13+ Unique Sex Toys for the Collector Who Has Everything
I've tried over 350 sex toys, and yet, I still find wonder in Toyland. So many visuals can be made phallic if you're creative enough.
And with the evolution of soft clitoral grinding toys, the possibilities are even more expansive.
Here are 11 toys and accessories that take the "novelty" in "novelty toys" to a whole other level. Some of them are mostly aesthetic, while others balance form and function.
I'll also center Velvet Alley Designs a lot because they're a relatively new indie maker with some of the most creative dildo sculpts I've seen, and I adore the mystery boxes they sent me.
- I. Heartache — Dolly's Revenge by Velvet Alley Designs
- II. "Mouthing Off" Pushin' Cushion by Vixen Creations
- III. Legacy by Velvet Alley Designs
- IV. UV sanitizer pouch by b‑Vibe
- V. Sawback and Predator by Chaotic Kink
- VI. Meat Cleaver paddle by Glutton For Punishment Crafts
- VII. Hole Punch Toys Evolver
- VIII. Double-sided suction cups by Lust Arts
- IX. Craven by Velvet Alley Designs
- X. Bob the Alien by La Boutique Voila
- XI. Brainzzz and anatomical heart by Velvet Alley Designs
- XII. Pennywise by Velvet Alley Designs
Heartache - Dolly's Revenge by Velvet Alley Designs
A dildo featuring a knife stabbing an anatomical heart
The Heartache — Dolly's Revenge dildo makes perhaps the ultimate Anti-Valentine gift. The insertable portion is a stylized knife (think elephant tusk with a handle). And the base gets a 10/10 for flair with its customizable anatomical heart.
Have fun twisting the sharp edges against the front wall when it's deep inside. The outer curve also has notches, as if for fingers to hold onto, and a squared-off tip. It's not the right shape for my G‑spot, but my cervix loves the shallow curve and firmness.
The size that I have measures 6.9" insertable length and 1.6" diameter, just a little thicker than my first-ever dildo, and just as slick on the surface. If you love:
- Deep spot massage
- Defined planes and angles inside you
- A spooky aesthetic
… it's hard to go wrong with the Velvet Alley Heartache — Dolly's Revenge dildo. Dive deep in style.
Here's where to get the HEARTACHE — Dolly's Revenge dildo:
- Custom-made from Velvet Alley (choose your colors)
- Mystery box edition (comes with other goodies, too)
- Off-the-shelf from Spectrum Boutique
- Petite teenie-weenie version!
NOTE: the Spectrum Boutique version is squishier than the one I have. As well, the teeny-tiny one I have isn't the XS size, but an even smaller petite.
People always ask me if the small ones are for butt stuff. And, well, I got it just as a cute decoration. But it is butt-safe, and we're all adults here, so you do you.
"Mouthing Off" Pushin' Cushion by Vixen Creations
Everything reminds me of him…
We've seen soft vulva-grinding toys shaped like roses and labia and abstract landscapes, but there was bound to be one shaped like plush face lips. And I snatched up the Vixen Creations "Mouthing Off" Pushin' Cushion immediately because I must have a sex toy where I can pretend I'm riding a face. Just put it on a pillow and hump.
And it's thiiiiick and defined — the lips themselves are cartoon-like, seriously like 0.6" raised off the round backing. The edges enhance clitoral pressure with soooo little effort. And the base layer is another 0.4" deep. Laterally, the disc measures 3.5" in diameter, while the lips are 3.2" long by 2" wide.
The maker's intent was to stick the Pushin' Cushion to a flat-based dildo during strap-on play with a partner, though you can most certainly use it solo, as I do.
Vixen Creations' Pushin' Cushions are softer than Uberrime's and firmer than Pelle's. Here's how they measure on my Shore durometer, which senses hardness:
(Yeah, Pelle's silicone seriously doesn't even register. It's that soft.)
I like different things about each of them, though. The Uberrime Rosae's petals are better for direct but softly brushing clitoral contact, while the "Mouthin' Off" Pushin' Cushion's lips are for angling slightly to the side and massaging broadly across my vulva.
