Dildos vs. "The Real Thing": Which One I'd Rather Have
A dildo isn’t going to dance with one arm around my waist and the other hand pulling my hair, tilting my head for a kiss.
Sex toys don’t have juicy, parted pillow lips and tongues that “Yes, and” — kissing me harder in response to my biting and quivering.
In the bedroom, they don’t feel how wet I get through my panties and tease, “Awww, who did this to you?” before holding me tighter and whispering, “Tell me what you want. Use your words. I know you can do it.”
When I’m looking at the ceiling, throwing my head back, a sex toy isn’t going to cup the side of my face to guide eye contact. It won’t trace its thumb along my lips, telling me how pretty I look with my eyes glazed over.
“It’s okay, doll — you don’t have to say anything now.”
Sex toys don’t read my cues or dirty talk, telling me, “Look at me when you cum” while bringing fingers in deeper and pressing harder.
With a dildo, I can’t feel his warm chest against my face and his bony hips against my thighs when he’s on top.
A dildo isn’t going to slow-merge — my arms and legs around someone, and a penis stationed behind my cervix for seemingly forever, just shifting and rocking ever-so-slightly.
It won’t throb in sync with me when we cum together, eyes dilated in the dark.
Sex toys don’t make me laugh hard during pillow talk; my cunt contractions pushing out cum.
You can do so much for a partner's pleasure that a sex toy can't
When frequently asked questions for sex bloggers include:
- “But does it feel like the real thing?”
- “No man can compete with that.”
- “Can you even enjoy ‘regular’ sex anymore?”
I’d like to interject that someone who thinks that way is missing the point. It never was about sex toys vs. “the real thing” — because sex isn’t pure release, and sex toys aren’t people. Not even close.
Sex toys have come a long way, but are nowhere near replacing people
Yes, vibrators with pressure sensors and remote-controlled self-thrusting dildos are available, but they’re not precise, immersive, or interactive like an attentive partner who can riff with your kinks.
And, um, I’m not positioning an expensive, heavy-ass sex doll on top of me like dead weight.
Sex toys are comrades in pleasing a partner — not competition
If you use sex toys with a partner, you and that pleasure product are on the same team, boo!
Consider how someone highly skilled could use the following power tools — and love both the process and end result:
- Stand mixers perform a few specific tasks; they don’t replace the whole baker.
- Using power tools allows great carpenters to get things done faster.
- You can have a car but still enjoy hiking in nature with a date — which might include driving to a specific spot together and finishing on foot.
Enjoy the ride, the journey, the hike. Have fun with all of it!
This post contains a sponsored link. The writing and opinions expressed here are my own.
Further reading about using pleasure products with a partner
- To Rock My World, Stop Asking, "Did You Cum?"
- 5 Ways to Intensify Sex With CBD Arousal Lube
- Jute Rope & Wax Play BDSM Sensation Kit Review
- Ejaculating Dildos: POP by Tantus vs. Strap-On-Me Comparison
PLEASURE PRINCESS. COMPACT, HIGH-CAPACITY HUMAN. CERVIX SORCERESS.
I've tested over 350 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A‑spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.
Mesmerizing mindfucking or physical fisting? Blowing men or minds? Opening books or legs? Why not all of the above?
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