The Clitoris's Similarities to the Penis: Deeper Than You Think!

How often have you heard the bull­shit that female anato­my is con­fus­ing? Or worse, that male orgasms are a giv­en, while female orgasms are dis­tant and otherworldly?

I'm here to tell you that vulvas and vaginas aren't especially complicated.

They might be tucked away and less con­spic­u­ous than penis­es, but over­all, they're sim­i­lar (and sen­si­tive!) tis­sues in a dif­fer­ent shape. These dif­fer­ences arise in response to hor­mones, but there's a lot of over­lap in the under­ly­ing "wiring."

A friend in medical school compared genitals to Legos: the same building blocks but a different arrangement.

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Homologous Tissues Among Sex Organs

As human embryos grow, all genitalia starts developing via the same pathway.

Sex organ homol­o­gy goes so much deep­er than the cli­toris — both lit­er­al­ly and figuratively.

For starters, the pea-​sized bump most peo­ple know as the cli­toris is just the tip of the ice­berg. A 4‑inch-​long cli­toris is not an out­lier; that's quite aver­age, but most of it is inter­nal. It has a wishbone-​like struc­ture and "bulbs" that wrap around the sides of the vagi­na. And, like a penis, it engorges when aroused.

Take a look at the sex organ homology diagram below.

You could think of the cli­toris as a mostly-​internal penis or a penis as a mostly-​external cli­toris. If the draw­ing looks like a Pokémon evo­lu­tion to you, you're not alone.

To sum up just a few of the sex organ homologies:

• The exter­nal cli­toris is like the glans/​head of the penis.
  • A LOT of nerve end­ings are con­cen­trat­ed here!
• The cli­toral hood is like the fore­skin.
  • "Prepuce" is a tech­ni­cal name for both.
• The "legs" and "bulbs" of the cli­toris are like the penile shaft.
• The scro­tal sac is like the labia majora
• The testes are like the ovaries.

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What Sex Organ Homology Means in the Context of Pleasure

When it comes to playtime, it can be helpful to:

• Look past pre­con­ceived ideas of dif­fer­ences between sets of gen­i­talia.
• Celebrate dif­fer­ences in what indi­vid­u­als enjoy in the bedroom

Still with me? Here are some real-​life examples.

Why do straight women statistically have a harder time orgasming during partner play?

Imagine a hand-​job where ONLY the tip of the penis gets rubbed.

Many peo­ple with penis­es CAN orgasm that way, sure. However, many pre­fer hav­ing the entire cock and balls stroked, too. Likewise, many peo­ple with vul­vas can orgasm by rub­bing the cli­toral glans alone. However, some may pre­fer or need to pair that with pen­e­tra­tion or out­er labia massage.

Now think of the reverse: ONLY the penile shaft gets stroked.

That brings a small­er group of peo­ple to cli­max. It would be ludi­crous to tell a cis man that stim­u­lat­ing the shaft alone is supe­ri­or to stroking his entire cock.

But that's not much different from placing penetration-​only female orgasms on a pedestal.

Vaginal inter­course most­ly stim­u­lates the (inter­nal) cli­toral vestibules and cru­ra, while often over­look­ing the glans.

To view cunnilingus, fingerbanging/​rubbing, and partnered toy usage as "the appetizer" or "extra effort" is a disservice.

Consider that between 55–85% of peo­ple with vagi­nas can't con­sis­tent­ly orgasm via pen­e­tra­tion alone. Among those who can, the fol­low­ing char­ac­ter­is­tics are common:

• A short-​to-​average clit-​vag gap
  • They can feel exter­nal rub­bing dur­ing intercourse.
• A pro­nounced inter­nal cli­toris or ure­thral sponge
  • That way, it's more eas­i­ly acces­si­ble via straight penetration.
  • Curved toys and fin­gers can get the job done bet­ter for some. More on that later.
• Accustomed to cervix stim­u­la­tion
  • The sen­sa­tion goes through a dif­fer­ent nerve path­way than cli­toral stimulation.

