Uberrime Damn Alien Review: Beaded G-Spot Massager

“Why wear one string [of pearls] when you can wear two?”

– Coco Chanel
Uberrime Damn Alien glossy bumpy textured G-spot dildo

As my pussy wrapped the pletho­ra of pearls, I couldn't help but won­der: have I been enrap­tured by a benev­o­lent alien or a behind-​bars body mod pro­po­nent? Either way, Uberrime's Damn Alien got me glazy-​eyed and blush­ing with its bead­ed head.

With each glossy row that juts out against me, I clench in delight. They're spaced out just right for slow, sen­su­al savoring.

Uberrime Damn Alien massager G-spotty head shape and bumpy shaft

How Uberrime's Damn Alien Felt in Use

Three rows of nodes line the top half — for­get the spin­ning bead rab­bit! The Damn Alien's spher­oids slide in syn­chrony on my front wall:

  • One row rub­bing my inter­nal cli­toris as I thrust and twist the flared coro­na against my G‑spot.
  • Another pair on my pussy's tight­est por­tion — pearls enrobe the shal­low­est quar­ter of my vagi­na again and again
  • A final stretch at the open­ing, some­times grind­ing on the glans (exter­nal por­tion) of the clitoris
  • There's maybe anoth­er inch of smooth land­scape, then two bumps off to the side, beck­on­ing me to corkscrew them in my cunt

With each glossy row that juts out against me, I reflex­ive­ly clench in delight. They're spaced out just right for slow, sen­su­al savor­ing — noth­ing too hardcore.

Uberrime Damn Alien dildo in UV green marbled with black glitter

(Try an Uberrime Night King or Pris Toys Syren instead if you want A‑spotty inten­si­ty with tex­tures.)

Which Silicone Density/Firmness I Prefer

Two of the Damn Alien's sil­i­cone soft­ness­es include:

  • Shore 0050 — squishi­er, flex­ing for cli­toral align­ment tech­nique, tap­ping and slid­ing the exter­nals on the way in
  • Shore 8A den­si­ty — firmer for opti­miz­ing the pearls’ pen­e­tra­tion sen­sa­tion. My favorite use for it was tilt­ing the base way back — and the head way for­ward for more pres­sure on my G‑spot
Uberrime Damn Alien Shore 0050 silicone flexibility

Both ver­sions are pli­able due to their mod­er­ate size. The design was, after all, ini­tial­ly called the Average Alien by Damn Average 1 — real­is­tic (by human stan­dards) with an insertable length of 5” and diam­e­ter of 1.4”. I pre­fer the denser edi­tion, which yields more resis­tance to wrap around.

And there's some­thing here for lovers of large and aver­age aliens — because I did dou­ble vagi­nal pen­e­tra­tion with my Damn Aliens.

Uberrime Damn Alien textured massager dildo in UV Pink and UV green

Double Penetration With Alien Dildos

The stretch was enough to dri­ve me crazy and woozy-​faced, with slick secre­tions drip­ping down their sur­faces. It wasn't long before I came — crav­ing dirty talk while super sug­gestibly subspace‑y and ready for (play) abduction.

So much room was tak­en up inside me; my cave's depths crushed the cocks togeth­er while their out­er bases splayed apart. The Damn Alien's low­est row fer­vent­ly pushed back against my front wall. Even a dec­o­ra­tive bump on the bot­tom hap­pened to line up with my swollen clit when I shift­ed ever-​so-​slightly to the side.

Uberrime Damn Alien spiked base accents

Closing Thoughts on Uberrime's Damn Alien

I want­ed a Damn Average Alien as far back as 2014. The small batch­es always sold out so quick­ly, and for a good rea­son: the Damn Alien is G‑spotty AF and supreme for tip drilling! I sigh and squeeze my pussy just think­ing about the Damn Alien's knobs and notch­es again — rock­ing my clit inside and outside.

Uberrime Damn Alien dildo underside with faux corpus spongiosum and ribbing

The stretch was enough to dri­ve me crazy and woozy-​faced, with slick secre­tions drip­ping down their sur­faces … ready for (play) abduc­tion… low­est row fer­vent­ly pushed against my front wall.

Customize your Uberrime Damn Alien and add mar­bling. Shown here are glit­ter black with UV pink and UV green.

Footnote:
  1. Nowadays, Sheep from Damn Average is work­ing with Uberrime! It's love­ly to see some fan faves col­lab­o­rat­ing. Find Damn Average's sil­i­cone squishies on Etsy.
Uberrime Damn Alien and Damn Average Above Average Alien size comparison
Uberrime Damn Alien in UV glow green and pink vs. Damn Average's Above Average Alien in Discount Chocolate Day-​themed col­ors (think of February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day)
Related posts:

Of course, you could get any Uberrime dil­do cus­tomized in a UV glow or glow-​in-​the-​dark col­or scheme. 🙂 I can't say it enough: I fuck­ing love the Uberrime Night King and Aptus!

Uberrime Night King UV 1 color scheme

This review was spon­sored. The opin­ions expressed and writ­ten here are my own!

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