Uberrime Xenuphora Tentacle Fantasy Dildo Review

It's one thing to say that I enjoy ver­ti­cal tex­tures. It's anoth­er to come via the twist­ing motion alone or to feel like I'd go insane if I stopped twist­ing the Uberrime Xenuphora's addic­tive angles left-​and-​right inside me. What's more, I want to squish its deli­cious­ly tex­tured shaft against my clit while thrusting.

The Uberrime Xenuphora ten­ta­cle dil­do is a look­er for sure (just like every­thing else Uberrime makes). But its design isn't ENTIRELY dec­o­ra­tive. Its ver­ti­cal edges and pro­nounced suc­tion cups give me sen­sa­tions I didn't even real­ize I was craving.

What Makes the Uberrime Xenuphora Unique?

A Sharp, Angular Build

There isn't exact­ly a short­age of ten­ta­cle dil­dos on the mar­ket. But if you sliced them into cross-​sections, the over­whelm­ing major­i­ty of them would be ellipses or ovoid, with some sur­face tex­ture. Not the Xenuphora— its slices would be more like pen­tagons with one angle squished. In oth­er words, this dildo's very struc­ture begins with nov­el sen­sa­tions in mind, instead of hav­ing some suc­tion cups slapped onto an oth­er­wise basic form.

Imagine some­one tight­ly flex­ing their bony fin­gers so that the pads met the bases. And the mid­dle seg­ment pressed and swiveled against the shal­low­est part of your front wall. Feeling one of the Xenuphora's more intense edges is kind of like that, but sharp­er. More crisp and tar­get­ed. With some undu­lat­ing waves and a tiny hint of the higher-​resolution suc­tion cups. As you turn the suction-​cupped side away, the edges get less pro­nounced, giv­ing you options for your lev­el of intensity.

And that flared head? Oof. Fuck me side­ways. Literally. If I'm hold­ing on to the mid­dle of the shaft to tip drill, turn­ing the Xenuphora side­ways gives me some gen­tle but pre­cise G‑spot stim­u­la­tion. This head shape is less about pound­ing (the shaft is too flex­i­ble for that, any­way) and more about trac­ing cir­cles on my inter­nal cli­toris. Its sub­tle stim­u­la­tion is con­trolled and enough to make me come.

But why would I want to stop when there are so many angles, dips, and bumps to play with?

An Unintimidating Size

The Uberrime Xenuphora's design also caters to an unfor­tu­nate­ly under­served audi­ence. Its very aver­age 5.5" insertable length and 1.4" diam­e­ter are for those who have pre­vi­ous­ly only drooled at pho­tos of fan­ta­sy dil­dos— feel­ing intim­i­dat­ed by most of their gar­gan­tu­an mea­sure­ments.

I'm not one of those peo­ple any­more. But I remem­ber a time when even a 1.75" thick dil­do seemed humon­gous to me. The Uberrime Xenuphora's size feels sub­stan­tial­ly more approach­able for the aver­age user. Not every­one is com­fort­able with a firm dil­do as thick (or thick­er than) a soda can, and I respect that.

Even if I could request a big­ger Xenuphora, I prob­a­bly wouldn't, unless I could get a squishi­er one. The one I have was cast in 10A Shore (springy but not squishy) hard­ness sil­i­cone. In this size, I think the firm­ness is per­fect for bring­ing out plen­ty of deli­cious, tar­get­ed pres­sure from the head's points, along with some gen­er­al­ized but con­sis­tent "OMFG" from the rows of suc­tion cups.

The Xenuphora's Quizzical Suction Cup Placement

I don't com­plete­ly under­stand why the suc­tion cups are on the out­side of the osten­si­ble G‑spot curve. Not when surface-​level back wall stim­u­la­tion doesn't do much for me. But I dig using the curve for deep pres­sure against my back wall.

You might remem­ber me talk­ing about the per­ineal sponge way back in my Chrystalino Champ review. Perineal sponge (PS-​spot) stim­u­la­tion is like mas­sag­ing my but­t­hole through my back vagi­nal wall. And the tech­nique is akin to tar­get­ing the G‑spot but on the oppo­site side of the vagi­na— high­ly intu­itive with the Uberrime Xenuphora's gen­tle curve. (Side note: press­ing a more severe­ly curved G‑spot dil­do against my back wall feels a bit like I need to poo.)

