Top 7 La Boutique Voila Sex Toys, Ranked!

Meet The Thruster's younger sib­ling, La Boutique Voila.

While Velvet Thrusters focus on lux­u­ry hand­held fuck­ing machines, Voila is all about the sil­ly shapes and kooky con­trap­tions, from aliens to the infa­mous rose to Thor's hammer.

Here are my favorites.

Use the Boutique Voila dis­count code, SUPER20 for 20% off all Voila orig­i­nal toys.

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Little Goo Dinosaur Clit Suction Massager

Little Goo, the Suck-​a-​Saurus rex by Boutique Voila:

• Wields pow­er par with Womanizer’s Premium 2 and the rose suc­tion toy at the high­est speed
• Features six steady inten­si­ty options, with small­er incre­ments than the infa­mous rose
• Is a frig­gin’ adorable and dis­creet dinosaur shape — arguably just as cute as the rose
• Has a sil­i­cone suc­tion noz­zle that pops off, mak­ing it easy to clean
• Is super afford­able — once again tread­ing on the ter­ri­to­ry of the rose

—Voila Little Goo Review: POWERFUL Dinosaur Suction Toy

Voila Bob the Alien Vibrator

IF IT FITS, I SITS (on it). This alien vibe is 2.1–2.2" across the head and HELLA front-​loaded for aggres­sive G‑spot stim­u­la­tion and a big stretch. AND IT GLOWS IN THE DARK. 

Was Bob the Alien made for vagi­nal inser­tion? That's prob­a­bly not what La Boutique Voila had in mind, but I think he's found his new home inside me.

Between the girth and silicone's firm­ness, Bob the Alien vibe looks sil­ly but is quite severe. Don't for­get to tilt and push him back­wards on the way in to reduce pres­sure on the ure­thra. And have lots of lube ready. You'll need it.

(See my guide to fist­ing and huge dil­dos for more tips on insert­ing big dildos.)

Once the head is in, the "shaft" mea­sures 0.9 to 1.5". There's a huge con­trast between the head and body, so if you tend to have bul­bous or curved toys snag on the pubic bone on the way out, Bob the Alien vibra­tor isn't for you.

Who would like the Voila Bob the Alien vibrator?

Here's the thing: my vagi­na craves the expan­sion. My fol­low­ers know I'm barbaric.

They aren't here for buzzy bul­let sleeves — which, yeah, I'd call most of Voila's vibra­tors buzzy. When they're bare, they're strong enough to com­pen­sate, but when there's sil­i­cone over them, meh. And no, the arm and fin­ger don't real­ly do much; they're too bendy to be any­thing oth­er than decoration.

Also, this alien vibra­tor by Voila is safe for vagi­nal use only. I don't trust those lil peets to be safe for butt stuff.

More than any­thing else, though, my Instagram fol­low­ers want to stretch like it's an extreme sport (or at least read about it). If that's you, you'll love this thing!

If you want a quirky, girthy, and glow­ing insertable, Voila's Bob the Alien vibra­tor is one of the cutest gag gifts I nev­er imag­ined, but adore nevertheless.

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Smartee G-spot Vibrator With Handle

If the Voila Smartee looks famil­iar, that's because I've reviewed some­thing with the exact same shape before! It's the soft­er sib­ling of the L'Acier Capo stain­less steel dil­do.

I'll admit, I'm a lit­tle hard­core with my toys. Many of my favorites are stain­less steel or glass, and that's not for every­one. For those who want some­thing more yield­ing, the Voila Smartee vibra­tor offers the same defined head for G‑spotting, but with:

• More flex­i­bil­i­ty and squish
• Less weight
• A rum­bli­er motor
• A small­er price tag

Its built-​in motor makes big­ger waves than the L'Acier Capo's remov­able bul­let does.

They're what I call zingy: still on the high-​pitched side yet pen­e­trate deep­er into the skin, sim­i­lar to what you'd get with LELO's motors. The con­trols are lim­it­ed, though, with one but­ton cycling through 3 steady speeds and 7 patterns.

Who would like the Voila Smartee vibrator?

While the Smartee is mar­ket­ed as a plus size and preg­nan­cy vibe, its remov­able han­dle is espe­cial­ly great for any­one who wants more reach for their toys, for any num­ber of reasons:

• Limited arm and shoul­der mobility
• Using toys on partners
• Ample bel­ly fat
• Making it butt-​safe by serv­ing as a stopper
• Going deep­er with­out occu­py­ing much of the insertable length with your hand
• And yes, preg­nan­cy, because plea­sure doesn't have to stop the moment you become a poten­tial parent.

