by Super Smash Cache · Published November 23, 2019 · Last modified July 28, 2024
"What a fucking abomination!" I scrunched my nose the first time I saw a clit-sucking rabbit vibrator. First came the Womanizer Inside Out, then the Satisfyer Pro G Rabbit, then the rumblier Womanizer Duo. I declined to review all…
by Super Smash Cache · Published November 17, 2019 · Last modified May 22, 2025
There's no shortage of phallic fruits and vegetables. Perhaps the most obvious example is ubiquitous recognition of the euphemistic eggplant emoji. Unfortunately, the grocery store isn't the best place to buy hygienic insertables. Produce is porous and houses microbes…
by Super Smash Cache · Published November 16, 2019 · Last modified May 22, 2025
No other sex toy has sent me on as much of an emotional roller-coaster as the Fantasy For Her Ultimate Pleasure. I have gone through every stage of Kombucha Girl. My initial thought was, "Ew, a product by Pipedream."…
by Super Smash Cache · Published October 30, 2019 · Last modified May 22, 2025
One question frequently asked of sex bloggers is, “If you never had sex with a partner again, what would you miss most?” I’d always answer, “Sex toys can’t self-wash.” The most popular response, though, is “Oral sex.” I don’t…
by Super Smash Cache · Published October 4, 2019 · Last modified January 24, 2025
The first five lines in my notes about the Fun Factory Volta read: I HAVE DIED Looks like it belongs in the Little Mermaid's "Les Poissons" chef scene I don't get it External-only rechargeable toy that makes me squirt How???¿? Those…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 30, 2019 · Last modified April 20, 2025
Sex Toys That Target the Anterior and Posterior Fornices Discovering cervical orgasms changed my sex life. For myself, the orgasms from deep penetration feel like potent hits of oxytocin — heart-eyes emojis and implosions far more full-bodied than clitoral…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 28, 2019 · Last modified March 5, 2024
The first time I used the Cal Exotics Surf City Centerfold internally, I laughed at how quickly I came. I was not expecting that! And against my clitoris? Testing toys like this one makes my endless hours of writing worth…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 11, 2019 · Last modified July 5, 2023
The SquarePegToys Blunt Plug is the ideal silicone plug for warming up to anal sex. Some plugs taper and slowly ramp up for opening from a cold start. Others have a big bulb and barely-there neck for a feeling…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 7, 2019 · Last modified July 23, 2024
About a year and a half ago, I learned the hard way what I didn't want in a vaginal plug. I just wanted to be stuffed all day, not understanding the pitfalls of using the fat AF Tantus Ringo…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 6, 2019 · Last modified July 5, 2023
"WHY ARE THESE VIBRATORS SO PHOTOGENIC?" I asked myself as I edited photos for this review. I can't pick a favorite picture because they're all my favorite. Now I know how my favorite photographer feels when I model for him.…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 5, 2019 · Last modified July 24, 2024
I've accepted it at this point: I cannot and will not ever do justice to the Blush Realm sword dildo collection. I'm not a fantasy geek at all, despite wanting to double penetrate myself with both Night King dildos.…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 28, 2019 · Last modified August 13, 2023
Some may find this review blasphemous. Others may consider it par with Upworthy-style clickbait. What I'm about to tell you about the Hot Octopuss Jett and Digit MIGHT BLOW YOUR MIND. You MUST KNOW MY TRUTH. From here on…