The Clitoris's Similarities to the Penis: Deeper Than You Think!
How often have you heard the bullshit that female anatomy is confusing? Or worse, that male orgasms are a given, while female orgasms are distant and otherworldly?
I'm here to tell you that vulvas and vaginas aren't especially complicated.
They might be tucked away and less conspicuous than penises, but overall, they're similar (and sensitive!) tissues in a different shape. These differences arise in response to hormones, but there's a lot of overlap in the underlying "wiring."
A friend in medical school compared genitals to Legos: the same building blocks but a different arrangement.
Homologous Tissues Among Sex Organs
As human embryos grow, all genitalia starts developing via the same pathway.
Sex organ homology goes so much deeper than the clitoris — both literally and figuratively.
For starters, the pea-sized bump most people know as the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg. A 4‑inch-long clitoris is not an outlier; that's quite average, but most of it is internal. It has a wishbone-like structure and "bulbs" that wrap around the sides of the vagina. And, like a penis, it engorges when aroused.
Take a look at the sex organ homology diagram below.
You could think of the clitoris as a mostly-internal penis or a penis as a mostly-external clitoris. If the drawing looks like a Pokémon evolution to you, you're not alone.
To sum up just a few of the sex organ homologies:
- The external clitoris is like the glans/head of the penis.
- A LOT of nerve endings are concentrated here!
- The clitoral hood is like the foreskin.
- "Prepuce" is a technical name for both.
- The "legs" and "bulbs" of the clitoris are like the penile shaft.
- The scrotal sac is like the labia majora
- The testes are like the ovaries.
What Sex Organ Homology Means in the Context of Pleasure
When it comes to playtime, it can be helpful to:
- Look past preconceived ideas of differences between sets of genitalia.
- Celebrate differences in what individuals enjoy in the bedroom
Still with me? Here are some real-life examples.
Why do straight women statistically have a harder time orgasming during partner play?
Imagine a hand-job where ONLY the tip of the penis gets rubbed.
Many people with penises CAN orgasm that way, sure. However, many prefer having the entire cock and balls stroked, too. Likewise, many people with vulvas can orgasm by rubbing the clitoral glans alone. However, some may prefer or need to pair that with penetration or outer labia massage.
Now think of the reverse: ONLY the penile shaft gets stroked.
That brings a smaller group of people to climax. It would be ludicrous to tell a cis man that stimulating the shaft alone is superior to stroking his entire cock.
But that's not much different from placing penetration-only female orgasms on a pedestal.
Vaginal intercourse mostly stimulates the (internal) clitoral vestibules and crura, while often overlooking the glans.
To view cunnilingus, fingerbanging/rubbing, and partnered toy usage as "the appetizer" or "extra effort" is a disservice.
Consider that between 55–85% of people with vaginas can't consistently orgasm via penetration alone. Among those who can, the following characteristics are common:
- A short-to-average clit-vag gap
- They can feel external rubbing during intercourse.
- A pronounced internal clitoris or urethral sponge
- That way, it's more easily accessible via straight penetration.
- Curved toys and fingers can get the job done better for some. More on that later.
- Accustomed to cervix stimulation
- The sensation goes through a different nerve pathway than clitoral stimulation.
I'm in the smaller group of those who can orgasm via intercourse alone. But all the same, I want to advocate for a variety of bodies and pleasure preferences. Needing external stimulation is normal.
Vibrators aren't just for single ciswomen!
Speaking of variety, I wish people would be more open to incorporating a vibrator into partner play. And we're not just talking about the petite ones that fit between bodies during missionary intercourse.
WAND MASSAGERS FEEL GOOD AGAINST A PENIS TOO. If you think of a penis as a big clitoris, the idea isn't that out there. I wrote whole other blog posts about that:
- 3 Rumbly Blowjob Vibrators For Fantastic Fellatio: Manta, Vim & Bond Review
- 9 Ways to Use a Wand Massager with a Partner
Going Deeper With Sponge Play: The G-Spot and Prostate
You may have heard people describe the prostate as the "male G‑spot," located in the butthole.
I prefer not to think of it as "in" the butthole, but accessible via the rectal wall. That's also true for people with penises and people with vaginas. It's just that the latter group has another, more direct hole you could play with.
What's up with all the debate around the G‑spot?
Plenty of people with vaginas experience pleasure via shallow front wall stimulation. That part isn't up for debate.
The arguments mostly come down to pedantic semantics.
See, the G‑spot isn't a distinct organ or "instant orgasm" button. Rather than a spot, it's more like the general area where the urethral sponge and internal clitoris are most pleasurably sensitive to touch.
Descriptions online tend to say the G‑spot 3–4 inches inside the vaginal canal, but that's more of a general guideline. Mine is far shallower, about 1.5" in. Feel around for the pubic bone and spongey tissue. Seek a reaction of pleasure, not a set measurement.
Stimulating the prostate, urethral sponge, and perineum
Prostate massagers have one main thing in common: a curve that aims forward to press against the sponge. One prime example is the njoy pure wand, which delivers intense G‑spot and prostate stimulation.
Fingers can also stimulate the prostate by:
- Hooking and making a "come hither" motion
- Making tiny twisting motions with the fingers bent
- Massaging externally between the anus and scrotum
To build on that last point, people with vulvas can stimulate another erogenous zone via the back wall: the perineal sponge. My favorite toy for that is the Chrystalino Champ, though dildos with bulky, textured bases can massage it externally, too.
Ultimately, sex toys are just tools to add to your arsenal. It's like driving a car instead of walking to your destination: faster and more focused, but not necessarily better.
