate sex toys into part­ner play, then I hope it gives you a fun and pos­i­tive place to start.

3 Responses

  1. Jeff says:

    We love the Zumio, but be care­ful when using it dur­ing PIV sex because you may ‘stab’ an oth­er­wise inno­cent penis.

  2. Madelyn says:

    Loving these reviews!! Helping me build my arsenal.

  3. I love how you take pho­tos of the toys! I nev­er real­ized how much the Womanizer Liberty looks like an avo­ca­do, Emojibator’s chick toy would’ve been so much cuter as an avocado ?

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