3 Must-Have Pleasure Products For Couples: Tongue-Tied, Wicked Jelle, & The Layer
Sex toys are a fantastic way for couples to ignite their passion and keep it going. Partners can use potentially any type of toy on each other, but this list is for other spicy things that couples would especially adore.
In this mini-review round-up:
Tongue-Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships
First up, we have Tongue-Tied by Stella Harris. It's a sex-positive, kink-positive, feminist-friendly tool for better, more fantastical sex and incredible intimacy.
With Tongue-Tied's emphasis on much breaking down assumptions, you won't encounter any game-playing bullshit — just depth in conversation and closeness with your partner(s).
Jump to my Tongue-Tied by Stella Harris review.
Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle — best water-based personal lubricant
This lube is my current absolute favorite. Find out why I love Wicked Aqua Jelle so much.
The Layer: the best waterproof sex towel
If wetter is better for you, you might want The Layer to protect your sheets (or couch, or friend's fetish furniture). One side is faux-leather for a stylish but waterproof shield, while the other is organic fleece for absorbing some of your biggest messes.
Jump to my review of The Layer mattress protector.
Tongue-Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris
Yes, finally! A relationship advice book that I don't hate!
Tongue-Tied by Stella Harris is a rich required reading for just about any pairing.
Like many of the best advice books, its premise is deceptively simple: when you get crystal-clear about what you desire and what that looks like, you can have the sex and love life of your dreams. Envision it and make it happen.
It's our responsibility to advocate for our needs and wants. Problems pop up, though, when we presuppose that our beliefs about sexuality and relationships are common sense. From minor grudge flashpoints to atomic misunderstandings, we often make assumptions about what others believe and "should" do.
This book is so dense yet down-to-earth. It's perfect for those who are new to the dating world, but people of any experience level can get their money's worth from Stella Harris's Tongue-Tied. Even just one of the book's pre-written guides and lists can take your sex life to the next level. Use it as a template a sexy truth-or-dare with your partner(s).
In her book, Tongue-Tied, Stella Harris breaks down:
- Discussing a yes/no/maybe list
- Exploring and negotiating kink scenes
- A checklist for three-ways and group sex
- I'm not always into that, but you do you!
- Ways to explore sexual fantasies
- Having difficult conversations
- Validating and advocating for sex and relationship needs
- Practicing self-awareness about our assumptions
- Defining and clarifying where others are coming from
- Check-ins at any relationship stage
- Addressing triggers and limiting beliefs
- Setting personal boundaries and limits
Tongue-Tied is also free of:
- Gender essentialisms — Stella doesn't make assumptions about what men and women are like
- Heteronormativity — the advice is queer-positive and inclusive
- The monogamy escalator as a default — some people don't want that, and it's okay
- One-size-fits-all "cures"
We're not doing that. The whole point of this book is that there are nuances and different perspectives all around. To give one example, it even outright says:
[Dating follow-ups and check-ins] are one area where common dating advice really goes off the rails and encourages harmful game-playing […] Any advice that says there's one way to do things is encouraging you to be less than genuine.
As I often say, MUTHAFUCKIN' THANK YOU! Tongue-Tied is such a refreshing relationship advice book that's queer-positive, kink-positive, poly-positive, and so many other good things — acknowledging the diversity in people's desires. I can't recommend it enough for those seeking authenticity in their partnerships.
Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle water-based personal lubricant with aloe
If you can't make your own WAP, store-bought is fine.
Lube enhances everything about sex, from slick handjobs to deep-throating to penis-in-vag. It's DEFINITELY a must-have when doing butt stuff or consuming huge dildos. I have opinions on what's the best personal lubricant for each task, but as far as all-arounders go, it's hard to beat Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle.
It's super thick and honey-like, forming a "string" when I put it between my fingers and pull them apart. Wicked Aqua Jelle is even more viscous than Sliquid Sassy, my former favorite.
The ingredients are like the best of Sliquid and Hathor/SUTIL combined: plant-based propanediol with extra cotton cellulose. And to make it even more eco-friendly, the plastic tube is recyclable.
This lubricant adheres so well to the toys I use; dripping rarely happens unless you're piling it on some serious curves and undercuts. 99% of the time, it just slides down the shaft. Get Wicked Aqua Jelle from Peepshow Toys.
The Layer: a waterproof sex towel for periods, squirting, jizz, and more!
Speaking of lube dripping…
The Layer is my new favorite Squirt Blanket, dethroning the Liberator Fascinator Throe. It's super useful for containing body fluids of all sorts during sexy times. No shame — just trying to keep the sheets clean!
I like that, in addition to being waterproof, The Layer sex towel is super-absorbent and compact. See, the Liberator Fascinator is stylish with its satin and velvish finishes, but it's still clunky and essentially a fancy tarp.
In contrast, The Layer's 40" diameter can fold up and fit into a moderately-sized purse, which is far more convenient than an actual black towel. Take it with you on a date or while traveling.
The Layer nails the delicate balance between being absorbent on the fleece side and waterproof on the faux-leather polyurethane side. The fluids stay on top but don't slide off. Empty a water bottle on it — your sheets are still safe. I can see on the other side where it's wet, but the juices won't soak through.
Say you're possessed to pour a gallon of water on The Layer. As long as the edges are slightly elevated so that liquid drips toward the center.
When you're done with The Layer, presoak it, throw it in the washing machine on a gentle cycle, and dry it. If you'd like, you can sanitize the polyurethane faux-leather side.
What's more? It costs $30 less than the Liberator Fascinator Throe, and you can take an additional 10% off with my coupon code, SUPERSMASHCACHE at Peepshow Toys, taking the price down to $54.
Imagine period sex on white sheets, conveniently containing cum stains, flagrant squirting during a romantic getaway, or piling lube on lube on lube on your biggest dildos. Invest in your comfort and a more luxe sex experience. Get The Layer.
What dating advice books have helped you the most? What's your favorite way to add — or contain — wetness in the bedroom?
You say that Wiked Aqua Jelle is like the best of Sliquid amd SUTIL combined. But how long-lasting is it compared to them?
Honestly, I don't bother testing lube longevity. I usually either cum really quickly or keep a spray bottle full of water to reactivate.