9 Ways to Use a Wand Massager with a Partner

"I'm jeal­ous! Women get so many sex toys to choose from," lament­ed some guys in my life.

But when I ask whether they've used a vibra­tor with a part­ner or for penile mas­tur­ba­tion, crick­ets chirp.

Here's the thing: sex toys aren't just for sin­gle women! For one, there are end­less ways to incor­po­rate toys into part­ner play. What's more…

Your options expand when you fully appreciate that a penis is a lot like a big clitoris!

But because there's more sur­face area to stim­u­late on a penis, I think broad-​headed wands are an excep­tion­al­ly under­rat­ed cat­e­go­ry of sex toys for men. One of my read­ers said using one is the clos­est he came (hah) to expe­ri­enc­ing the inten­si­ty of the female orgasm.

It doesn't mat­ter much what sets of gen­i­tals you have — if you want to use sex toys with a part­ner, there's some­thing on this list for you.

(NOTE: I'm a woman in a rela­tion­ship with a man. Probably not every­thing here applies to your sit­u­a­tion, but I wrote this post under the assump­tion that every­one has holes and exter­nal eroge­nous zones!)

1. Tease your partner while they're reading and watch them squirm

Books are always poten­tial­ly sexy to a nerd, but even more so when incor­po­rat­ing them into fore­play. I love see­ing my part­ner strug­gle to keep a straight face and steady voice while I use my wand on his penis. My favorite part? His utter shock when I turn up the wand's speed, and he didn't expect it. Bring on the pause, the plea­sured shud­der, and an unin­ten­tion­al­ly seduc­tive voice (and evil laugh­ter on my end).

2. Give a next-level blowjob by holding the wand against your cheek

Combine deep, thud­dy vibra­tions with your mouth's wet­ness and suc­tion. You can use any vibra­tor for this pur­pose, but a pow­er­ful wand is ide­al. Alternatively, you could hold a vibra­tor against your partner's balls while suck­ing and stroking.

(The testes are sen­si­tive, though. So if you move the wand down to them, maybe do that part through your partner's under­wear or pants to reduce the inten­si­ty. Or pair your Hitachi Magic Wand Original with a light dimmer.)

UPDATE: I've writ­ten a sep­a­rate post all about blowjob vibra­tors and how they felt in use!

3. Add penis stroker attachments for a surround sound experience

Using a wand mas­sager direct­ly on a penis feels fan­tas­tic. If you want vari­ety, though, there's a sig­nif­i­cant advan­tage to using a wand attach­ment: you get to play around with a range of tex­tures and flut­tery sensations!

That could include squishy pock­et pussy-​style sleeves, but you also don't have to lim­it your­self to loop attach­ments or vibra­tors that wrap around the penis. The bumps and waves on Le Wand's sil­i­cone tex­ture cov­ers add tac­tile stim­u­la­tion — unique­ly sen­su­al for the fine touch recep­tors in the frenu­lum and fore­skin.

4. Straddle with the wand in between; massage both partners!

I wish peo­ple would stop see­ing wand vibra­tors as "get­ting in the way" of a penis dur­ing part­ner play. Sometimes for my boyfriend and me, the wand is the part­ner play.

Looking into each other's eyes while the intense, oth­er­world­ly stim­u­lus syncs up for both of us? Watching your part­ner gasp and shake? What's not to love?

(On a seri­ous note, maybe you strug­gle with hold­ing your­self up while kneel­ing. If that's the case, con­sid­er a sex posi­tion­ing pil­low to sup­port you.)

5. Combine a compact mini-wand vibrator with penetration

I under­stand: when peo­ple think of "cou­ples' toys," they think of some­thing petite and "non-​intrusive." A tra­di­tion­al Magic Wand head can be a vul­va hog and leave lit­tle room for a penis or big dil­do.

But you don't have to sac­ri­fice wand-​level pow­er when hav­ing PIV sex. The Doxy Number 3 and 3 Rechargeable pack the strength of the Le Wand Rechargeable into a small­er head and more light­weight body.

Shown are the Magic Wand Rechargeable, Magic Wand Mini, and Rock Candy Sweetensity Wand.

6. Tie the magic wand to your partner for orgasm torture

Why stop at teas­ing? If your partner's into being forced to orgasm, again and again, strap a wand vibra­tor to their crotch. Watch them whim­per and beg for per­mis­sion to stop (or to come).

Crash Restraint has an excel­lent tuto­r­i­al for that — and all you need is a wand and some (prefer­ably com­fort­able) rope. The title says "Hitachi Magic Wand," but you can, of course, apply the prin­ci­ples to any stan­dard size wand mas­sager. My Doxy Die Cast is my favorite and most pow­er­ful wand, so at least con­sid­er it. 😉

7. Insert a wand vibrator head as a warmup to fisting

If you love big inser­tions and want­ed to put a wand vibra­tor inside you, that's an option! For safe­ty rea­sons, it's best to pick a water­proof wand.

The BMS Factory Swan Wand com­bines a girthy, G‑spotty swell with Hitachi-​level vibra­tions. And if you already have a We-​Vibe Wand, you know that its head is more elon­gat­ed and grad­ual than the Magic Wand's — mak­ing We-Vibe's ver­sion a great can­di­date to insert vaginally.

8. Connect the wand to a remote control app for long-distance play

Even if you're social dis­tanc­ing or in a long-​distance rela­tion­ship, you can still have fun with wand vibra­tors. The We-​Vibe Wand 2 and Lovense Domi 2 both con­nect to smart­phones via Bluetooth and can be con­trolled by a part­ner from afar. (As can many oth­er We-​Vibe toys — I'm par­tial to the Melt air pulse toy's strength.)

9. Combine a wand with butt attachments for extra-rumbly vibrations!

Since every­one has a butt, they could poten­tial­ly enjoy pen­e­tra­tion with a vibrat­ing dil­do. With the right attach­ment, you can con­vert your wand into one!

There are pre-​made insertable wand acces­sories, but for even more ver­sa­til­i­ty, get a Strap Cap — a sil­i­cone wand cap but with three holes (1", 1.25", 1.5" diam­e­ter) to hold your favorite har­ness­able dil­dos.

Consider some of the slim and squishy dil­dos from my begin­ner butt stuff guide, such as the fol­low­ing from Blush Novelties:

• Neo Elite 7.5"
• Avant D15, Pride P3
• Avant Pride P1, P2, D14

Let's wrap it up!

Wands are way more ver­sa­tile than peo­ple give them cred­it for. Whether you have a penis or a vul­va, get­ting a mas­sager like the Doxy Die Cast or Magic Wand Plus is a sol­id invest­ment for solo play and part­ner play.

What are your favorite ways to use a wand with a partner?

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Heads up! This post was spon­sored. Opinions expressed are my own, as always.

Want to spon­sor a post? Get in touch via the con­tact form on my poli­cies page or email super­s­mash­cache [at] gmail [dot] com