Category: Reviews

Fucking Myself With Luscious Playthings' 8" Glass Dildo 1

Fucking Myself With Luscious Playthings' 8" Glass Dildo

Slick, smooth, sub­lime sen­sa­tions for my slit and cervix. I love it deep, and I was enchant­ed when Luscious Playthings cus­tomized this glass dil­do to my spec­i­fi­ca­tions for stroking my deep­est spots: I just want­ed effort­less cer­vi­cal orgasms. I…

Doxy Die Cast R Review: Most Powerful Rechargeable Wand?! 2

Doxy Die Cast R Review: Most Powerful Rechargeable Wand?!

I’ve wait­ed for the Doxy Die Cast Rechargeable for so long. Full-​​sized head for seis­mic, vulva-​​convulsing, inter­nal clit-​​rattling vibra­tions. Cordless for going from date night to “plea­sure tor­ture” play night — with just the press of a but­ton. No nearby…

How the Fun Factory Vim Became My Favorite Cordless Wand 3

How the Fun Factory Vim Became My Favorite Cordless Wand

Upon turn­ing on FUN FACTORY’s VIM wand, I only thought two words: “Oh, fuu­u­u­u­u­u­uck.”  It imme­di­ate­ly emanat­ed a deep, res­o­nant purr, evok­ing a friend's “holy shit” reac­tion, even at the first set­ting. Throbbing. Thrumming. Imagine you’re at a music…

KinkyPop Toys Thexomite Dildo Review: thick, INTENSE textures! 4

KinkyPop Toys Thexomite Dildo Review: thick, INTENSE textures!

This impos­ing mon­stros­i­ty is ready to raid your cave. Thexomite's "small" size, stand­ing 7.5" tall and 2.25" wide, is amply armored for appeas­ing the oth­er­wise insa­tiable. Its stacked plates are only for the most dar­ing cave spe­lunk­ers, eager to have…

Solina Mega Dildos Review: Dual-Density HYPER-REALISM! 5

Solina Mega Dildos Review: Dual-Density HYPER-REALISM!

I've been dream­ing of the Solina Mega cock line: hyper-​​realistic dual-​​density dil­dos with deli­cious squish, gradient-​​painted tips, and ver­dant veins — all at mod­est prices. (Solina's XXL dil­do retails for $69. Nice. And their Large is $39 — NICE!) The…

Uberrime Maxime vs. Vixskin Johnny Review: Girthy Realism 6

Uberrime Maxime vs. Vixskin Johnny Review: Girthy Realism

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BLUE Uberrime's Maxime dick­ma­tizes me into an alter­nate state, Googling “visions dur­ing inti­ma­cy” short­ly after fuck­ing myself (and fol­low­ing the search sug­ges­tion to “tran­scen­den­tal inti­ma­cy”). My beloved VixSkin Johnny, which has been with me…

Cute Cruelty Indigo Deep A-Spot Dildo Review 7

Cute Cruelty Indigo Deep A-Spot Dildo Review

This deli­cious­ly deep-​​dicking sweet treat won’t dent your wal­let. I thank it for its ser­vice for my cervix. Cute Cruelty’s Indigo A‑spotting dil­do has a love­ly length of 8 insertable inch­es — about 8.3” total if you include the…

The Orb Vibrator Review: PLASMA RAYS & Dual Motors?! 8

The Orb Vibrator Review: PLASMA RAYS & Dual Motors?!

I'm bring­ing back a 2008 neon pop bop to match this PLASMA NEON BALL VIBRATOR's ener­gy — because if this toy isn't a par­ty in your bed­room, I don't know what is.

(Actually, I do know, and I'll elab­o­rate on that, too. Hint: I've lit­er­al­ly made sparks fly.)

Corn Dildo Comparison: SquarePegToys vs. SelfDelve 9

Corn Dildo Comparison: SquarePegToys vs. SelfDelve

Get ready to be husked and thrust into ecsta­sy. This corn will but­ter you up and make you cream faster than you can say "shuck." Today’s corn stars are the SquarePegToys Cob a Squat — which I will endearingly…

Pepper Paramour Review: Deep A-Spot & Cervix Massager 10

Pepper Paramour Review: Deep A-Spot & Cervix Massager

I shud­dered, “Oh God oh fuck oh God oh fuck oh God oh fuck” in one breath upon insert­ing the Pepper Paramour and cum­ming instant­ly. Then I texted my friend, “I want to cry cum­ming on this new toy…

Funnze Clit Torture & Bondage Kit Review 11

Funnze Clit Torture & Bondage Kit Review

What did I get myself into this time? My nip­ples are super recep­tive to plea­sure and pain — bite or twist them hard enough, and I’ll cum instant­ly. It’s that obvi­ous. Meanwhile, I’ve learned that cli­toral tor­ture — in the…

Womanizer Next Review: 3D Air Pulse Oral Sex Simulator 12

Womanizer Next Review: 3D Air Pulse Oral Sex Simulator

Womanizer’s Premium 2 is for orgasm tor­ture; [the Womanizer] Next is for the soft and sen­su­al … caress­es and kiss­es on your clit. Womanizer’s unprece­dent­ed Climax Control fea­ture allows adjust­ment of air pulse depth — con­fronting an ear­ly crit­i­cism of…