Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples review: wearable suction vibrator for intercourse

I refuse to believe that the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples could be any­thing but an after­thought. It's as if the folks over at Satisfyer HQ made the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration and the G‑Spot Rabbit, then scram­bled when they real­ized that they failed to bud­get decent­ly for a third toy design.

If any­thing, I'm almost resent­ful that I took decent pic­tures of the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples before my boyfriend and I tried it.

Okay, so what even is this?

Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples suction air pulse vibrator on a rock in the woodlands

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples is a vibra­tor designed for cis, het­ero­sex­u­al cou­ples who want to add "hands-free" cli­toral stim­u­la­tion dur­ing vagi­nal intercourse.

It's sup­posed to work by hav­ing one vibrat­ing end inside the vagi­na, while the oth­er forms a seal around the cli­toris and simul­ta­ne­ous­ly applies touch-free pres­sure. Basically, the out­er part rapid­ly alter­nates between light­ly suck­ing and blow­ing air.

It's not sur­pris­ing that Satisfyer would want to make a wear­able, PIV (penis-in-vag)-friendly, clit-sucking vibra­tor. They've made rip-offs of Womanizer's orig­i­nal pres­sure wave stim­u­la­tor (now dis­con­tin­ued), so it's not sur­pris­ing that they'd come for the We-Vibe (made by the par­tic­u­lar­ly liti­gious com­pa­ny, Standard Innovations) as well. With the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, they cap­i­tal­ized on a quarter-assed com­bi­na­tion of those two patents.

4 reasons why I question the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples' sheer existence

Any sin­gle one of the design flaws alone would have been a deal­break­er for me:

  1. The vibra­tions
  2. The but­ton size and placement
  3. The rigid suc­tion nozzle
  4. The shape of the inter­nal arm

Keep in mind that when it comes to vagi­nal inter­course, I'm very much "go hard or go home"; more often than not, I need deep pen­e­tra­tion to enjoy PIV. This pref­er­ence affects how I used this toy.

1 The vibrations

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples vibrator sits on a sundial clock. It's the standing part that casts a shadow for an hour hand

The inter­nal arm's vibra­tions, on the low­est speed, legit­i­mate­ly sound like they could be com­ing from a buzzing cell phone. On the high­est speed, it's like a mos­qui­to flew into my ear. It's just so piti­ful that I almost want to laugh at the absurdity.

It's not the buzzi­est vibra­tor I've ever tried. That's a high bar to set, I know. While a cheap, shit­ty bul­let is just dis­ap­point­ing, it's hard­ly extra­or­di­nary. I'd rather spend my ener­gy steer­ing read­ers toward bet­ter clit vibes. This Satisfyer mod­el, though, dis­gusts me in so many oth­er ways that I find the oth­er­wise mediocre vibra­tions expo­nen­tial­ly offensive.

2 The button placement

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples vibrator's buttons are rose gold and feature 4 buttons.

Click, click, click, click, click. My boyfriend's pubic bone pressed the but­tons with every thrust. With the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples insert­ed dur­ing mis­sion­ary and cow­girl, it's impos­si­ble for us to keep the pres­sure wave motor run­ning at a con­sis­tent setting.

The prob­lem lies in the but­tons' place­ment and their bulk. The con­trol pan­el rests on a con­vex sur­face between two pubic bones bash­ing togeth­er. If Satisfyer didn't have the bud­get to design small­er, recessed but­tons, they could have placed the con­trol pan­el on the oth­er end of the cli­toral arm. That way, at least the sur­face would curve away from the users' bodies.

3 The suction nozzle

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples vibrator's nozzle is positioned toward the bottom of the clitoral arm. The arm is very bulky

But mov­ing the con­trol pan­el wouldn't have made the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples less painful. The suc­tion noz­zle that seals around the cli­toral glans is a rigid tube. In ventro-ventro sex posi­tions, the nozzle's hard ring ham­mers against my skin and bone. The tip might have been more com­fort­able if the rim was wider and cushier.

My boyfriend and I didn't try doggy-style with this vibra­tor insert­ed; I'm not com­mit­ted to see­ing how dis­mal a sex toy could get. However, I don't think try­ing dif­fer­ent posi­tions would have helped when every thrust inward pushed to bur­row the suc­tion tip in farther.

4 The shape of the internal arm

Side view of the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples on rock. The tip of the insertable arm is very pointy

Likewise, the "out" stroke of each thrust pulled the vibra­tor out a lit­tle. When I was on top, it would be espe­cial­ly prone to pop­ping out-of-place.

Unlike say, the We-Vibe Sync, the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples doesn't have any bulging or tex­ture in the inter­nal arm. Such fea­tures would help to lock it in place past the pubic bone. It's total­ly smooth and comes to a point. Yeah, it might be easy to fit a penis in because it's so slim, but what good is that when the tip moves around and pokes my vagi­nal walls?

