Mastering the G-Spot's Mystique (To Unlock More Elation!)


A dil­do tilt­ed just right can be starry-​eye-​inducing — and fin­ger flex­ing goes a long way in plea­sure if you know where to aim!

Mastering the G-Spot's Mystique (To Unlock More Elation!) 1

This post focus­es on one of the shal­low­est of the inter­nal eroge­nous zones— and per­haps most pop­u­lar: the G‑spot.

G is for Gräfenberg here. Sexologist and physi­cian Ernst Gräfenberg described in the 1950s:

An erot­ic zone always could be demon­strat­ed on the ante­ri­or [or front] wall of the vagi­na along the course of the urethra.

While I don't agree that it's always an erot­ic zone for every­body with a vagi­na — and we'll get into that — the rest of that state­ment sums up where to start seek­ing some stel­lar sensations.

I almost said "with­in sec­onds" to fur­ther the allit­er­a­tion. Indeed, I can often have "wham-​bam," shak­ing and gasp­ing orgasms with­in sec­onds using a stain­less steel dil­do.

However, as always with sex­u­al­i­ty, dif­fer­ent peo­ple have dif­fer­ent plea­sure pref­er­ences. G‑spot stim­u­la­tion is just one glo­ri­ous option among many!

Bent fingers with hybrid water and silicone lube

I'll share my per­son­al expe­ri­ences and thoughts on the following:

  • What advice for find­ing the G‑spot failed me — and what worked instead
  •  What G‑spot toys I love the most — and what might be a bet­ter fit for oth­er people
  •  Why I don't both­er read­ing arti­cles debat­ing the G‑spot's exis­tence anymore
  •  What I wish my past self knew about G‑spot stim­u­la­tion and squirting

Ready? Let's dive in and demys­ti­fy the G‑spot!

How to Find the G-Spot

Deep Is the G‑Spot Inside the Vagina?

MISCONCEPTION: The G‑spot is 3–4 inch­es inside.

THE NUANCE: Every body is dif­fer­ent, so it's 4 inch­es in for some peo­ple and 1 inch in for others.

The advice to seek 3–4 inch­es in led me away from my G‑spot.

My first G‑spot toy was a bent glass dil­do, which I didn't know how to aim cor­rect­ly because of all the advice say­ing to go 4‑ish inch­es in. A few months lat­er, a part­ner found it while fin­ger­ing, and a puz­zle piece clicked into place:

Don't think of the G‑spot as any set num­ber of inch­es inside; think of it in rela­tion to anatom­i­cal structures:

  • Follow the pubic bone on the front wall
  • Feel the ridg­ing of the ure­thral sponge and where it ends

Finding the G‑Spot With Fingers vs. Toys

Find the G‑spot by insert­ing your fin­gers, bend­ing them back and forth, and feel­ing around on the front vagi­nal wall:

  1. On the pubic bone's pro­tru­sion, where there's more texture
  2. Along where the bone dips and recedes — pay spe­cial atten­tion to this area and real­ly dig in to apply extra pressure!
  3. Just slight­ly past it, where it's smoother

Boop. Watch for a reac­tion to see if you or your part­ner likes mas­sage in that gen­er­al vicin­i­ty. Exactly which point works best varies from per­son to per­son — some like it on the bone, some love that dip, and some want TLC a lit­tle deep­er in.

The video fol­low­ing goes over a few oth­er hot spots, but notice how steeply my dig­its are curved to demon­strate a G‑spot stim­u­lat­ing tech­nique with 3 fingers.

If you're using a dil­do, anoth­er option is to try pulling rather than just pushing:

  • Insert the toy at least halfway in — but do more if you can
  • Clench your walls a little
  • Tilt the toy's head toward your front vagi­nal wall (ventral/​belly but­ton side)
  • Pull on the toy until you feel it slow­ing down due to resis­tance against the pubic bone
  • Aim on the front wall in this area (again, just slight­ly past where the bone dips and recedes is key!)
  • Focus on both the push­ing "in" and pulling "out" strokes

In oth­er words, get­ting to know the con­tours of your pubic bone — from inside the vagi­nal canal — is key to find­ing the G‑spot.

For me per­son­al­ly, the hot spot was rel­a­tive­ly shal­low — maybe an inch-​and-​a-​half inside. The njoy Pure Wand digs right into it. Pulling makes it easy to find the G‑spot, while push­ing makes it easy to lever­age the sen­sa­tions for orgas­mic effects.

