Mastering the G-Spot's Mystique (To Unlock More Elation!)
MORE NUANCED WAYS TO UNDERSTAND (AND HAVE FUN WITH) THE G‑SPOT
A dildo tilted just right can be starry-eye-inducing — and finger flexing goes a long way in pleasure if you know where to aim!
This post focuses on one of the shallowest of the internal erogenous zones— and perhaps most popular: the G‑spot.
G is for Gräfenberg here. Sexologist and physician Ernst Gräfenberg described in the 1950s:
An erotic zone always could be demonstrated on the anterior [or front] wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra.
While I don't agree that it's always an erotic zone for everybody with a vagina — and we'll get into that — the rest of that statement sums up where to start seeking some stellar sensations.
I almost said "within seconds" to further the alliteration. Indeed, I can often have "wham-bam," shaking and gasping orgasms within seconds using a stainless steel dildo.
However, as always with sexuality, different people have different pleasure preferences. G‑spot stimulation is just one glorious option among many!
I'll share my personal experiences and thoughts on the following:
- What advice for finding the G‑spot failed me — and what worked instead
- What G‑spot toys I love the most — and what might be a better fit for other people
- Why I don't bother reading articles debating the G‑spot's existence anymore
- What I wish my past self knew about G‑spot stimulation and squirting
Ready? Let's dive in and demystify the G‑spot!
- I. How to Find the G‑Spot
- II. What Are the Best Positions for G‑Spotting?
- III. Are Squirting and G‑Spotting the Same? No.
- IV. Does the G‑Spot Exist? Yes.
- V. Are Blended G‑Spot Orgasms the Ultimate? No.
- VI. Shop My Favorite G‑Spot Sex Toys
How to Find the G-Spot
Deep Is the G‑Spot Inside the Vagina?
MISCONCEPTION: The G‑spot is 3–4 inches inside.
THE NUANCE: Every body is different, so it's 4 inches in for some people and 1 inch in for others.
The advice to seek 3–4 inches in led me away from my G‑spot.
My first G‑spot toy was a bent glass dildo, which I didn't know how to aim correctly because of all the advice saying to go 4‑ish inches in. A few months later, a partner found it while fingering, and a puzzle piece clicked into place:
Don't think of the G‑spot as any set number of inches inside; think of it in relation to anatomical structures:
- Follow the pubic bone on the front wall
- Feel the ridging of the urethral sponge and where it ends
Finding the G‑Spot With Fingers vs. Toys
Find the G‑spot by inserting your fingers, bending them back and forth, and feeling around on the front vaginal wall:
- On the pubic bone's protrusion, where there's more texture
- Along where the bone dips and recedes — pay special attention to this area and really dig in to apply extra pressure!
- Just slightly past it, where it's smoother
Boop. Watch for a reaction to see if you or your partner likes massage in that general vicinity. Exactly which point works best varies from person to person — some like it on the bone, some love that dip, and some want TLC a little deeper in.
The video following goes over a few other hot spots, but notice how steeply my digits are curved to demonstrate a G‑spot stimulating technique with 3 fingers.
If you're using a dildo, another option is to try pulling rather than just pushing:
- Insert the toy at least halfway in — but do more if you can
- Clench your walls a little
- Tilt the toy's head toward your front vaginal wall (ventral/belly button side)
- Pull on the toy until you feel it slowing down due to resistance against the pubic bone
- Aim on the front wall in this area (again, just slightly past where the bone dips and recedes is key!)
- Focus on both the pushing "in" and pulling "out" strokes
In other words, getting to know the contours of your pubic bone — from inside the vaginal canal — is key to finding the G‑spot.
For me personally, the hot spot was relatively shallow — maybe an inch-and-a-half inside. The njoy Pure Wand digs right into it. Pulling makes it easy to find the G‑spot, while pushing makes it easy to leverage the sensations for orgasmic effects.
Hardcore G‑Spotting Dildos I Love!
My front wall is super sensitive both on the pubic bone and in the little dip where it recedes — meaning that my favorite kinds of G‑spotting heads tend to be rounded to nestle along that curve.
A Pure Wand-like metal dildo was an early option I tried, which I loooooved! It dug right into my G‑spot with unparalleled intensity. Of course, njoy's Eleven is my one true love for all of my internal hot spots — if I could have one dildo, it would be the Eleven — but its price tag and sheer size make it a hefty gamble for a G‑spot beginner.
Certain silicone or glass dildos can serve as affordable all-arounders, with rounded bulbs for G‑spotty shallow penetration and long shafts for going deeper behind my cervix. Check out the following:
More luxurious G‑spot toys that give me "wham-bam" orgasms from penetration include:
- Velvet Thruster's Prime Nanci and Teddy GS (duh, I designed the head shapes)
- Je Joue's G‑Kii rumbly AF G‑spot vibrator
- Capo by L'Acier
What G‑Spot Toys Might Someone Else Like?
If the glass is way too intense for your taste, you could try a flexible silicone dildo with a forward curve and defined mushroom head, such as:
Their bendiness is a bit gentle for my tastes — which might make them an excellent fit for you!
Users built differently than me might also want less pubic bone pressure and go a little further in on the front wall. The following types of G‑spotting heads work well for others but not for me:
- Steeply curved G‑spot vibrators with flat, squared-off heads (Blush Wellness G Ball, LELO Ella)
- The standard vibrating egg-on-a-stick type of plastic toy
- G‑spotting shafts with gradual straight tapering (Je Joue Uma, thin end of the Desirables Dalia)
They just don't fit my anatomy. And that's okay; it's terrific having options for every body.