FURTHER READING: Rose Sex Toy Guide: Air Pulses, Colors, Variants, Plugs, and More!
Legacy by Velvet Alley Designs
A super customizable unicorn skull dildo — maybe for DP?!
The angle between the cranium and horn is easily squished — making this model a prime candidate for folding in half for double penetration.
If I were to get another one, I'd choose the regular (i.e. biggest) size and conquer it. The horn (about 6.6" long and 1.75" maximum diameter) would go in deep, while the rest of the skull stretches the mouth of my vagina.
UV sanitizer pouch by b-Vibe
Sanitizing silicone sex toys doesn't have to be a chore
While textured dildos can feel fan-fucking-tastic, they're notorious for their nooks and crannies. A soft-bristled toothbrush can buff away the encrusted vaginal secretions, but if you want a surer sense of cleanliness, some options include:
- Boiling your dildos for about 5 minutes
- A 10% diluted bleach solution, followed by soap, water, and thorough rinsing
- Running a dishwasher's sanitizing cycle
None of them are convenient when you're traveling or trying to be discreet, which is where UV‑C sterilizing lights can kick in. The radiation kills germs by damaging their genetic material.
b‑Vibe's lightweight UV sanitizer pouch encloses the rays inside a controlled chamber to clean your toys on the go. Its faux-leather construction fits toys up to 10" long and 3" wide but is also cute, compact, and convenient. It doesn't draw too much attention.
Sawback and Predator by Chaotic Kink
Acrylic blades for safer and more stylish knife play fantasies
Have you ever initiated sexting with, "If I pulled a (clearly fake) knife on you while we were alone, what would you do?"
No? Just me?
Well, if you've wanted to do a kidnapping, primal, or interrogation scene, Chaotic Kink's laser-cut acrylic blades are perfect for you. They offer a wide range of styles and themes:
…along with custom pieces. My personal favorite was the Cruciform blade style in a mirrored reflective acrylic, which I featured in my Midwest Murrikah giveaway in 2022. The forked tip on the Predator blade is fun for stroking the clit over the hood, too. There's something for every sadist's visual style at Chaotic Kink.
Meat Cleaver paddle by Glutton For Punishment Crafts
I'll quote the product info page: "Do you like serial killers? Are you a chef? Do you have an insane love for Sweeney Todd? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this paddle is for you."
This paddle is also laser-cut and engraved from acrylic, but xtra-thiiiiiccccc for heft and stability during light or moderate impact play. It measures about 14" long by 4" wide at the "blade," 1.4" wide at the handle, and almost a half-inch deep.
The one I got is blank, but you have some customization options for your meat cleaver paddle:
- Blood splatter blade
- Friday the 13th
- Your choice of text up to 16 characters
An old-school revolver gun dildo for kink play
I've reviewed the Hole Punch Toys Evolver before, so I'll just quote my past self here:
So much for trigger discipline.
This revolver dildo’s design features a 5.5” long barrel, G‑spotty tip, and — an unexpected perk — a trigger that can grind up against the clit for dual stimulation, depending on your anatomy.
I got a silicone corn dildo to clear concerns of agricultural pathogens or pesticides in my pussy. And the fully-silicone Hole Punch Evolver frees my mind of:
- Whether a gun is loaded
- Whether it’s pointed at anything I’d like to destroy
- Trigger discipline
- What’s behind my target
You get the idea. If you’re looking for a gunplay kink prop, the Hole Punch Evolver dildo might fit the bill.
[If] there’s less than 1 inch between your vaginal opening and clitoral glans … [y]ou’ll have an extra layer of appreciation for the Hole Punch Toys Evolver — moderately deep penetration and external grinding with one hand. It’s like hitting the “eject oxytocin” button repeatedly.
Double-sided suction cups by Lust Arts
Adapters to turn flat-based dildos into mountable ones
Stick these silicone double-sided suction cups to the wall or to a "Body Dock" style harness. There are other iterations of adapters and suction cups on the market, but the Lust Arts one is my favorite. I find it super sturdy compared to, say, the New York Toy Collective one.
