Uberrime Helios Sun God textured dildo review

My first dil­do from Uberrime wasn't the Helios, but the sto­ry begins the same way: it almost too pret­ty to use. Almost. I oohed and aahed the delec­tably tight mar­bling of the colors.

Uberrime Helios Sun God next to Uberrime Night King next to Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle dildo

I com­mand­ed my boyfriend to hold a lamp over the sink as I took dozens of pho­tos of the Night King in shim­mery bath bomb water.

But it took me two or three weeks before I used it— how could any sex toy feel as good as the Night King looked?

What if I was hyp­ing myself up for dis­ap­point­ment? What if insert­ing the dil­do fucked up the Night King's ini­tial hon­ey­moon mag­ic? When I stopped drag­ging my feet and start­ed test­ing, I real­ized how unfound­ed my trep­i­da­tion was.

The Uberrime Night King end­ed up being one of my favorite sex toys in the his­to­ry of ever. My review of it is the pin­na­cle of the sex blog­ger dream. "Gosh, I'm so lucky to have the oppor­tu­ni­ty to do more of this as a job!" I'd remind myself.

First Impressions of the Uberrime Helios Sun God

When Peepshow Toys more recent­ly sent me the Uberrime Helios, I pro­cras­ti­nat­ed for the same rea­son. But this time, my heart sank at first thrust. What have I done? Hindsight is 20/​20.

Uberrime Helios Sun God Dildo G-spotting head, coronal ridge, and sulcus

UPDATE: There's a new-​and-​improved Uberrime Helios! The remain­der of this review is about the first-​generation version. 

can come with just the Helios. Sometimes. But not with ease or con­sis­ten­cy — it takes too damn long, and I'd pre­fer to switch back to my Night King or Avant D4.

To its cred­it, the ridges that wrap around the Helios Sun God's shaft feel good. However, because they're not as pro­nounced as the tex­tures on the Night King, they can't get me off on their own. The Helios' coils are mere­ly an inter­est­ing extra. And beau­ti­ful icing can't save an unstruc­tured cake.

Uberrime Helios Sun God dildo lying on its side

That's what it comes down to: I find the Uberrime Helios Sun God dil­do too indef­i­nite to do much for my inter­nal zones. It slides and squish­es behind my cervix, but lacks the def­i­n­i­tion to mas­sage the right spot.

The head doesn't excep­tion­al­ly jut out for­ward, and there's no curve. And if I try to aim against my cervix, the tip con­tin­ues to evade and slide past the most sen­si­tive deep spot.

Uberrime Helios for cervix & G-spot stimulation

Uberrime Helios flexible shaft and beautiful AF swirled base of yellow and red silicone

I can come by bot­tom­ing myself out and push­ing the Helios Sun God in place, all the way in. However, that's not unique to the Helios. I could prob­a­bly just as eas­i­ly do that with anoth­er, more afford­able dildo.

Plenty of indie toys can ade­quate­ly stim­u­late my G‑spot — a depart­ment I also find the Uberrime Sun God lack­ing. When my pubic bone catch­es in the Helios Sun God's sulcus/​dip under the coro­na, my G‑spot is aware of the pro­trud­ing head. It feels good.

But again, it's only pleas­ant. It's not that the head isn't pro­nounced — there's just not enough "oomph" to push me over the edge.

Dildos I'd recommend instead of the Helios

Comparison of Blush Novelties Avant D4, Temptasia Elvira, Uberrime Helios, and Uberrime Night Kings G-spotting heads. The Night King has the most drastically curved shaft, but the other three have more defined heads

The gist of almost any stim­u­la­tion I get from the Sun God is that the head, shaft, and tex­tures feel good, but rarely enough to make me come on their own. For that rea­son, the only fea­ture I find out­stand­ing about the Uberrime Helios Sun God dil­do is its good looks. If I'm crav­ing twistable and thrustable tex­tures, I'll keep wax­ing poet­ic about the Uberrime Night King.

I'm sor­ry, Marco! I admire the work you put into Uberrime, but the Helios Sun God dil­do isn't for me. If a read­er needs firmer G‑spot stim­u­la­tion, I would (and I know I sound like a bro­ken record) steer them toward the Uberrime Night King.

I'd rec­om­mend the Helios Sun God dil­do for peo­ple who want a bendy and squishy dil­do with girth and small ridges. The sul­cus pro­vides some drag and mild G‑spot or prostate stim­u­la­tion, and maybe that's your thang.

But for me, the Uberrime Helios Sun God will stay on my shelf for dec­o­ra­tive pur­pos­es only. In my house­hold, that's all the Uberrime Helios is good for — being eye candy.

Dildos mentioned in this review

Uberrime Helios Sun God silicone dildo review

Peepshow Toys coupon code

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Take 10% off when you buy the Uberrime Helios Sun God dil­do or any oth­er toy from Peepshow Toys with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE

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2 Responses

  1. G says:

    Interesting to see why this didn't quite work for you like the oth­er Uberrime toys.

  1. January 14, 2019

    […] more I learn what I like sex­u­al­ly, the more I know I want to try these toys! I’ve seen SuperSmashCache review them, which only made me lust after them more! They are all hand­made fan­ta­sy sil­i­cone dil­dos, basically […]

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