Viben Fierce review: mini wand massager
Dear Viben Fierce wand,
You had so much potential, but that’s a mere mirage when faced with a fatal flaw.
The orange flags were there all along.
I was unsure if I would like you from the packaging and presentation alone, but I gave you a chance, open to being pleasantly surprised, and my intuition was right.
I definitely felt something, but intensity and experimentation mean nothing in the long run without temperance or stability. And with that kind of red flag, I don’t give a fuck about the parts of you that you think all the ladies want.
UGH! I just cannot with the Viben Fierce vibrator’s control panel
In all fairness, I should have looked at the
Tinder bio product info page more closely. It was explicit about what I was getting myself into:
To use the Viben Fierce: First, hold down the power button for 3 full seconds. To decrease vibration intensity, tap the top button (near the wand head). Continue pressing to move toward the lowest vibration strength.
That’s right: this wand starts at the highest intensity by default, and one button turns it down. Once you reach the bottom speed, it loops back: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 5… If you want to start low-and-slow and gradually escalate, the Viben Fierce massager is not for you.
What do the other buttons do? The bottom one turns vibrations on and off. The middle one cycles through 25 (!!!) patterns. In this household, we call it what it is — not “mixed messages,” but consistently inconsistent.
If it’s already veered off track, there’s no quick way back to going steady; this vibrator’s memory chip stays on the most recent function used. That means once you get into a pattern, even if you shut it down and start it again, you’d have to click through the rest of the rhythms to return to how things were in the beginning.
If you’re into using the Morse code settings to edge, cool, but that’s just not what this salty-ass pillow princess wants. My fuckables should take directions well to serve me or GTFO.
But there’s someone for
everyone every sex toy, right? Ehh…
Does the Viben Fierce massager have any redeeming qualities?
To this cordless wand vibrator’s credit:
- It’s compact at 1.75” wide, 9 inches long, and 7 oz., with a nice size-to-strength ratio for pairing with penetration.
- It’s strong and rumbly, splashing when dipped in water. The wide speed range measures between 44 and 111 Hz — a deep purr to a quick zing.
- There’s some flexibility in the neck, but not too, too much. It’s accommodating but not flimsy.
Basically, the hardware sounds great on paper, but in practice:
- The programming leaves something to be desired.
- The residual vibration in the handle is quite irritating.
- We have better options.
What mini wand vibrator I’d recommend getting instead
While I called the Magic Wand Mini “noncommittal,” I still like it way more and find it more reliable than the Viben Fierce. You know exactly what intensity you’ll get, and you’ll call the shots — no jolty up-and-down roller-coasters.
However, if a fire destroyed my vibrator collection, and I had to choose just one compact wand, I’d settle on the Lovense Domi 2. It’s high-maintenance and comes with its own issues (expensive and some users report a high break and replacement rate), but the purring power, versatility, and controls are worth it to me. I’ve never had a problem with mine.
If you want a comparison of full-sized rechargeable wands, I’ve written on that topic, too.
Closing thoughts on the Viben Fierce rechargeable wand vibrator
Why did I bother?
Should this be a lesson in self-trust?
Should I just accept that hardly anything impresses me anymore?
I just can’t settle for the Viben Fierce when I know there’s better out there.