Hardcore G‑Spotting Dildos I Love!

My front wall is super sen­si­tive both on the pubic bone and in the lit­tle dip where it recedes — mean­ing that my favorite kinds of G‑spotting heads tend to be round­ed to nes­tle along that curve.

Mastering the G-Spot's Mystique (To Unlock More Elation!) 2

A Pure Wand-like met­al dil­do was an ear­ly option I tried, which I loooooved! It dug right into my G‑spot with unpar­al­leled inten­si­ty. Of course, njoy's Eleven is my one true love for all of my inter­nal hot spots — if I could have one dil­do, it would be the Eleven — but its price tag and sheer size make it a hefty gam­ble for a G‑spot beginner.

Certain sil­i­cone or glass dil­dos can serve as afford­able all-​arounders, with round­ed bulbs for G‑spotty shal­low pen­e­tra­tion and long shafts for going deep­er behind my cervix. Check out the following:

More lux­u­ri­ous G‑spot toys that give me "wham-​bam" orgasms from pen­e­tra­tion include:

The Uberrime Aptus silicone realistic dildo and L'Acier Capo stainless steel dildo both have that lovely, lovely cervix-massaging tilt.
The Uberrime Aptus is dreamy for A‑spotting, while L'Acier's Capo dil­do is great for both G‑spot and A‑spot stimulation!

What G‑Spot Toys Might Someone Else Like?

If the glass is way too intense for your taste, you could try a flex­i­ble sil­i­cone dil­do with a for­ward curve and defined mush­room head, such as:

Their bendi­ness is a bit gen­tle for my tastes — which might make them an excel­lent fit for you!

Mastering the G-Spot's Mystique (To Unlock More Elation!) 3
BMS Pillow Talk Cheeky wand next to Sassy G‑spot vibrator

Users built dif­fer­ent­ly than me might also want less pubic bone pres­sure and go a lit­tle fur­ther in on the front wall. The fol­low­ing types of G‑spotting heads work well for oth­ers but not for me:

  • Steeply curved G‑spot vibra­tors with flat, squared-​off heads (Blush Wellness G Ball, LELO Ella)
  •  The stan­dard vibrat­ing egg-​on-​a-​stick type of plas­tic toy
  •  G‑spotting shafts with grad­ual straight taper­ing (Je Joue Uma, thin end of the Desirables Dalia)

They just don't fit my anato­my. And that's okay; it's ter­rif­ic hav­ing options for every body.

What Are the Best Positions for G-Spotting?

MISCONCEPTION: Doggy style and mis­sion­ary with hips ele­vat­ed and legs pulled to the chest are great posi­tions for G‑spotting dur­ing intercourse.

THE NUANCE: While these posi­tions work for this par­tic­u­lar eroge­nous zone for many peo­ple, IT'S OKAY if you can't get much G‑spot stim­u­la­tion through intercourse!

Hardly ANY of the often-​cited G‑spotting posi­tions work for me; the only one that con­sis­tent­ly would is me rid­ing while lean­ing waaaaaay back, doing lit­tle more than tip drilling. Generally, sex posi­tions with the recep­tive part­ner on top mean they have the most con­trol over the pen­e­tra­tion angle.

Personally, though, my G‑spot is rel­a­tive­ly shal­low, so I don't both­er with it dur­ing inter­course. Meanwhile, fin­gers and some toy shapes (described above) hook into it eas­i­ly for me. Your mileage may vary.

Beyond action­able advice, I also have thoughts on how the media and mar­ket­ing machines tend to frame the G‑spot.

Are Squirting and G-Spotting the Same? No.

MISCONCEPTION: G‑spot orgasms and squirt­ing are the same thing.

THE NUANCE: Nope. Every body is dif­fer­ent. Do you see a pat­tern here?

Some peo­ple can have G‑spot orgasms with­out squirt­ing (I fre­quent­ly do), and some can squirt with­out G‑spot stim­u­la­tion.

Many vul­va own­ers need intense, direct cli­toral stim­u­la­tion to squirt and to have orgasms regardless.

Does the G-Spot Exist? Yes.

It would be awk­ward if not, and you read this far through my post. I want­ed to focus on the fun first — prac­ti­cal plea­sure tips before the nitty-​gritty discourse!

