3 Ways I've Changed Since Started as a Sex Blogging Superhero

Let me re-intro­duce myself: I'm Cy from Super Smash Cache. My blog has a long list of acco­lades — going as far back as #56 on Kinkly's Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2016.

That one seemed to pop out of nowhere when I was tak­ing a break Despite the 1‑year hia­tus, I haven't stopped learn­ing about sex (or sex blog­ging), and I don't think I ever will.

Never stop learn­ing. My biggest men­tal block against start­ing my blog again was the fear that I'd look back on my old posts and cringe. Nowadays, I'd be more con­cerned if noth­ing my past self wrote made me cringe. If I cringe, it's because I learned some­thing new.

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So how much have I changed since 2015, the start of my blog?

1. I like even bigger toys and fisting.

Huge inser­tions were some­thing I had always found hot, but assumed wasn't for me to do. After all, I was sore and bruised after my first time using a dil­do with a 2" max diam­e­ter. I grad­u­al­ly learned to relax and take big­ger and more rigid objects for a while, but the dis­tinct point where I changed my mind about fist­ing was when I got fin­gered with three fin­gers for the first time. All I could think after­ward was, "Oh my gosh! Why didn't I try it soon­er? I've been miss­ing out!"

As well, lis­ten­ing to Bex's first expe­ri­ence of being fist­ed made it seem more real. The first-​person nar­ra­tive framed it as an actu­al pos­si­bil­i­ty for me to expe­ri­ence, instead of observ­ing from the third per­son. Once I found some­one I trust­ed to do it with me, the rest was his­to­ry.

2. I value my sex blogging time more.

"You get free sex toys for blog­ging? That sounds amaz­ing!" That's a sig­nif­i­cant over­sim­pli­fi­ca­tion. For one, writ­ing is labor. A good sex toy review might take 8 hours of work in total. If I worked the same amount of time at one of my jobs, I'd make more mon­ey than or as much the toy is worth. It's not free; it's com­pen­sa­tion for work.

Second, I'd be send­ing the affil­i­ates or spon­sors traf­fic through my blog links and help­ing them make mon­ey. If I weren't get­ting a toy or com­mis­sion out of it, they would pay me for ad space on my blog. A toy for a blog post isn't free; it's a two-​way street and more accu­rate­ly called a trade.

I burned out in my first year because I felt luke­warm about many of the prod­ucts I reviewed. When I appre­ci­ate the sig­nif­i­cant time com­mit­ment of writ­ing a blog post, I'm more apt to say "no" to make room for "fuck yeah!"

3. I understand that I don't have to justify myself to people.

I don't often use porn. I refuse to take hor­mon­al birth con­trol. I can come via breath­ing and clench­ing. I pre­fer to come via pres­sure on my cervix and cul-​de-​sac, so I care more about length than girth dur­ing inter­course. I usu­al­ly come way faster than my part­ner, mul­ti­ple times, and we tend to fin­ish at the same time.

I'm more than aware that I'm an out­lier. At one point, I couldn't resist argu­ing with inter­net strangers and jus­ti­fy­ing the valid­i­ty of my orgasms and pref­er­ences. The sub­text of their view was that they knew my expe­ri­ences bet­ter than I did, and while that's just plain wrong, I don't have to engage with it. Further, the time spent argu­ing would be bet­ter spent shar­ing infor­ma­tion with those who are a.) built sim­i­lar­ly to me, or b.) look­ing to learn some­thing from oth­ers' dif­fer­ences.

Or, you know, just hav­ing great orgasms. Do your own thing and touch grass; it'll be okay.

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What stayed the same?

1. I think debates about the validity of the G‑spot are bullshit.

"The G‑spot" is just a slang term for a spe­cif­ic region of the inter­nal cli­toris, and I refuse to go into the seman­tics of call­ing it a "spot" more than I already have.

2. I love cervical orgasms.

The A‑spot, the pos­te­ri­or fornix, and the cervix are all part of what I con­sid­er the most under­rat­ed eroge­nous area. Clench, cum, repeat; it's my ulti­mate switch for mind-​bending orgasms that turn me into a pud­dle of heart-​eyes emojis.

"But doesn't it hurt you when some­thing is near your cervix?" Not nec­es­sar­i­ly. For the most part, things slide eas­i­ly behind my cervix, so that's not a fac­tor unless some­thing rams it right away.

It's also not a masochis­tic kink— it feels good to me. I under­stand that for many peo­ple with vagi­nas, a penis against the cervix hurts, but that doesn't mean that fin­gers or a thin toy stim­u­lat­ing the sur­round­ing area are entire­ly off the table.

I love the cervix so much that it's now part of my sex blogging tagline.

I can't think of a bet­ter niche for my blog than a.) reviews of toys that stim­u­late my cul-​de-​sac and cervix, or b.) sexy sto­ries involv­ing orgasms from huge inser­tions and cer­vi­cal stim­u­la­tion. That's the one thing I can say for sure about the future of my blog.