10 Things I Used For Strap-On Play + Pegging: Temptasia Underwear Harness, Avant P3 / D15, & more!

[Image: KinkNerdToys rug beater-style paddle with Blush Avant Pride P3 Beauty/Lesbian Pride dildo, Avant D15 pastel striped silicone dildo, Hodge Podge Entourage Alraune, and Blush Novelties Temptasia underwear strap-on harness]

"Wow, you're real­ly good at that," my boyfriend said after I pegged him for the first time.

"Maybe it's because I'm using a nice [strap-on] har­ness for the job."

"Or maybe you're just good at it!"

I had pegged some­one once before, yeaarrs ago, but it was at a par­ty where I took turns with a friend of a friend. With my boyfriend, it was my first time with the entire process from start to finish.

If you're ner­vous about peg­ging or unsure because it's unchart­ed ter­ri­to­ry, that's okay!

Here are some tools and tips for having a fantastic time fucking your partner with a strap-on.

[Image: Blush Novelties Avant Pride P3 Beauty/Lesbian Pride striped dildo with MANY bottles of different sizes of Sliquid Sassy with pink label, plus Mean Girls Burn Book journal and bottle of candy sprinkles for decoration]

Heads up: Most of the prod­uct links in this post lead to Peepshow Toys. They're affil­i­ate links — if you clear your cook­ies before click­ing and buy­ing, I receive a com­mis­sion at no extra cost to you.

Save 10% off your entire order at Peepshow Toys when you use dis­count code SUPERSMASHCACHE


Setting the scene for butt stuff

1 Liberator Fascinator Velvish Throw — absorbent sex towel

[Image: Liberator Fascinator Throe Velvish Throw in red / burgundy / merlot]

The Liberator Throe is stur­dy and water­proof; think of a tarp, but more luxe and absorbent. Sex geeks most­ly call it "The Squirt Blanket" — but it's also a sen­su­al way to keep your play space clean dur­ing anal sex!

Even if your or your partner's holes are super well-cleaned, there may be much lube sloshed around. Or maybe you want to wipe some excess off your fin­gers and toys.

Either way, you can quick­ly throw your Liberator Throe in the wash afterward.

? Related read­ing: How to Have Clean Anal Sex

2 Dame Products Pillo — sex positioning cushion

The Dame Pillo is anoth­er addi­tion that can make a big dif­fer­ence in com­fort­able posi­tion­ing for peg­ging and beyond.

[Image: Dame Products Pillo indigo next to vase of faux white lilies]

Use a ramped sex cush­ion to ele­vate the receiv­ing partner's hips for eas­i­er aim­ing dur­ing mis­sion­ary or pro­vide extra sup­port for the part­ner rid­ing on top. It also makes for less neck cramp­ing oral sex, espe­cial­ly dur­ing cun­nilin­gus or rimming.

? Related read­ing: 5 Easy Ways to Have Better Sex


Warming up to anal sex

3 Sliquid Sassy lube — perfect for anal play!

Sliquid Sassy is one of the brand's thick­er for­mu­las, with no sil­i­cone and no Yucky Stuff (think petro­chem­i­cals). There's a good rea­son I have back­ups upon back­ups of it!

[Image: the Blush Novelties Avant Pride P3 Lesbian Pride flag striped dildo's modest size makes it a GREAT option for strap-on play! And use ample lube, as always]

4 B‑vibe lube launcher (syringe-style applicator)

Use a lube launch­er to apply LOTS of lube inter­nal­ly before­hand — and quickly:

  • Fill it up (but not all the way)
  • Connect the piston/plunger
  • Lube the out­side of the applicator
  • Insert. Squeeze like a syringe.

Voilà! Your hole is ready to start (with the small­est toy or a fin­ger first, of course)!

? The appli­ca­tor I used came as part of the b‑Vibe Anal Training & Education Kit, but you can also get a set of just lube launch­ers.

5 Blush Wellness Dilator Kit for butt stuff warm-up

Dilator kits are high­ly under­rat­ed tools for anal train­ing! While you can thrust butt plugs, they're most­ly for sta­tion­ary and pas­sive stretching/relaxation. Soft sil­i­cone dila­tors work well as slen­der dil­dos so that you can get used to motion and depth, too.

The Wellness Dilator Kit comes with four sizes: 
  1. 3.5" length x 0.5" width
  2. 4.75" length x 0.75" width
  3. 5.5" length x 1" width
  4. 6" length x 1.25" width

My boyfriend and I used sizes 1, 2, and 3 to warm up his hole before I strapped on the Blush Avant D15 striped sil­i­cone dildo.

Related read­ing: Choosing the Best Anal Toys (for Beginner & Intermediate Play)


Pegging playtime!

6 – Blush Avant D15 / P3 Vision of Love striped dildo

[Image: Blush Avant Pride P3 next to Avant D15 and an assortment of bullets, like the We-Vibe Tango, Blush Exposed Nocturnal, Maia Jessi, Je Joue classic bullet, BMS Mini Swan Rose, and We-Vibe Moxie]

If the Blush Novelties Avant D15 looks famil­iar, there's a good rea­son. It's sculpt­ed from the same mold as the les­bian pride-themed Avant Pride P3! (Interestingly, despite being the most rep­re­sen­ta­tion­al and phal­lic of the Avant Pride line, it was the first to sell out.)

Both the Blush Avant D15 and Pride P3 are 5" long x 1.25" wide — on the small side of aver­age for human penis­es. That's about the lim­it for what my boyfriend's butt is com­fort­able with con­sum­ing, espe­cial­ly with the dildo's veiny textures.