Let's Wrap It Up!
I'll repeat it: I don't buy into the idea that a clitoris is more complicated than a penis. There might be a broad cultural stigma to the spelunking, but shame doesn't have to limit your exploration.
Remember: the clitoris is the only known human organ that solely exists for the sake of pleasure.
If vulvas are your thing, show your love for all of the clitoris, from its rooted legs to its peeking head.
This post was sponsored. As always, the words expressed here are my own. The external links don't necessarily reflect my views.
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I've tested over 350 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A‑spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.
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Cy, this is an amazing post and so helpful. I found your blog through reviews for products I love, like the vixskin outlaw and gambler, and your info on anterior/posterior fornix stimulation was life-changing for me. I'm a transgender man and when I started on testosterone, other guys warned me to expect "growth" almost immediately. They were right, but I wasn't aware of all of the "subterranean" structures (like the bulb and legs) that would ALSO grow thanks to testosterone! In my case, all of the structures shown in your beautifully color-coded diagram in this post happened to grow, which I wasn't expecting.
I didn't expect to be dealing with atrophy because nobody in support groups ever talked about it, but it's been a big issue in my life. Things that I used to love (like receiving v‑ginal fisting), are no longer possible because of pelvic pain and atrophy. I initially did physiotherapy for a hypertonic pelvic floor with a "trans-inclusive" physical therapist as "pre-hab" for getting phalloplasty, although I have been unable to access this medically necessary surgery despite having a professional job with healthcare coverage. The pelvic floor physiotherapist was helpful in addressing the trauma I had around my hysto, but I stopped seeing that provider with she told me I was "non-binary" because I was willing to receive stimulation in and around my v‑ginal opening. Well, I have a very binary experience of my own gender and I strongly identify as a man, so that was difficult for me to hear. What has been harder to deal with is my inability to get phalloplasty, dealing with gender dysphoria, atrophy, and trying to understand how my body works now.
There is a famous urologist on Twitter whose awareness campaign around estradiol as treatment for atrophy was very helpful for me. However, I have a very hard time using topical estradiol, because if I use it too much, then it starts to have feminizing effects on my overall appearance. Even if I'm only using a pea-sized amount every night or every other night, I have noticed that others get confused and start to mistake me for a woman. I've been on testosterone for 6 years, so I've backed off on my application of estradiol to a pea-sized amount 2 days per week. That seems to be just enough to prevent urethral atrophy, but it's not enough for me to be able to go back to the sizeable things i crave and enjoy, like the vixskin gambler.
Sorry for going all Livejournal in your comments section — I'm just wondering if there are any avenues or resources for trans guys and transmasculine people to discuss topics like these. I've seen some posts from the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, or UCSF's Transgender Care. I'm not sure if this is even interesting or relevant to you or your audience. But your openness and commitment to education and inclusivity is why I decided to post here instead of trying to send you an email.
Hi! I wish I knew more resources for ya.
Here's a Discord server that includes a NSFW section for sexual health topics. https://discord.gg/tvY8mw6y
A friend who used to frequent reddit will get back to me in a bit about subreddits he personally liked.
In the meantime, here are a few FTM spicy toy reviewers who may have other suggestions!
https://kelvinsparks.com/
https://www.mxedreviews.com/
https://www.bextalkssex.com/
https://www.sugarbutch.net/
Take care of yourself, stay hydrated, take your time, and befriend some good lube. <3 Hopefully I'll have a more specific answer soon!
Wow. That's a lot of info. Thanks.
Thanks for a very detailed explanation. It's something everyone should learn.
I miss one information about the internal clit.size, what is the avarage size when soft and what is the length when the clit is hard ? and what can be the maximum size of the internaql clit when she is aqroused ß
It varies from person to person, so I don't have any one solid answer to this.
Thank you for the clear concise and thoughtful explanation.
Thank you for this explanation and the diagrams! I knew that my clitoris was much more than just what peeks out, tho my partner seems to think a little finger insertion and a flick around that spot is sufficient for foreplay… another story. I've recently discovered that a thuddy sensation against my g‑spot really does a lot for me, but learning about the quasi-p-spot or the wall between the vagina and anus — that's new. I've always liked the sensation of dual play — but now I have a better understanding of why… and also realize that I need another good, thuddy toy that I can direct to either my g‑spot OR my p‑spot. I can't wait to try it out. Thank you!!
This is an excellent, well informed educational post. I loved it. There needs to be so much more education on the clitoris for both women and men. Thank you for taking the time to write this.
I always grew up with the notion that penises were better than vulvas, and felt more pleasure.. maybe bc of the mentioned “pleasure gap” idea that we have been conditioned to have as a culture, or maybe just from not so cool cis men doing their patriarchal thing.. but either way, I know it’s BS, and I’ve had a lot of fun exploring my own body as a vulva owner! I’ve always sort of been more attracted to the idea of having external genitalia, but having a vulva is also an awesome thing too. 🙂
I’m so pleased that you took the time to write this post! More people should be open to the truth. People with vaginas can be gotten off in different ways; just like penis owners have preferences vagina owners ALSO have preferences. All people like and want different things, it’s not a p vs. v thing It’s just people and preferences. Everyone has a personal preference and it should be a normal human right to be able to pursue it regardless of genitalia. It is insane to tell women there’s only one right way to find pleasure.
Have you read ‘Come As You Are’ Yet? I think you would love it. I think anyone with a vagina or who knows someone with a vagina should read it. Game changer.