The few good things about the Satisfyer Pro are all "Yeah, but..."s

Yeah, the cli­toral suc­tion noz­zle aligns with my cli­toris, but that's because the dis­tance between my cli­toris and vagi­na is fair­ly aver­age at 1 inch. Unless you've mea­sured and know your clit-vag gap is the same, you can't know whether the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples will align correctly.

If you yearn for a "cou­ples' vibra­tor," the We-Vibe Sync has hinges that adjust so it can fit a vari­ety of vul­vas. However, the hinges and dimen­sions are obvi­ous­ly lim­it­ed, so I can't absolute­ly promise you that it will fit you. The inter­nal arm is still buzzy, but the cli­toral arm has rumbly vibrations.

Yeah, the pres­sure wave stim­u­la­tion is awe­some, but if you want that dur­ing inter­course, you could get a hand­held Womanizer Starlet. You have way bet­ter options, like the We-Vibe Melt, Dame Aer, and Satisfyer Curvy 3+. They're, non-intrusive, and it doesn't mat­ter how big your C‑V gap is.

Best clitoral air pulse toys for couples to use during partnered sex

See my mega-guide to best cli­toral air pulse toys for more details. Among oth­er fac­tors, it'll help you decide which one is the best for pair­ing with intercourse.

Most of all, you can point the han­dle away from your vagi­na. With the Starlet, it'd at least be achiev­able for my boyfriend and me to posi­tion with­out discomfort.

The more things a sex toy tries to do at once, the more likely it is to fail

In order for a rabbit-style vibra­tor to be suc­cess­ful, the user would have to enjoy:

  1. the inter­nal arm — shape and size
  2. the exter­nal arm — vibra­tion strength, flex­i­bil­i­ty, tip shape
  3. the rela­tion­ship between the two arms — dis­tance and angle

It's like find­ing a bra that fits: there are so many vari­ables. And adding the part­ner pen­e­tra­tion aspect just makes it so much more complicated.

I don't usu­al­ly write reviews about dual stim­u­la­tors, but I made an excep­tion for the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples because I seri­ous­ly won­der whether humans actu­al­ly test­ed it. If you're some­one like me, who prefers deep, hard pen­e­tra­tion, you will absolute­ly despise this sex toy.

Someone who might enjoy the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples would fit the following description:

  • has a clit-vag gap of 1 inch
  • enjoys high-pitched inter­nal vibra­tions or none at all
  • likes slow sex (so that the toy doesn't get knocked out-of-place)

For just about any­one else, I'd rec­om­mend get­ting a Womanizer Starlet instead. It'll be more like­ly to work for you and you'll be much more com­fort­able. I don't even want to give any­one my extra Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples because I don't want to sub­ject peo­ple to it.

Disclaimer

I received this item from Satisfyer in exchange for my hon­est review. This toy sucked. In a bad way. And I'm not get­ting paid to say good things about this toy— I'm hon­est­ly try­ing to look out for my readers.

10 Responses

  1. Erin says:

    This is good to know! Great review.

  2. Denise Smith says:

    thanks for the review i thought about get­ting one so it is good to know more about this prod­uct before buying

  3. Kalliopeia says:

    Oh my lord that looks so pokey. Bad choices.

  4. Clara says:

    Oof. That looks painful. Thanks for the review!!

  5. Anna says:

    This just looks absolute­ly hor­ren­dous. I don't know how a suc­tion type toy could ever work as a couple's toy, honestly.

  6. Brooke says:

    Holy shit. I real­ly wish that I'd found this review before I wast­ed like fifty bucks on tor­tur­ing my del­i­cate bits with this hor­ren­dous gad­get. Don't get me wrong, I LUV the Satisfyer Pro 2. The first ver­sion was ok too but it's old­er sis­ter real­ly knows what she's doing, so I was all sorts of stoked to see this thing when I found it. However, hump­ing along with an out­board motor strapped to your ass would prob­a­bly be more grace­ful and roman­tic than that unwieldy beast. And yet I keep going back to it because this thing, the one MADE FOR cou­ples is about as much fun as a mutu­al trip to the ER, and could well be the impe­tus for one if cau­tion is thrown to the wind. "Pokey" pret­ty much sums it up, and that's not, like, pokey in a good way or any­thing of the sort. Ugh.

  7. G says:

    I think this was my favorite line: I’m not com­mit­ted to see­ing how dis­mal a sex toy could get.

  8. It looks almost painful! Glad it didn't leave you in scars! Why do we keep mak­ing toys intend­ed to hit mul­ti­ple body parts at once when all bod­ies are different?

  9. G says:

    It doesn't even look that good, it just looks like a boomerang.

  1. June 5, 2018

    […] have a habit of send­ing out tonnes of sex toys to blog­gers for a review. They are not demand­ing at all – they don’t even check up on […]

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