Je Joue G-Kii ULTIMATE G-SPOT VIBRATOR REVIEW

“You sound like you’re getting stabbed,” a friend replied when I sent him a voice recording of me using the Je Joue G-Kii.

Another said, “If I didn’t already know you, I’d be worried.”

If someone’s impression of my review is, “My brother in Christ, this girl’s libido is disgusting,” or at least, “Are you okay, dude?” I’ll have done my job right.

My face displays three modes while using the Je Joue G-Kii:

• Eyes wide open
• Eyes glazed over
• Eyes rolled back

The Je Joue G-Kii is the ultimate rumbly G-spot vibrator for my body. All others can go home.

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Plenty of toys and fantasies can make me pant with my mouth open (thank my ex, who was really into ahegao). Not many can make me SCREAM with my tongue sticking out.

And it’s even rarer with shallow insertables; my orgasms with the BMS Pillow Talk Sassy don’t come close. And that’s because, while the Sassy is more filling and has stronger vibrations, the Je Joue G-Kii offers a steep bend and rigid core.

It’s so easily curved into the perfect position. Beyond that, it doesn’t need to be a behemoth.

Je Joue G-Kii G-spot vibrator measurements

Here’s how the Je Joue G-Kii literally measures up:

• 1.35” maximum diameter
• 1.00” minimum diameter
• 7” when measured straight line from end to end

It’s waterproof and covered in silicone almost all the way down the shaft, so you could put the entire thing in. You’ll more than likely use just the tip, though.

Even with just 3” of the G-Kii inserted, my G-spot has been beaten into submission. That’s in part due to the lockable hinge. It allows you to adjust the curvature at the touch of a button for multiple ways to play:

• A (relatively) shallow bend for longer thrusts or just clitoral stimulation
• A mid-tier C-curve for focused G-spotting
• A tight OMFG curve that IS NOT FUCKING AROUND

Downsides to the Je Joue G-Kii

The G-Kii’s steepness isn’t for everybody, even at its mildest locking curve. If you need something more gentle that won’t hook on your pubic bone, steer clear.

There are three design flaws to the G-Kii. I’m willing to live with them:

1. You have to be reaaaaally careful not to push the joint hard while the button isn’t pressed. Be gentle when adjusting it.
2. The external motor doesn’t do much for me since it’s flat, and there’s no convexity to grind my clit against.
3. The buttons are stiff and not the easiest to press.

That point about the buttons was apparent in one of my voice notes, transcribed in the next section.

How the best G-spot vibrator* feels in use

*for my body

“And I have just adjusted it to its steepest curve. This is going to be so effortless. (giggle) I’m going to turn the vibration speed all the way up, too. (pause) OooOh! (giggle)”

I could hear the immediate shock in my voice before adding, “That time, the button press definitely went through,” and laughing.

Then I started thrusting and said a string of the following:

• “Okay”
• Two soft “oh my god, oh my god, oh –”
• Sudden screaming.
• Continued screaming combinations of “oh my god,” “fuck,” and AAAA, aaaa, and aAaAaAAA!!!!!!

The thing about female orgasms is that you can have another and another. So every time the climax resolved, I asked myself, could it possibly be that good? And then I gave myself not even 10 seconds of thrusting before going into full feral mode again.

Je Joue G-Kii vibration sensation

As with the Je Joue Uma, the G-Kii’s vibrations took the experience to another level.

They’re consistently rumbly and low-frequency, literally sub-bass at the lowest intensity:

• 50 to 90 Hz on the G-spot motor
• 59 to 129 Hz on the clitoral one
• 5 intensities, plus 7 pulse options
• And yes,  you can turn off the motor in the handle if you’d rather not use it

I spoke up, even though my voice shook when I dared to say, “Between the curve and the vibrations, this is near Pure Wand level.”

The main difference? With the Pure Wand, I’m pretty much mostly one-and-done. With the G-Kii, I can keep going.

Closing thoughts on the G-Kii

I contemplated posting a glazed-eye selfie in bed with the Je Joue G-Kii held next to my face. Then I Tweeted the following:

It’s 1:47 PM. I’m finally getting around to eating after testing the G-spot vibrator that ruined all other G-spot vibrators for me.

I definitely should have eaten something. What I actually did was:

• Send naughty friends photos of the gush puddle on my bed
• Type my thoughts and feelings while they were still fresh
• Think about all the impending edits to my “Essential Readings” list because, hooh, my standards for G-spot vibrators have been fucking shattered.