To be clear, PS-​spot mas­sage mere­ly feels pleas­ant to me. Alone, it's not enough to make me come. But when I angle the Xenuphora so that the curve tar­gets that spot on my back wall, the ten­ta­cle suc­tion cups also slide along my front wall and cli­toris. And that is a har­mo­nious symphony.

Shallow vs. Deep Penetration With the Xenuphora

Most of the Uberrime Xenuphora's strengths, like the suc­tion cups and spear-​like head, shine their bright­est dur­ing shal­low inser­tion. Once you go deep­er, there are two main attrac­tions: the sharp­er edges, and the bumps on the base.

The clos­er you get to the base, the sharp­er the edges get. At their sharpest, we're talk­ing the thick­ness of a sheet of card­board. But that doesn't mean they feel harsh by my stan­dards. Quite the con­trary— because they're so thin, they're flex­i­ble and yielding.

It's also hard to miss the raised bumps on the base. I have a very aver­age clit-​vag gap of one inch, which lines up per­fect­ly with the bump on the suc­tion cup side for nudg­ing and twist­ing. And even if the Xenuphora doesn't align with your anato­my as neat­ly as mine, its shaft is bendy enough that you could finesse it to fit your exter­nal junk.

Most times I'm using the Xenuphora, though, I'm not thrust­ing it all the way. Twisting, maybe. But push­ing it against my "go hard or go home" deep spots doesn't do jus­tice to the Xenuphora's contours.

Cleaning the Uberrime Xenuphora

It's true: the surface's intri­ca­cies hide much vag gunk. I rec­om­mend get­ting a soft-​bristled tooth­brush for clean­ing the nooks and cran­nies. A pain in the ass? Maybe a bit, but the suc­tion cups are only on one face of the dildo's shaft. It doesn't take much time to scrub them.

If you're more scrupu­lous, though, you could also boil the sil­i­cone for 5–10 min­utes to kill germs.

Final Thoughts on the Uberrime Xenuphora Tentacle Dildo

I liked this dil­do way more than I expect­ed to. Usually, I reach for more mas­sive, firmer, and smoother dil­dos, but the Xenuphora is crisp and bal­anced. I've sel­dom encoun­tered dil­dos with such defined ver­ti­cals as the Xenuphora's before.

Though the pres­sure is very focused, many of the more pro­nounced land­marks are well-​spaced, giv­ing me fine-​tuned con­trol of the sen­sa­tion against my front wall. If you like twist­ing and cir­cling tex­tures, this dildo's angles are for you.

The waves on the flat­tened sides also feel very and flow­ing to my fin­gers. I've made molds and poured casts before in under­grad, and I can imag­ine how med­i­ta­tive it was for Marco to press and drag his fin­gers along the mod­el­ing mate­r­i­al to form the dips.

Everything about the Uberrime Xenuphora screams, "Play with me!" It's play­ful for the eyes, fun for the hands to play with, and sure to bring play­ful explo­rations to those who love big, struc­tur­al vari­a­tions in their sex toys.

Get the Uberrime Xenuphora at Peepshow Toys for 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE or read more of my Uberrime dil­do reviews.

I Recommend the Uberrime Xenuphora to Those Who…

• enjoy sharp and defined tex­tures internally
• like squish­ing off their exter­nal bits on tex­tured silicone
• pre­fer shal­low penetration
• want a modestly-​sized fan­ta­sy dildo

I Would Not Recommend the Xenuphora to Those Who…

• need firm, intense pressure
• pre­fer very round­ed tex­tures and broad bumps
• seek a sub­stan­tial stretch
• want a G‑spot head that promi­nent­ly juts out
• pre­fer a longer, smoother dildo

Thank You, Peepshow Toys!

Peepshow Toys sent me the Uberrime Xenuphora ten­ta­cle dil­do in exchange for my hon­est and freely-​given review. There are plen­ty of pret­ty dils I want­ed to love but felt "meh" about. The Xenuphora, though? Nothing but love for it.

Further Reading

• Browse my past Uberrime Dildo reviews
  • The Damn Alien is anoth­er average-​sized fan­ta­sy dildo!
• Other alien-​themed dil­dos I love: 
  • NS Firefly Glass G‑Spot Wand
  • Bob the Alien from Boutique Voila
  • Uberrime Alien Probe Thing
• Unique sex toys for the col­lec­tor who has everything