Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle fantasy dildo review

Side view of a red, purple, and teal Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle dildo

It's one thing to say that I enjoy ver­ti­cal tex­tures. It's anoth­er to come via the twist­ing motion alone or to feel like I'd go insane if I stopped twist­ing the Uberrime Xenuphora's addic­tive angles left-and-right inside me. What's more, I want to squish its deli­cious­ly tex­tured shaft against my clit while thrusting.

The Uberrime Xenuphora ten­ta­cle dil­do is a look­er for sure (just like every­thing else Uberrime makes). But its design isn't ENTIRELY dec­o­ra­tive. Its ver­ti­cal edges and pro­nounced suc­tion cups give me sen­sa­tions I didn't even real­ize I was craving.

What makes the Uberrime Xenuphora unique?

A sharp, angular build

3/4 view of the Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle dildo showing its sharp-ish edge and external stimulation bumps

There isn't exact­ly a short­age of ten­ta­cle dil­dos on the mar­ket. But if you sliced them into cross-sections, the over­whelm­ing major­i­ty of them would be ellipses or ovoid, with some sur­face tex­ture. Not the Xenuphora— its slices would be more like pen­tagons with one angle squished. In oth­er words, this dildo's very struc­ture begins with nov­el sen­sa­tions in mind, instead of hav­ing some suc­tion cups slapped onto an oth­er­wise basic form.

Imagine some­one tight­ly flex­ing their bony fin­gers so that the pads met the bases. And the mid­dle seg­ment pressed and swiveled against the shal­low­est part of your front wall. Feeling one of the Xenuphora's more intense edges is kind of like that, but sharp­er. More crisp and tar­get­ed. With some undu­lat­ing waves and a tiny hint of the higher-resolution suc­tion cups. As you turn the suction-cupped side away, the edges get less pro­nounced, giv­ing you options for your lev­el of intensity.

A closer cup at the Xenuphora tentacle dildo's spearlike, triangular head

And that flared head? Oof. Fuck me side­ways. Literally. If I'm hold­ing on to the mid­dle of the shaft to tip drill, turn­ing the Xenuphora side­ways gives me some gen­tle but pre­cise G‑spot stim­u­la­tion. This head shape is less about pound­ing (the shaft is too flex­i­ble for that, any­way) and more about trac­ing cir­cles on my inter­nal cli­toris. Its sub­tle stim­u­la­tion is con­trolled and enough to make me come.

But why would I want to stop when there are so many angles, dips, and bumps to play with?

An unintimidating size

The Xenuphora tentacle dildo's flexible shaft bends easily between my thumb and index finger. But it's not exactly squishy, either.

The Uberrime Xenuphora's design also caters to an unfor­tu­nate­ly under­served audi­ence. Its very aver­age 5.5" insertable length and 1.4" diam­e­ter are for those who have pre­vi­ous­ly only drooled at pho­tos of fan­ta­sy dil­dos— feel­ing intim­i­dat­ed by most of their gar­gan­tu­an mea­sure­ments.

I'm not one of those peo­ple any­more. But I remem­ber a time when even a 1.75" thick dil­do seemed humon­gous to me. The Uberrime Xenuphora's size feels sub­stan­tial­ly more approach­able for the aver­age user. Not every­one is com­fort­able with a firm dil­do as thick (or thick­er than) a soda can, and I respect that.

Even if I could request a big­ger Xenuphora, I prob­a­bly wouldn't, unless I could get a squishi­er one. The one I have was cast in 10A Shore (springy but not squishy) hard­ness sil­i­cone. In this size, I think the firm­ness is per­fect for bring­ing out plen­ty of deli­cious, tar­get­ed pres­sure from the head's points, along with some gen­er­al­ized but con­sis­tent "OMFG" from the rows of suc­tion cups.

The Xenuphora's quizzical suction cup placement

I don't com­plete­ly under­stand why the suc­tion cups are on the out­side of the osten­si­ble G‑spot curve. Not when surface-level back wall stim­u­la­tion doesn't do much for me. But I dig using the curve for deep pres­sure against my back wall.

Another look at the outside of the Uberrime Xenuphora's G-spot curve, showing off the suction cups.

You might remem­ber me talk­ing about the per­ineal sponge way back in my Chrystalino Champ review. Perineal sponge (PS-spot) stim­u­la­tion is like mas­sag­ing my but­t­hole through my back vagi­nal wall. And the tech­nique is akin to tar­get­ing the G‑spot but on the oppo­site side of the vagi­na— high­ly intu­itive with the Uberrime Xenuphora's gen­tle curve. (Side note: press­ing a more severe­ly curved G‑spot dil­do against my back wall feels a bit like I need to poo.)

To be clear, PS-spot mas­sage mere­ly feels pleas­ant to me. Alone, it's not enough to make me come. But when I angle the Xenuphora so that the curve tar­gets that spot on my back wall, the ten­ta­cle suc­tion cups also slide along my front wall and cli­toris. And that is a har­mo­nious symphony.

Shallow vs. deep penetration with the Xenuphora

The shadows in this photo emphasize how the Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle dildo's edges get sharper towards the bottom of the shaft. Also, its base is dusty. My bad for not cleaning that before taking this photo.

