9 Ways to Use a Wand Massager with a Partner

[Image: Cy Smash / the writer, a woman with red hair and pink lipstick wearing a blue bra and holding a Doxy Die Cast against her cheek]

Me hold­ing a sil­ver Doxy Die Cast — SUPER pow­er­ful wand — against my cheek

"I'm jeal­ous! Women get so many sex toys to choose from," lament­ed some guys in my life. But when I ask whether they've used a vibra­tor with a part­ner or for penile mas­tur­ba­tion, crick­ets chirp.

Here's the thing: sex toys aren't just for sin­gle women! For one, there are end­less ways to incor­po­rate toys into part­ner play. What's more…

Your options expand when you fully appreciate that a penis is a lot like a big clitoris!

Image: We-Vibe Wand with stroker attachment, Uberrime Aqua-King dildo, We-Vibe Chorus couples' vibe, and Sliquid Sassy lubricant

We-Vibe Wand / stro­ker attach­ment / Uberrime Aqua-King dil­doWe-Vibe Chorus hands-free cou­ples' vibra­tor / 2 oz. bot­tle of Sliquid Sassy lube

But because there's more sur­face area to stim­u­late on a penis, I think broad-headed wands are an excep­tion­al­ly under­rat­ed cat­e­go­ry of sex toys for men. One of my read­ers said using one is the clos­est he came (hah) to expe­ri­enc­ing the inten­si­ty of the female orgasm.

It doesn't mat­ter much what sets of gen­i­tals you have — if you want to use sex toys with a part­ner, there's some­thing on this list for you.

(NOTE: I'm a woman in a rela­tion­ship with a man. Probably not every­thing here applies to your sit­u­a­tion, but I wrote this post under the assump­tion that every­one has holes and exter­nal eroge­nous zones!)

1 Tease your partner while they're reading and watch them squirm

Books are always poten­tial­ly sexy to a nerd, but even more so when incor­po­rat­ing them into fore­play. I love see­ing my part­ner strug­gle to keep a straight face and steady voice while I use my wand on his penis. My favorite part? His utter shock when I turn up the wand's speed, and he didn't expect it. Bring on the pause, the plea­sured shud­der, and an unin­ten­tion­al­ly seduc­tive voice (and evil laugh­ter on my end).

2 Give a next-level blowjob by holding the wand against your cheek

Combine deep, thud­dy vibra­tions with your mouth's wet­ness and suc­tion. You can use any vibra­tor for this pur­pose, but the Magic Wand Plus or Doxy Die Cast's pow­er is ide­al. Alternatively, you could hold a vibra­tor against your partner's balls while suck­ing and stroking.

(The testes are sen­si­tive, though. So if you move the wand down to them, maybe do that part through your partner's under­wear or pants to reduce the inten­si­ty. Or pair your Hitachi Magic Wand with a light dimmer.)

3 Add penis stroker attachments for a surround sound experience

Using a wand mas­sager direct­ly on a penis feels fan­tas­tic. If you want vari­ety, though, there's a sig­nif­i­cant advan­tage to using a stro­ker wand attach­ment: you get to play around with a range of tex­tures and flut­tery sensations!

That could include squishy pock­et pussy-style sleeves, but you also don't have to lim­it your­self to loop attach­ments or vibra­tors that wrap around the penis. The bumps and waves on Le Wand's sil­i­cone tex­ture cov­ers add tac­tile stim­u­la­tion — unique­ly sen­su­al for the fine touch recep­tors in the frenu­lum and fore­skin.

4 Straddle with the wand in between; massage both partners!

I wish peo­ple would stop see­ing wand vibra­tors as "get­ting in the way" of a penis dur­ing part­ner play. Sometimes for my boyfriend and me, the wand is the part­ner play.

Looking into each other's eyes while the intense, oth­er­world­ly stim­u­lus syncs up for both of us? Watching your part­ner gasp and shake? What's not to love?

