Zeus Arcana Electrosex Wand Massager Review: Vibrations and Electrokink

Today's review is a blast from the past, fea­tur­ing the Zeus Arcana elec­tro­sex wand. It deliv­ers elec­tri­cal shocks and vibra­tion in one self-​contained unit. That might sound futur­is­tic to some.

Still, this mas­sager comes from an era where wavy Microsoft WordArt in Impact or Arial Black font was, to the layper­son, the height of graph­ic design.

I first saw the Zeus Arcana wand YEARS ago. We're talk­ing like the 2013 era, a whole oth­er phase of my life, before this blog exist­ed. It was only the begin­ning of my mod­el­ing and sexy side hus­tles.

By the time I start­ed review­ing sex toys as a busi­ness, the Zeus Arcana had long dis­ap­peared from my con­scious­ness. It almost feels like an ancient relic.

When I post­ed a pho­to of it on my Instagram sto­ries, many employ­ees from brick-​and-​mortar sex shops itched with antic­i­pa­tion. They said it sat on shelves and col­lect­ed dust because nobody want­ed it. (Cue Toy Story fran­chise feels.)

I was sur­prised to see that the Zeus Arcana Wand was still avail­able online! And I couldn't turn down the chance to review some­thing that my 18-​year-​old self drooled over.

My history with electrosex kink

The Zeus Arcana isn't my first time using an elec­tros­tim­u­la­tion sex toy. As far back as 2014, I was using the Kinklab Neon Wand and Power Tripper pair­ing as part of a Pikachu cos­tume at parties.

With the Power Tripper attach­ment, I could shock peo­ple with my bare hands, from a sub­tle tin­gle with my palms to a sharp zing with my fin­ger­tips. I even used it on my now-​boyfriend the night of our first date.

Still, I thought it would be cool to use vibra­tion AND electro-​play in one. I've expe­ri­enced that before, with the MyStim Sizzling Simon, but nev­er with a self-​contained and external-​only elec­tro­sex vibe. That brings me back to the future now, with the Zeus Arcana wand.

Full disclosure: I didn't entirely test the Zeus Arcana on myself.

My boyfriend was my main guinea pig for this review. He enjoys wand vibra­tions on his penis and the sen­sa­tion of the Neon Wand, so we decid­ed to use the Zeus Arcana on him.

Even beyond tacky pack­ag­ing, this electro-​kink wand is a prod­uct of its time. The vibra­tions have mod­er­ate pow­er but are cer­tain­ly on the buzzy side, and the head is TPR.

It's from the time of the Bodywand Midnight, after all. Hitachi Magic Wand Original analogs were still in their infan­cy — noth­ing like the more sophis­ti­cat­ed and hygien­ic Magic Wand Plus or Doxy Die Cast mas­sagers of today.

Okay, but does the Zeus Arcana's electricity make up for the vibration quality?

If you like a con­trolled shock, like with the Kinklab Neon Wand, then no. If you're look­ing for a kinky tor­ture device, maybe.

The Zeus Arcana's elec­tros­tim­u­la­tion is spas­tic, not infre­quent­ly star­tling my boyfriend. Think of a local­ized and quick pinch, rather than smooth or spread out. (Use com­mon sense if you have a pace­mak­er or oth­er­wise have rel­e­vant med­ical conditions.)

From what we can tell, the shock works only if you are in con­tact with both met­al rings on the wand's head. Even then, it's abrupt.

The pack­age high­ly rec­om­mends using the Zeus Arcana with some con­duc­tive lube. To say that but not include a sam­ple pack­et is an over­sight, in my opinion.

The Zeus Arcana's controls aren't the most intuitive.

One set of up-​down but­tons turns vibra­tions up and down, while the oth­er does that for the elec­tros­tim­u­la­tion. Mix and match among five inten­si­ties for each func­tion. Easy enough.

What wasn't super obvi­ous, though, is that the elec­tric­i­ty wouldn't turn on until I pressed the cen­ter but­ton. And, while the side but­ton is osten­si­bly for mak­ing pulse pat­terns, it did noth­ing on my unit.

(If you like wands with a vari­ety of rhythms, the Le Wand is your best bet!)

My boyfriend didn't like the Zeus Arcana. And, based on his descrip­tion, I didn't want to try the elec­tric shock on myself.

I'm so happy to have another guinea pig!

A gal pal tried the Zeus Arcana on her hand, just for fun. Since she's enter­tained the thought of touch­ing some barbed wire, you might want to take that with a pinch of salt.

After touch­ing the met­al con­tacts on "low," she want­ed to go straight to the high­est setting.

"Ooh! I like it!" she exclaimed and kept tap­ping the wand head. "It's kind of addicting."

"Girl, you can just have it!" I told her. "I won't be using it at all."

"I prob­a­bly won't use it for sex­u­al pur­pos­es — I just like the shock­ing sensation."

So there you have it: if you want an intense shock for sensual play, the Zeus Arcana might be for you.

Just keep it the fuck away from my vulva; I'm sticking to my Neon Wand and Power Tripper.

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Disclaimer

This post was spon­sored. All opin­ions expressed are my own, as always. Find more of my spon­sored posts or get in touch for col­lab­o­ra­tions via super­s­mash­cache [at] Gmail [dot] com