Craven by Velvet Alley Designs
A dildo shaped like exaggerated vertebrae on a pelvis base
The Velvet Alley Craven spine-notched dildo features textures galore, both along the shaft and on the base. It measures about 6" long and 1.6" wide, and I chose the "just fuck my shit up" mystery box color option.
Since the shaft is mostly straight but forward-tilting and sliiiightly flexible, I can angle behind my cervix or push the horizontal notches against my G‑spot — but not both at the same time. Nevertheless, I'm cumming quickly.
At first, the tiny "hip bones" were too flexible to do much for my clit, but I've found a way to make this design work for me. I looove gripping my labia majora near the top to press along where the clitoral crura branch out. That's stimulating on its own, but it also pulls on my labia minora a little, leaving my clitoral glans easily accessible to bump and grind on the iliac crest's edge.
Bob the Alien by La Boutique Voila
I understand how people feel about the viral rose sex toy now. When I told a friend that I thought it was overrated, he objected, "It's cute, okay?!!"
Even though neither the rose clitoral suction toy nor the Bob the Alien are ground-breaking to me, it's a delight having a sex toy that's intense yet doesn't stand out as blatantly a sex toy.
Bob the Alien is firm, 2.1" thick across the head, front-loaded, G‑spotty, delivers a big stretch, cute AF, and discreet. It's compact, yet the sensations are huge for those who looooove off-label insertions and getting stuffed with girthquakes.
Brainzzz and anatomical heart by Velvet Alley Designs
More clitoral humpables!
The full Velvet Alley anatomical heart is life-sized, about the size of my fist. If we're including the aorta, superior vena cava, and pulmonary trunk, this fuckable measures about 3" wide by 6" long. There's 2" of depth to lower your weight on, making it essentially a massage ball for your vulva.
Personally, the Brainzzz half-brain grinder doesn't do much for me since the textures aren't quite the right balance of definition and pressure for me. But you might like it if you're one for firm and direct clitoral friction.
Where to get them:
- Velvet Alley clitoral grinders at Spectrum Boutique
- Brainzzz directly from the maker
- Anatomical heart directly from the maker
Pennywise by Velvet Alley Designs
Hella textured but (thankfully) way scaled down arm and fist dildo
This dildo modeled after Pennywise's arm and hand holding a balloon was… surprisingly pleasurable.
My friends' first impressions of it were:
- What the fuck is going on
- There's no way that actually feels good
- That's just for looks… right?
Nope. Despite this horror-inspired dildo being pretty much exactly on my threshold of creepiness tolerance, I like how it feels inside me.
I certainly admire the detailing. There's a lot going on — even an origami boat floating on a stylized puddle leading into the sewer grates. And the "glove" has stitching along a finger.
How the hayulllll could the Pennywise dildo actually feel good? It's all in how it aligns with my anatomy:
- The round "balloon" tip squishes nicely behind my cervix
- The knuckle definition on the "fist" pushes against my A‑spot
- There's a balance of firmness and flexibility.
- The highly ruffled sleeves line up with my G‑spot on the outstroke.
- I can rotate and twist it for more depth and different sensations on the front wall.
The Velvet Alley Pennywise dildo's base doesn't do much for me. Usually, an edge like that would be fun for hitting my clit, but this one isn't arranged at the optimal angle. It's also quite bendy; the base mainly serves as something to grab onto while thrusting.
Sinister? Yeah. But, to me, it's not as eerie as their Dr. Edgar dildo, for some reason. That one, I definitely told Velvet Alley not to make for me. Thank goodness you can customize your spooky mystery box.
I was pleasantly surprised by this addition to my Velvet Alley mystery box — like, shockingly so. Somehow, there are still dildos that manage to wow me after all these years of collecting.
PLEASURE PRINCESS. COMPACT, HIGH-CAPACITY HUMAN. CERVIX SORCERESS.
I've tested over 350 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A‑spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.
Mesmerizing mindfucking or physical fisting? Blowing men or minds? Opening books or legs? Why not all of the above?
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