3 Must-Have Pleasure Products For Couples: Tongue-Tied, Wicked Jelle, & The Layer

Ignite the pas­sion and keep it going. While I love using toys to spice it up, this list is about oth­er sul­try acces­sories and add-​ons that cou­ples would espe­cial­ly adore.

In this mini-review round-up:

Tongue-​Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships
Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle water-based lube, The Layer waterproof sex blanket, and Tongue-Tied by Stella Harris Review

First up, we have Tongue-​Tied by Stella Harris. It's a sex-​positive, kink-​positive, feminist-​friendly tool for bet­ter, more fan­tas­ti­cal sex and incred­i­ble intimacy.

With Tongue-Tied's empha­sis on much break­ing down assump­tions, you won't encounter any game-​playing bull­shit — just depth in con­ver­sa­tion and close­ness with your partner(s).

Jump to my Tongue-​Tied by Stella Harris review.

Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle — best water-​based personal lubricant

This lube is my cur­rent absolute favorite. Find out why I love Wicked Aqua Jelle so much.

The Layer: the best waterproof sex towel

If wet­ter is bet­ter for you, you might want The Layer to pro­tect your sheets (or couch, or friend's fetish fur­ni­ture). One side is faux-​leather for a styl­ish but water­proof shield, while the oth­er is organ­ic fleece for absorb­ing some of your biggest messes.

Jump to my review of The Layer mat­tress protector.

Tongue-Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris

Yes, finally! A relationship advice book that I don't hate!
Tongue-Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris — a review

Tongue-​Tied by Stella Harris is a rich, required read­ing for just about any pairing.

It's our respon­si­bil­i­ty to advo­cate for our needs and wants. Problems pop up, though, when we pre­sup­pose that our beliefs about sex­u­al­i­ty and rela­tion­ships are com­mon sense. From minor grudge flash­points to atom­ic mis­un­der­stand­ings, we often make assump­tions about what oth­ers believe and "should" do.

When you get crystal-​clear about what you desire and what that looks like, you can have the sex and love life of your dreams. Envision it and make it hap­pen. The "how" is bro­ken down in such gran­u­lar detail that even just one of the book's pre-​written guides and lists can take your sex life to the next lev­el. Use Stella Harris's Tongue-​Tied as a tem­plate for a sexy truth-​or-​dare with your partner(s).

In her book, Tongue-​Tied, Stella Harris breaks down:
  • Discussing a yes/​no/​maybe list
  • Exploring and nego­ti­at­ing kink scenes
  • A check­list for three-​ways and group sex 
  • Ways to explore sex­u­al fantasies
  • Having dif­fi­cult conversations
  • Validating and advo­cat­ing for sex and rela­tion­ship needs
  • Practicing self-​awareness about our assumptions
  • Defining and clar­i­fy­ing where oth­ers are com­ing from
  • Check-​ins at any rela­tion­ship stage
  • Addressing trig­gers and lim­it­ing beliefs
  • Setting per­son­al bound­aries and limits
Tongue-​Tied is also free of:
  • Gender essen­tialisms — Stella doesn't make assump­tions about what men and women are like
  • Heteronormativity — the advice is queer-​positive and inclusive
  • The monogamy esca­la­tor as a default — some peo­ple don't want that, and it's okay
  • One-​size-​fits-​all "cures"

We're not doing that. The whole point of this book is that there are nuances and dif­fer­ent per­spec­tives all around. To give one exam­ple, it even out­right says:

[Dating follow-​ups and check-​ins] are one area where com­mon dat­ing advice real­ly goes off the rails and encour­ages harm­ful game-​playing […] Any advice that says there's one way to do things is encour­ag­ing you to be less than genuine.

As I often say, MUTHAFUCKIN' THANK YOU! Tongue-​Tied is such a refresh­ing rela­tion­ship advice book that's queer-​positive, kink-​positive, poly-​positive, and so many oth­er good things — acknowl­edg­ing the diver­si­ty in people's desires. I can't rec­om­mend it enough for those seek­ing authen­tic­i­ty in their partnerships.

Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle water-based personal lubricant with aloe

If you can't make your own WAP, store-​bought is fine.
Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle and Hybrid Lubricant

Lube enhances every­thing about sex, from slick hand­jobs to deep-​throating to penis-​in-​vag. It's DEFINITELY a must-​have when doing butt stuff or con­sum­ing huge dil­dos. I have opin­ions on what's the best per­son­al lubri­cant for each task, but as far as all-​arounders go, it's hard to beat Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle.

It's super thick and honey-​like, form­ing a "string" when I put it between my fin­gers and pull them apart. Wicked Aqua Jelle is even more vis­cous than Sliquid Sassy, my for­mer favorite.

The ingre­di­ents are like the best of Sliquid and Hathor/​SUTIL com­bined: plant-​based propane­di­ol with extra cot­ton cel­lu­lose. And to make it even more eco-​friendly, the plas­tic tube is recyclable.

This lubri­cant adheres so well to the toys I use; drip­ping rarely hap­pens unless you're pil­ing it on some seri­ous curves and under­cuts. 99% of the time, it just slides down the shaft. Get Wicked Aqua Jelle from Peepshow Toys.

The Layer: a waterproof sex towel for periods, squirting, jizz, and more!

Speaking of lube dripping…

The Layer is my new favorite Squirt Blanket, dethron­ing the Liberator Fascinator Throe. It's super use­ful for con­tain­ing body flu­ids of all sorts dur­ing sexy times. No shame — just try­ing to keep the sheets clean!

I like that, in addi­tion to being water­proof, The Layer sex tow­el is super-​absorbent and com­pact. See, the Liberator Fascinator is styl­ish with its satin and velvish fin­ish­es, but it's still clunky and essen­tial­ly a fan­cy tarp.

In con­trast, The Layer's 40" diam­e­ter can fold up and fit into a moderately-​sized purse, which is far more con­ve­nient than an actu­al black tow­el. Take it with you on a date or while traveling.

The Layer nails the del­i­cate bal­ance between being absorbent on the fleece side and water­proof on the faux-​leather polyurethane side. The flu­ids stay on top but don't slide off. Empty a water bot­tle on it — your sheets are still safe. I can see on the oth­er side where it's wet, but the juices won't soak through.

The Layer cotton fleece and polyurethane faux-leather
The Layer sex blan­ket is made of organ­ic cot­ton fleece and polyurethane faux-leather

Say you're pos­sessed to pour a gal­lon of water on The Layer. As long as the edges are slight­ly ele­vat­ed so that liq­uid drips toward the center.

When you're done with The Layer, pre­soak it, throw it in the wash­ing machine on a gen­tle cycle, and dry it. If you'd like, you can san­i­tize the polyurethane faux-​leather side.

What's more? It costs less than the Liberator Fascinator Throe, and you can take an addi­tion­al 10% off with my coupon code, SUPERSMASHCACHE at Peepshow Toys, tak­ing the price down.

Imagine peri­od sex on white sheets, con­ve­nient­ly con­tain­ing cum stains, fla­grant squirt­ing dur­ing a roman­tic get­away, or pil­ing lube on lube on lube on your biggest dil­dos. Invest in your com­fort and a more luxe sex expe­ri­ence. Get The Layer.

Sound off!

What dat­ing advice books have helped you the most? What's your favorite way to add — or con­tain — wet­ness in the bedroom?

Further reading

Sultry Body Care: My Favorite Lube, CBD, Pheromones, Condoms, Massage & More! Find more love­ly lotions and potions for my gad­gets and giz­mos and beyond. <3

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2 Responses

  1. Frankie says:

    You say that Wiked Aqua Jelle is like the best of Sliquid amd SUTIL com­bined. But how long-​lasting is it com­pared to them?

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