What Are the Best Positions for G-Spotting?
MISCONCEPTION: Doggy style and missionary with hips elevated and legs pulled to the chest are great positions for G‑spotting during intercourse.
THE NUANCE: While these positions work for this particular erogenous zone for many people, IT'S OKAY if you can't get much G‑spot stimulation through intercourse!
Hardly ANY of the often-cited G‑spotting positions work for me; the only one that consistently would is me riding while leaning waaaaaay back, doing little more than tip drilling. Generally, sex positions with the receptive partner on top mean they have the most control over the penetration angle.
Personally, though, my G‑spot is relatively shallow, so I don't bother with it during intercourse. Meanwhile, fingers and some toy shapes (described above) hook into it easily for me. Your mileage may vary.
Beyond actionable advice, I also have thoughts on how the media and marketing machines tend to frame the G‑spot.
Are Squirting and G-Spotting the Same? No.
MISCONCEPTION: G‑spot orgasms and squirting are the same thing.
THE NUANCE: Nope. Every body is different. Do you see a pattern here?
Some people can have G‑spot orgasms without squirting (I frequently do), and some can squirt without G‑spot stimulation.
Many vulva owners need intense, direct clitoral stimulation to squirt and to have orgasms regardless.
Does the G-Spot Exist? Yes.
It would be awkward if not, and you read this far through my post. I wanted to focus on the fun first — practical pleasure tips before the nitty-gritty discourse!
MISCONCEPTION: The G‑spot doesn't exist, meaning you shouldn't bother with it.
THE NUANCE: The erogenous zone is accessible to many people, but not everyone wants to call it that. It's mostly semantics.
Opponents of the label "G‑spot," might argue:
- The G‑spot is not an independent biological structure.
- Calling it a "spot" implies a distinct, one-size-fits-all location.
- People knew about it before Ernst Gräfenberg popularized it, so how much sense does it make to call it G for Gräfenberg?
- Much of G‑spot stimulation is playing with the clitoris from the inside; calling the G‑spot a separate zone is disrespectful to the full power of the clitoris.
- Overemphasizing the G‑spot can make women feel inadequate if they don't like having their clitoris touched internally via the front wall.
At the same time, I don't think it's constructive to conflate points 1, 2, 4, and 5 with "It doesn't exist." Many people are sensitive there, regardless of what you want to call it. And I'm going to keep having very real, big, bold, bodacious orgasms from stimulating this area — regardless of pedantic semantics.
Ultimately, "G‑spot" is just a slang term for where it's the easiest to reach the heavily innervated urethral sponge and internal clitoris. I think it's okay to say "CUV (clitourethral vaginal) complex" in clinical settings but "G‑spot" in everyday life.
Are Blended G-Spot Orgasms the Ultimate? No.
MISCONCEPTION: Blended orgasms with G‑spot and clitoral stimulation are the most intense a vagina can experience.
THE NUANCE: They might be for some people, and I love that for them! For others who don't feel the same way, there are other pathways to penetrative pleasure. I find that, while blended G‑spot and clitoral orgasms are fantastic, I'm most satisfied and feel my most exhilarating, full-bodied orgasms when massaging my cervix.
All of the following can be true at the same time:
- Every body is different, meaning that some people just don't enjoy penetration or G‑spot massage, and that's totally valid.
- Many people are sensitive to touch on the front wall of the vaginal canal — regardless of whether you call it the G‑spot or the CUV complex.
- Pleasure preferences are not set in stone, so you might think G‑spot stimulation is okay in one phase of your life and loooove it in another!
I have found that my receptivity to pleasure increased over time, and nowadays, I can often have orgasms more quickly through penetration and G‑spot massage than external stimulation alone. That's just me, though.
Shop My Favorite G-Spot Sex Toys
I'll recap some toys I mentioned earlier — and where to get them:
Top luxury picks
- Velvet Thruster's Prime Nanci and Teddy GS — among the sharpest, most intense G‑spot thrusters
- Je Joue's G‑Kii rumbly AF G‑spot vibrator — my screaming sounded like I was getting stabbed
- L'Acier Capo — moderately G‑spotty but feels great for deeper penetration, too
Mid-priced but still hardcore
- njoy Pure Wand — very "wham-bam" — apologize in advance for the screaming. Or don't.
- Pipedream's Icicles 70 — beautiful blue with versatility for intense G‑spotting and A‑spotting
- Shots' Chrystalino Champ — also beautiful blue, nice for shallow and deep penetration
- Tantus Tsunami — stimulate multiple internal hot spots at once if you can take it all the way
- BMS Factory Pillow Talk Sassy — super powerful and rumbly G‑spot vibrator with flexible neck
- Tantus's Sport — firm and glossy silicone with a bulbous head but flexible shaft
- Uberrime's Praesto — just a good but bendy beginner basic for those new to toys but not to penetration
PLEASURE PRINCESS. COMPACT, HIGH-CAPACITY HUMAN. CERVIX SORCERESS.
I've tested over 350 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A‑spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.
Mesmerizing mindfucking or physical fisting? Blowing men or minds? Opening books or legs? Why not all of the above?
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