I'm in the small­er group of those who can orgasm via inter­course alone. But all the same, I want to advo­cate for a vari­ety of bod­ies and plea­sure pref­er­ences. Needing exter­nal stim­u­la­tion is normal.

Vibrators aren't just for single ciswomen!

Speaking of vari­ety, I wish peo­ple would be more open to incor­po­rat­ing a vibra­tor into part­ner play. And we're not just talk­ing about the petite ones that fit between bod­ies dur­ing mis­sion­ary intercourse.

WAND MASSAGERS FEEL GOOD AGAINST A PENIS TOO. If you think of a penis as a big cli­toris, the idea isn't that out there. I wrote whole oth­er blog posts about that:

• 3 Rumbly Blowjob Vibrators For Fantastic Fellatio: Manta, Vim & Bond Review
• 9 Ways to Use a Wand Massager with a Partner

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Going Deeper With Sponge Play: The G-Spot and Prostate

You may have heard peo­ple describe the prostate as the "male G‑spot," locat­ed in the but­t­hole. Or that the G‑spot is the female prostate. There's truth to both statements.

In either case, we're talking about spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra.

In peo­ple with vagi­nas, that includes the Skene's/paraurethral glands. Like the male prostate, the Skene's glands secrete prostate-​specific antigen.

Also, don't think of the ure­thral sponge as "in" the but­t­hole, but acces­si­ble via the rec­tal wall. That's also true for peo­ple with penis­es and peo­ple with vagi­nas. It's just that the lat­ter group has anoth­er, more direct hole you could play with.

What's up with all the debate around the G‑spot?

Plenty of peo­ple with vagi­nas expe­ri­ence plea­sure via shal­low front wall stim­u­la­tion. That part isn't up for debate.

The arguments mostly come down to pedantic semantics.

See, the G‑spot isn't a dis­tinct organ or "instant orgasm" but­ton. Rather than a spot, it's more like the gen­er­al area where the ure­thral sponge and inter­nal cli­toris are most plea­sur­ably sen­si­tive to touch.

Descriptions online tend to say the G‑spot 3–4 inch­es inside the vagi­nal canal, but that's more of a gen­er­al guide­line. Mine is far shal­low­er, about 1.5" in. Feel around for the pubic bone and spongey tis­sue. Seek a reac­tion of plea­sure, not a set measurement.

Stimulating the prostate, urethral sponge, and perineum

Prostate mas­sagers have one main thing in com­mon: a curve that aims for­ward to press against the sponge. One prime exam­ple is the njoy pure wand, which deliv­ers intense G‑spot and prostate stimulation.

Fingers can also stimulate the prostate by:

• Hooking and mak­ing a "come hith­er" motion
• Making tiny twist­ing motions with the fin­gers bent
• Massaging exter­nal­ly between the anus and scrotum

To build on that last point, peo­ple with vul­vas can stim­u­late anoth­er eroge­nous zone via the back wall: the per­ineal sponge. My favorite toy for that is the Chrystalino Champ, though dil­dos with bulky, tex­tured bases can mas­sage it exter­nal­ly, too.

Ultimately, sex toys are just tools to add to your arse­nal. It's like dri­ving a car instead of walk­ing to your des­ti­na­tion: faster and more focused, but not nec­es­sar­i­ly better.

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Let's Wrap It Up!

I'll repeat it: I don't buy into the idea that a cli­toris is more com­pli­cat­ed than a penis. There might be a broad cul­tur­al stig­ma to the spelunk­ing, but shame doesn't have to lim­it your exploration.

Remember: the clitoris is the only known human organ that solely exists for the sake of pleasure.

If vul­vas are your thing, show your love for all of the cli­toris, from its root­ed legs to its peek­ing head.

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This post was spon­sored. As always, the words expressed here are my own. The exter­nal links don't nec­es­sar­i­ly reflect my views.

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