MISCONCEPTION: The G‑spot doesn't exist, mean­ing you shouldn't both­er with it.

THE NUANCE: The eroge­nous zone is acces­si­ble to many peo­ple, but not every­one wants to call it that. It's most­ly semantics.

Opponents of the label "G‑spot," might argue:

  1. The G‑spot is not an inde­pen­dent bio­log­i­cal structure.
  2.  Calling it a "spot" implies a dis­tinct, one-​size-​fits-​all location.
  3.  People knew about it before Ernst Gräfenberg pop­u­lar­ized it, so how much sense does it make to call it G for Gräfenberg?
  4.  Much of G‑spot stim­u­la­tion is play­ing with the cli­toris from the inside; call­ing the G‑spot a sep­a­rate zone is dis­re­spect­ful to the full pow­er of the clitoris.
  5.  Overemphasizing the G‑spot can make women feel inad­e­quate if they don't like hav­ing their cli­toris touched inter­nal­ly via the front wall.

At the same time, I don't think it's con­struc­tive to con­flate points 1, 2, 4, and 5 with "It doesn't exist." Many peo­ple are sen­si­tive there, regard­less of what you want to call it. And I'm going to keep hav­ing very real, big, bold, boda­cious orgasms from stim­u­lat­ing this area — regard­less of pedan­tic seman­tics.

Ultimately, "G‑spot" is just a slang term for where it's the eas­i­est to reach the heav­i­ly inner­vat­ed ure­thral sponge and inter­nal cli­toris. I think it's okay to say "CUV (cli­tourethral vagi­nal) com­plex" in clin­i­cal set­tings but "G‑spot" in every­day life.

Are Blended G-Spot Orgasms the Ultimate? No.

MISCONCEPTION: Blended orgasms with G‑spot and cli­toral stim­u­la­tion are the most intense a vagi­na can experience.

THE NUANCE: They might be for some peo­ple, and I love that for them! For oth­ers who don't feel the same way, there are oth­er path­ways to pen­e­tra­tive plea­sure. I find that, while blend­ed G‑spot and cli­toral orgasms are fan­tas­tic, I'm most sat­is­fied and feel my most exhil­a­rat­ing, full-​bodied orgasms when mas­sag­ing my cervix.

All of the fol­low­ing can be true at the same time:

  • Every body is dif­fer­ent, mean­ing that some peo­ple just don't enjoy pen­e­tra­tion or G‑spot mas­sage, and that's total­ly valid.
  •  Many peo­ple are sen­si­tive to touch on the front wall of the vagi­nal canal — regard­less of whether you call it the G‑spot or the CUV complex.
  •  Pleasure pref­er­ences are not set in stone, so you might think G‑spot stim­u­la­tion is okay in one phase of your life and loooove it in another!

I have found that my recep­tiv­i­ty to plea­sure increased over time, and nowa­days, I can often have orgasms more quick­ly through pen­e­tra­tion and G‑spot mas­sage than exter­nal stim­u­la­tion alone. That's just me, though.

You do you — whether that means touch­ing your clit, your G‑spot, or your cervix. At the end of the day, end­less forms of erot­ic ecsta­sy are cel­e­brat­ed here.

Mastering the G-Spot's Mystique (To Unlock More Elation!) 4

Shop My Favorite G-Spot Sex Toys

I'll recap some toys I men­tioned ear­li­er — and where to get them:

Top luxury picks
Mid-​priced but still hardcore
  • njoy Pure Wand — very "wham-​bam" — apol­o­gize in advance for the scream­ing. Or don't.
  • Pipedream's Icicles 70 — beau­ti­ful blue with ver­sa­til­i­ty for intense G‑spotting and A‑spotting
  • Shots' Chrystalino Champ — also beau­ti­ful blue, nice for shal­low and deep penetration
  • Tantus Tsunami — stim­u­late mul­ti­ple inter­nal hot spots at once if you can take it all the way
Slightly softer
  • BMS Factory Pillow Talk Sassy — super pow­er­ful and rumbly G‑spot vibra­tor with flex­i­ble neck
  • Tantus's Sport — firm and glossy sil­i­cone with a bul­bous head but flex­i­ble shaft
  • Uberrime's Praesto — just a good but bendy begin­ner basic for those new to toys but not to penetration

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