There's a slight taper. The tip starts slim, and the shaft gets wider toward the base, so it's hard for my part­ner to take the Avant D15 / Pride P3 in all the way. But he also likes the silicone's squish — it's com­fort­able for those almost ready for anal inter­course and want­i­ng to lev­el up.

Related read­ings:

7 – Blush Temptasia underwear strap-on harness

Ahh, yes! Now we're get­ting to the real­ly good stuff. The Blush Novelties Temptasia strap-on under­wear har­ness has a stretchy sil­i­cone O‑ring that can fit a dil­do up to 2" wide. (Here's a video of me hula-hooping with the Blush Avant D4 dil­do strapped on.)

I love that this har­ness comes in a wide range of sizes, from S to 5XL. And it's nice and skin-friendly with 95% cot­ton and 5% span­dex. AND I like the cheeky fit.

 

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For me, though, the must-have feature of a strap-on is a bullet pocket.

That way, I can grind my vul­va against a vibra­tor every time I thrust or cir­cle my hips. It serves as rhyth­mic reg­u­la­tion for me — which in turn feels excel­lent for the receiv­ing partner!

The Blush's Temptasia under­wear har­ness has one that can hold a small vibe, like the We-Vibe Tango or Blush Exposed Nocturnal. Both are SUPER rumbly and pow­er­ful for this pur­pose, but it would be nice if there were a sec­ond, big­ger pocket.

? If you'd pre­fer cli­toral grind­ing with­out vibra­tion, con­sid­er a Sili Saddle. Or maybe try the Vixskin Mustang Royale's con­toured base, if your part­ner is com­fort­able with a girthi­er insertion.

[Image: We-Vibe Tango in Blush Temptasia underwear harness, with Blush Avant Pride P3 striped silicone dildo resting]

8 – BMS Mini Swan Rose bullet

My bul­let of choice for strap-on play is the BMS Mini Swan Rose. Why? Because it's close to the We-Vibe Tango's rum­ble, but a bit big­ger and its swell is con­toured to fit between my labia. I get more cli­toral pres­sure from the Mini Swan Rose than the Tango.

It's also one of the eas­i­est to con­trol, with one but­ton at the base and an incre­men­tal speed range. Consider, in con­trast, how Je Joue's (also-rumbly) bul­lets have their con­trols on the side — not the most con­ve­nient when inside a strap-on.

The BMS Mini Swan Rose is, unfortunately, too big to fit inside the bullet pocket.

I had to adjust a lit­tle, but for the most part, the under­wear har­ness was tight enough to keep the mini-vibrator pressed against my clit.

Idea: an alternative We-Vibe Moxie version

[Image: teal blue We-Vibe Moxie with magnet detached on orange lace panties]

I pre­vi­ous­ly crit­i­cized the We-Vibe Moxie remote con­trol panty vibe for bare­ly pro­vid­ing enough pres­sure when worn. But its bump fits against my cli­toris well, and the mag­net for keep­ing it in place is genius. It makes sense for strap-on play; thrust­ing push­es the We-Vibe Moxie against me.

If a toy man­u­fac­tur­er would make some­thing like the Moxie for strap-on play, but at a low­er price, that would be perfect!

? More budget-friendly bul­lets that do fit inside the Temptasia har­ness pocket:


External stimulation for the receiving partner

Just like I'd usu­al­ly pair vagi­nal inter­course with cli­toral stim­u­la­tion, I paired peg­ging with penile stim­u­la­tion. For that, I espe­cial­ly enjoy using wands.

[Image: indigo Dame Pillo, vase of white lilies, white Le Wand Rechargeable, sparkly blue Doxy 3 Rechargeable]

9 Le Wand Rechargeable — the best patterns for teasing

No, the Le Wand Rechargeable is not the absolute most pow­er­ful wand vibra­tor I own, but as far as recharge­ables go, it's in the top 3. And if you're cre­at­ing a slow-teasing jour­ney, its abun­dant vari­ety of pat­terns is per­fect. Rather than the usu­al long and dras­tic dips in pow­er, the Le Wand Rechargeable's rhythms often incor­po­rate the high­est speed in thrum­ming stac­ca­to beats.

10 Doxy 3 Rechargeable — the rumbliest compact vibrator I have

I like the Doxy 3 Rechargeable (a.k.a. Doxy Smol) for fit­ting between part­ners dur­ing inter­course, and while peg­ging is no excep­tion! It's potent and petite — what more could I ask for to get the job done?

(Then, after­ward, I used the Doxy 3 R on my clit while my boyfriend fin­gered my but­t­hole. ❤️)

Related read­ing: 9 Ways to Use a Wand Massager with a Partner


Afterglow

Sex with a strap-on can be plea­sur­able for both par­ties if you have the right mate­ri­als and mind­set. Such is the case with anal sex in general.

But because toys don't have nerve end­ings, a lot of it is about find­ing a com­bi­na­tion of strap-on har­ness, dil­do, and exter­nal stim­u­la­tion that works for you! Relish the smut­ty visu­als, lis­ten to your body, and as always, enjoy the ride.


Happy Pride Month!

Find oth­er LGBTQ+ bloggers:10 Things I Used For Strap-On Play + Pegging: Temptasia Underwear Harness, Avant P3 / D15, & more! 1

2 Responses

  1. Bran says:

    Thank you! We got half the things from this arti­cle and it has reignit­ed our sex life 😉

  2. D. Dyer says:

    I will def­i­nite­ly be pick­ing up a few of the things off the list on my next shop­ping trip.

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