Uberrime Damn Alien Review: Beaded G-Spot Massager

“Why wear one string [of pearls] when you can wear two?”

– Coco Chanel

As my pussy wrapped the pletho­ra of pearls, I couldn't help but won­der: have I been enrap­tured by a benev­o­lent alien or a behind-​bars body mod pro­po­nent? Either way, Uberrime's Damn Alien got me glazy-​eyed and blush­ing with its bead­ed head.

With each glossy row that juts out against me, I clench in delight. They're spaced out just right for slow, sen­su­al savoring.

How Uberrime's Damn Alien Felt in Use

Three rows of nodes line the top half — for­get the spin­ning bead rab­bit! The Damn Alien's spher­oids slide in syn­chrony on my front wall:

• One row rub­bing my inter­nal cli­toris as I thrust and twist the flared coro­na against my G‑spot.
• Another pair on my pussy's tight­est por­tion — pearls enrobe the shal­low­est quar­ter of my vagi­na again and again
• A final stretch at the open­ing, some­times grind­ing on the glans (exter­nal por­tion) of the clitoris
• There's maybe anoth­er inch of smooth land­scape, then two bumps off to the side, beck­on­ing me to corkscrew them in my cunt

With each glossy row that juts out against me, I reflex­ive­ly clench in delight. They're spaced out just right for slow, sen­su­al savor­ing — noth­ing too hardcore.

(Try an Uberrime Night King or Pris Toys Syren instead if you want A‑spotty inten­si­ty with tex­tures.)

Which Silicone Density/Firmness I Prefer

Two of the Damn Alien's sil­i­cone soft­ness­es include:

• Shore 0050 — squishi­er, flex­ing for cli­toral align­ment tech­nique, tap­ping and slid­ing the exter­nals on the way in
• Shore 8A den­si­ty — firmer for opti­miz­ing the pearls’ pen­e­tra­tion sen­sa­tion. My favorite use for it was tilt­ing the base way back — and the head way for­ward for more pres­sure on my G‑spot

Both ver­sions are pli­able due to their mod­er­ate size. The design was, after all, ini­tial­ly called the Average Alien by Damn Average ¹ — real­is­tic (by human stan­dards) with an insertable length of 5” and diam­e­ter of 1.4”. I pre­fer the denser edi­tion, which yields more resis­tance to wrap around.

And there's some­thing here for lovers of large and aver­age aliens — because I did dou­ble vagi­nal pen­e­tra­tion with my Damn Aliens.

Double Penetration With Alien Dildos

The stretch was enough to dri­ve me crazy and woozy-​faced, with slick secre­tions drip­ping down their sur­faces. It wasn't long before I came — crav­ing dirty talk while super sug­gestibly subspace‑y and ready for (play) abduction.

So much room was tak­en up inside me; my cave's depths crushed the cocks togeth­er while their out­er bases splayed apart. The Damn Alien's low­est row fer­vent­ly pushed back against my front wall. Even a dec­o­ra­tive bump on the bot­tom hap­pened to line up with my swollen clit when I shift­ed ever-​so-​slightly to the side.

Closing Thoughts on Uberrime's Damn Alien

I want­ed a Damn Average Alien as far back as 2014. The small batch­es always sold out so quick­ly, and for a good rea­son: the Damn Alien is G‑spotty AF and supreme for tip drilling! I sigh and squeeze my pussy just think­ing about the Damn Alien's knobs and notch­es again — rock­ing my clit inside and outside.

The stretch was enough to dri­ve me crazy and woozy-​faced, with slick secre­tions drip­ping down their sur­faces … ready for (play) abduc­tion… low­est row fer­vent­ly pushed against my front wall.

Customize your Uberrime Damn Alien and add mar­bling. Shown here are glit­ter black with UV pink and UV green.

Footnote:

1. Nowadays, Sheep from Damn Average is work­ing with Uberrime! It's love­ly to see some fan faves col­lab­o­rat­ing. Find Damn Average's sil­i­cone squishies on Etsy.

Related posts:

• Browse my past Uberrime Dildo reviews
  • Xenuphora is anoth­er average-​sized fan­ta­sy dildo!
• Other alien-​themed and glow­ing dil­dos I love: 
  • NS Firefly Glass G‑Spot Wand
  • Bob the Alien from Boutique Voila
  • Uberrime Alien Probe Thing
• Unique sex toys for the col­lec­tor who has everything

Of course, you could get any Uberrime dil­do cus­tomized in a UV glow or glow-​in-​the-​dark col­or scheme. 🙂 I can't say it enough: I fuck­ing love the Uberrime Night King and Aptus!

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This review was spon­sored. The opin­ions expressed and writ­ten here are my own!