(On a seri­ous note, maybe you strug­gle with hold­ing your­self up while kneel­ing. If that's the case, con­sid­er a sex posi­tion­ing pil­low to sup­port you.)

5 Combine a compact mini-wand vibrator with penetration

I under­stand: when peo­ple think of "cou­ples' toys," they think of some­thing petite and "non-intrusive." A tra­di­tion­al Magic Wand head can be a vul­va hog and leave lit­tle room for a penis or big dil­do.

But you don't have to sac­ri­fice wand-level pow­er when hav­ing PIV sex. The Doxy Number 3 and 3 Rechargeable pack the strength of the Le Wand Rechargeable into a small­er head and more light­weight body.

6 Tie the magic wand to your partner for orgasm torture

Why stop at teas­ing? If your partner's into being forced to orgasm, again and again, strap a wand vibra­tor to their crotch. Watch them whim­per and beg for per­mis­sion to stop (or to come).

Crash Restraint has an excel­lent tuto­r­i­al for that — and all you need is a wand and some (prefer­ably com­fort­able) rope. The title says "Hitachi Magic Wand," but you can, of course, apply the prin­ci­ples to any stan­dard size wand mas­sager. My Doxy Die Cast is my favorite and most pow­er­ful wand, so at least con­sid­er it. 😉

7 Insert a wand vibrator head as a warmup to fisting

[Image: Mr. Hankey's Toys Topher Michels HUGE silicone dildo next to my fist and We-Vibe Wand]

Topher Michels by Mr. Hankey's Toys, my fist, We-Vibe Wand

If you love big inser­tions and want­ed to put a wand vibra­tor inside you, that's an option! For safe­ty rea­sons, it's best to pick a water­proof wand.

The BMS Factory Swan Wand com­bines a girthy, G‑spotty swell with Hitachi-level vibra­tions. And if you already have a We-Vibe Wand, you know that its head is more elon­gat­ed and grad­ual than the Magic Wand's — mak­ing We-Vibe's ver­sion a great can­di­date to insert vaginally.

8 Connect the wand to a remote control app for long-distance play

Even if you're social dis­tanc­ing or in a long-distance rela­tion­ship, you can still have fun with wand vibra­tors. The We-Vibe Wand and Lovense Domi both con­nect to smart­phones via Bluetooth and can be con­trolled by a part­ner from afar. (As can many oth­er We-Vibe toys — I'm par­tial to the Melt air pulse toy's strength.)

9 Combine a wand with butt attachments for extra-rumbly vibrations!

9 Ways to Use a Wand Massager with a Partner 1

Wand Essentials Strap Cap attachment

Since every­one has a butt, they could poten­tial­ly enjoy pen­e­tra­tion with a vibrat­ing dil­do. With the right attach­ment, you can con­vert your wand into one!

There are pre-made insertable wand acces­sories, but for even more ver­sa­til­i­ty, get a Strap Cap — a sil­i­cone wand cap but with three holes (1", 1.25", 1.5" diam­e­ter) to hold your favorite har­ness­able dil­dos.

Consider some of the slim and squishy dil­dos from my begin­ner butt stuff guide, such as the fol­low­ing from Blush Novelties:

Let's wrap it up!

[Image: silver Doxy Die Cast, Magic Wand Original, Blush Noje W4 mini-wand, Magic Wand Plus, BMS Pillow Talk Cheeky, BMS Swan Wand, We-Vibe Wand, BMS Palmpower Extreme]

Wands are way more ver­sa­tile than peo­ple give them cred­it for. Whether you have a penis or a vul­va, get­ting a mas­sager like the Doxy Die Cast or Magic Wand Plus is a sol­id invest­ment for solo play and part­ner play.

What are your favorite ways to use a wand with a partner?

Heads up! This post was spon­sored. Opinions expressed are my own, as always.

Want to spon­sor a post? Get in touch via the con­tact form on my poli­cies page or email super­s­mash­cache [at] gmail [dot] com

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