Here are the Voila Smartee's pros and cons in a nut­shell. It's G‑spotty, strong, silky, ver­sa­tile, and total­ly water­proof. The one major flaw is that it's not the qui­etest vibra­tor. And anoth­er pet­ty quib­ble is that it only comes in pink.

Beyond that, I have noth­ing bad to say about it. It's the whole pack­age, and if any­thing, I'd argue that Voila under­sold it. This vibra­tor is fan­tas­tic for peo­ple with mobil­i­ty issues and those without.

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The Rose Clit Massager Suction Toy

This isn't the first time I've dis­cussed the rose sex toy, and it prob­a­bly won't be the last.

I've pre­vi­ous­ly summed up the three steady speed set­tings: "vroom, earth­quake, and dev­as­ta­tion." A few para­graphs lat­er, I added, "One but­ton abrupt­ly accel­er­ates the rose mas­sager from 0 to 60 to 100 to 120."

It's strong. At the high­est speed, it's one of the strongest air pulse toys I've ever tried, as intense as the Womanizer Premium 2. But that doesn't make it the best.

Air puls­es can be a doozy, and you don't nec­es­sar­i­ly want to go from 0 to 60. On the flip­side, you don't nec­es­sar­i­ly want to stay at 60 when you're sen­si­tive right after an orgasm.

If you want raw pow­er in a suc­tion toy, get the rose. If you care more about tight con­trol and sub­tle­ty and hav­ing many in-​between set­tings to ramp it up, see my air pulse toy com­par­i­son. I test­ed over 20 pres­sure wave mas­sagers and summed them up in one post!

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Thor's Mighty Hammer Vibrator

TURN ME ON WITH YOUR ELECTRIC FEEL.

Ridged shaft. Powerful vibes. It's fun to wield Thor's Mighty Hammer from La Boutique Voila for a spicy Halloween cos­tume or role­play, but how does it feel in use? Here are the ham­mer vibrator's pros and cons.

My vagi­na is com­prised of stur­dy walls with a high ceil­ing, so I would pre­fer more length or cur­va­ture or tip def­i­n­i­tion. But your mileage may vary. Let's be real — if you're get­ting the Mjölnir ham­mer vibe, it's because you wanted:

• The nov­el­ty factor
• A gen­er­al insertable
• Strong vibra­tions

And it ticks those box­es while look­ing cute.

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Stroker Ace Tennis Ball Sleeve

It's a nov­el take on a clas­sic: like the Easy Beat Eggs, the Stroker Ace sleeve is a slight­ly more real­is­tic upgrade than one's hand alone, but the dis­creet stor­age case is a ten­nis ball shape.

This sleeve's ridg­ing feels like the bot­tom of a vagi­nal canal, at least at first. Once it stretch­es, the tex­tures smooth out.

I'd say it's best for those who are extra sen­si­tive at the tip; you won't get as intense tac­tile sen­sa­tion once you move down to the shaft. Alternatively, turn it inside out to add squish to a wand vibra­tor.

It's made of super soft TPR, which envelops the penis nice­ly, but unlike sil­i­cone stro­kers, it will lose grip and usabil­i­ty over time. Watch for changes in shape, col­or, and smell, and toss it once it's reached the end of its shelf life.

Overall, the Voila Stroker Ace ten­nis ball sleeve's bang-​to-​buck ratio is about right. It's fuck­able, adds sen­sa­tion, and here for a good time, not a long time. 

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Voila Energy Ball Pokéball vibrator

Velvet Co. more like­ly can't call it a Pokéball vibra­tor for legal rea­sons, but we know what this mas­sager was designed to look like.

It's red and white with a straight black bor­der and a round but­ton in the cen­ter for turn­ing on the vibrations.

There's a squishy side for grind­ing and a firm one for trans­mit­ting vibra­tions — 3 steady and and 7 pat­terns. It's also total­ly water­proof and rechargeable.

At 3.2" diam­e­ter, it's cute, fun to roll while sit­ting, and def­i­nite­ly fin­ish­es me off — BUT should be reserved for those who like gen­tle stim­u­la­tion.
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The motor is def­i­nite­ly buzzy, and the broad sur­face dis­pers­es its move­ment. Fortunately, its size is easy to low­er my weight onto and leverage!

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La Bomba Grenade Penis Masturbation Sleeve

Its length encom­pass­es more of the penis than the Stroker Ace does, so my part­ner actu­al­ly liked La Bomba more!

The only rea­son I put it low­er down on the list is that it's quite pricey. The nov­el­ty fac­tor is def­i­nite­ly some­thing, though; a friend asked, "lmao, is that real?" Yes, it's real. You can put your dick in a grenade-​shaped stroker. 

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This post was spon­sored. Opinions expressed are my own.