Viben Fierce review: mini wand massager

Dear Viben Fierce wand,

You had so much poten­tial, but that’s a mere mirage when faced with a fatal flaw.

The orange flags were there all along.

Viben Fierce cordless compact mini wand vibrator massager with 5 speeds

I was unsure if I would like you from the pack­ag­ing and pre­sen­ta­tion alone, but I gave you a chance, open to being pleas­ant­ly sur­prised, and my intu­ition was right.

I def­i­nite­ly felt some­thing, but inten­si­ty and exper­i­men­ta­tion mean noth­ing in the long run with­out tem­per­ance or sta­bil­i­ty. And with that kind of red flag, I don’t give a fuck about the parts of you that you think all the ladies want.

UGH! I just cannot with the Viben Fierce vibrator’s control panel

In all fair­ness, I should have looked at the Tinder bio prod­uct info page more close­ly. It was explic­it about what I was get­ting myself into:

To use the Viben Fierce: First, hold down the pow­er but­ton for 3 full sec­onds. To decrease vibra­tion inten­si­ty, tap the top but­ton (near the wand head). Continue press­ing to move toward the low­est vibra­tion strength.

Viben Fierce rechargeable silicone wand vibrator

That’s right: this wand starts at the high­est inten­si­ty by default, and one but­ton turns it down. Once you reach the bot­tom speed, it loops back: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 5… If you want to start low-and-slow and grad­u­al­ly esca­late, the Viben Fierce mas­sager is not for you.

What do the oth­er but­tons do? The bot­tom one turns vibra­tions on and off. The mid­dle one cycles through 25 (!!!) pat­terns. In this house­hold, we call it what it is — not “mixed mes­sages,” but con­sis­tent­ly inconsistent.

If it’s already veered off track, there’s no quick way back to going steady; this vibrator’s mem­o­ry chip stays on the most recent func­tion used. That means once you get into a pat­tern, even if you shut it down and start it again, you’d have to click through the rest of the rhythms to return to how things were in the beginning.

If you’re into using the Morse code set­tings to edge, cool, but that’s just not what this salty-ass pil­low princess wants. My fuck­ables should take direc­tions well to serve me or GTFO.

But there’s some­one for every­one every sex toy, right? Ehh…

Viben Fierce mini wand vibration intensity

Does the Viben Fierce massager have any redeeming qualities?

To this cord­less wand vibrator’s credit:

  • It’s com­pact at 1.75” wide, 9 inch­es long, and 7 oz., with a nice size-to-strength ratio for pair­ing with penetration.
  • It’s strong and rumbly, splash­ing when dipped in water. The wide speed range mea­sures between 44 and 111 Hz — a deep purr to a quick zing.
  • There’s some flex­i­bil­i­ty in the neck, but not too, too much. It’s accom­mo­dat­ing but not flimsy.

Basically, the hard­ware sounds great on paper, but in practice:

  • The pro­gram­ming leaves some­thing to be desired.
  • The resid­ual vibra­tion in the han­dle is quite irritating.
  • We have bet­ter options.
Viben Fierce mini wand vibrator neck flexibility

What mini wand vibrator I’d recommend getting instead

While I called the Magic Wand Mini “non­com­mit­tal,” I still like it way more and find it more reli­able than the Viben Fierce. You know exact­ly what inten­si­ty you’ll get, and you’ll call the shots — no jolty up-and-down roller-coasters. 

However, if a fire destroyed my vibra­tor col­lec­tion, and I had to choose just one com­pact wand, I’d set­tle on the Lovense Domi 2. It’s high-maintenance and comes with its own issues (expen­sive and some users report a high break and replace­ment rate), but the purring pow­er, ver­sa­til­i­ty, and con­trols are worth it to me. I’ve nev­er had a prob­lem with mine.

If you want a com­par­i­son of full-sized recharge­able wands, I’ve writ­ten on that top­ic, too.

Closing thoughts on the Viben Fierce rechargeable wand vibrator

Why did I bother?

Should this be a les­son in self-trust?

Should I just accept that hard­ly any­thing impress­es me anymore?

I just can’t set­tle for the Viben Fierce when I know there’s bet­ter out there.

2 Responses

  1. The salt is so good in this piece, I don’t think I need to use any on my food today haha. Thanks for putting in the work so I don’t f&ck up and buy this toy for myself. You’re the real MVP

  2. Chris says:

    Very infor­ma­tive!
    Looking for a new toy for when I’ve got friends over after the wifey goes to work
    Had been con­sid­er­ing this one, this is fan­tas­tic info!
    Thanks!

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