Most of the Uberrime Xenuphora's strengths, like the suc­tion cups and spear-like head, shine their bright­est dur­ing shal­low inser­tion. Once you go deep­er, there are two main attrac­tions: the sharp­er edges, and the bumps on the base.

The clos­er you get to the base, the sharp­er the edges get. At their sharpest, we're talk­ing the thick­ness of a sheet of card­board. But that doesn't mean they feel harsh by my stan­dards. Quite the con­trary— because they're so thin, they're flex­i­ble and yielding.

A closer look at the Uberrime Xenuphora's bumps on the flared base, which stimulate the clitoris, perineum, or anus, depending on how it lines up with your junk.

It's also hard to miss the raised bumps on the base. I have a very aver­age clit-vag gap of one inch, which lines up per­fect­ly with the bump on the suc­tion cup side for nudg­ing and twist­ing. And even if the Xenuphora doesn't align with your anato­my as neat­ly as mine, its shaft is bendy enough that you could finesse it to fit your exter­nal junk.

Most times I'm using the Xenuphora, though, I'm not thrust­ing it all the way. Twisting, maybe. But push­ing it against my "go hard or go home" deep spots doesn't do jus­tice to the Xenuphora's contours.

Water drop vector icon

Cleaning the Uberrime Xenuphora

It's true: the surface's intri­ca­cies hide much vag gunk. I rec­om­mend get­ting a soft-bristled tooth­brush for clean­ing the nooks and cran­nies. A pain in the ass? Maybe a bit, but the suc­tion cups are only on one face of the dildo's shaft. It doesn't take much time to scrub them.

If you're more scrupu­lous, though, you could also boil the sil­i­cone for 5–10 min­utes to kill germs.

Final thoughts on the Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle dildo

All my Uberrime goodies, as of time of posting: Helios, Night King, and Xenuphora. You can find reviews for all of these dildos on my blog.

I liked this dil­do way more than I expect­ed to. Usually, I reach for more mas­sive, firmer, and smoother dil­dos, but the Xenuphora is crisp and bal­anced. I've sel­dom encoun­tered dil­dos with such defined ver­ti­cals as the Xenuphora's before.

Though the pres­sure is very focused, many of the more pro­nounced land­marks are well-spaced, giv­ing me fine-tuned con­trol of the sen­sa­tion against my front wall. If you like twist­ing and cir­cling tex­tures, this dildo's angles are for you.

The waves on the flat­tened sides also feel very and flow­ing to my fin­gers. I've made molds and poured casts before in under­grad, and I can imag­ine how med­i­ta­tive it was for Marco to press and drag his fin­gers along the mod­el­ing mate­r­i­al to form the dips.

Everything about the Uberrime Xenuphora screams, "Play with me!" It's play­ful for the eyes, fun for the hands to play with, and sure to bring play­ful explo­rations to those who love big, struc­tur­al vari­a­tions in their sex toys.

Get the Uberrime Xenuphora at Peepshow Toys for 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE or read more of my Uberrime dil­do reviews.

I recommend the Uberrime Xenuphora to those who…

  • enjoy sharp and defined tex­tures internally
  • like squish­ing off their exter­nal bits on tex­tured silicone
  • pre­fer shal­low penetration
  • want a modestly-sized fan­ta­sy dildo

I would not recommend the Xenuphora to those who…

Thank you, Peepshow Toys!

Peepshow Toys logo

Peepshow Toys sent me the Uberrime Xenuphora ten­ta­cle dil­do in exchange for my hon­est and freely-given review. There are plen­ty of pret­ty dils I want­ed to love but felt "meh" about. The Xenuphora, though? Nothing but love for it.

8 Responses

  1. DizzyD says:

    This review makes it so hard to not buy the Xenuphora right now.… I love the way it’s writ­ten. Not just a descrip­tion of this toy. There’s so much infor­ma­tion about the product!

  2. Jay says:

    Uberrime’s toys are so beau­ti­ful. I haven’t tried a true fan­ta­sy dil­do yet (I tend towards real­is­tic or semi-realistic), but the Xenuphora is def­i­nite­ly some­thing for me to consider!

  3. qiu says:

    I want to try a ten­ta­cle dil­do soo hard!

  4. C says:

    The colours on this are so beau­ti­ful, like all of Uberrime’s toys are ? I real­ly like the idea of using this exter­nal­ly. Personally I think all the tex­ture inter­nal­ly would be too over­whelm­ing for me, but maybe not.

  5. Luna Vixen says:

    I love Ūberrimé’s qual­i­ty! Hoping to try out one from his ten­ta­cle line. Marco is a GENIUS. 

  6. Oreon says:

    Would like to try one of these and oth­ers from Uberrime. It's so pret­ty too.

  7. D. Dyer says:

    I am usu­al­ly all about stretch and depth but the tex­tures on this make me think I need to give it a shot. After all, vari­ety and explo­ration are also very important.

  8. Chelsea says:

    Thank you for this review because I go back and forth on get­ting one of these

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