by Super Smash Cache · Published September 1, 2018 · Last modified May 24, 2025
"Health care gadgets," read the customs label when I ordered my first dildos. $16 for two, shipped from China, paid with a Visa gift card I loaded up because I was too young to have a credit card. Imagine the…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 25, 2018 · Last modified May 22, 2025
The Uberrime Night King dildo feels like it was made just for me. I have all but died and come back to earth from heaven. I'd clutch it hissing, "PRECIOUS" if anyone tried to take it. Because, if you love…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 24, 2018 · Last modified July 28, 2024
When it comes to sex toys, I'm always starry-eyed and swayed easily by the new and novel. Maybe to a fault. My curiosity got the best of me when I saw the Pretty Love Dylan— a cheap G‑spot vibrator…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 14, 2018 · Last modified May 6, 2025
The njoy Pure Plug Large's perfection is the reason I seldom do butt plug reviews. Until I try another plug that's genuinely and amazingly unique, the Pure Plug is on its own tier. Worthy of being buried with me…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 10, 2018 · Last modified July 28, 2024
The Temptasia Elvira is one of the best, budget-friendly body-safe dildos. Its silicone is buttery-smooth with very little drag, it's girthy, and the coronal ridge is well-defined. The design is in many ways minimal, but enough to stimulate my…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 9, 2018 · Last modified July 28, 2024
There are few vibrators as cheeky in design as the Darling Devil. Fun Factory's past muses have included ocean waves, flowers, and vulvas, but this one best epitomizes Fun Factory's playful experimentation with shape and color. This Fun Factory Darling…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 22, 2018 · Last modified January 18, 2024
Reviewing this vibrator brings me all the remorse of hooking up with an ex, and more. In 2016, I fell for all the MysteryVibe Crescendo's dreamy promises. Bending into any shape I wanted it to. 6 totally customizable motors to…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 14, 2018 · Last modified July 28, 2024
"No other vibrator of this size compares to the orgasm-inducing vibrations of [the Exposed Nocturnal] bullet," says Blush Novelties' website. The claim is so brazen that it would be meaningless if any other company had stated it. As a…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 9, 2018 · Last modified September 15, 2024
Some sex toys are so good that I struggle to write more than, "This toy is amazing. Buy it. You don't need to read beyond this point, but I need to add more words. Words words words words words."…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 12, 2018 · Last modified July 24, 2024
I've lately been spoiled with one fantastic sex toy after another; the Tantus Tsunami is a total grand slam. I'm in love. After a rocky (but improving) relationship with textured toys, the Tsunami has helped me level up. The beautiful Bound's…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 6, 2018 · Last modified June 4, 2025
Before using your Pure Wand, apologize to your neighbors in advance for all the screaming. Have some towels ready, even if you think you can't squirt. Maybe set aside some time to fully appreciate pounding your G‑spot to oblivion…
by Super Smash Cache · Published May 29, 2018 · Last modified July 24, 2024
The Zumio is the absolute closest a clitoral toy has ever come to being an "instant orgasm" button for me. I'd never before tried anything so dizzyingly pinpointed, so adept at targeting that specific point on the right side of…