My Ecstatic Essentials: Pleasure Products I'm Loving Lately, Beyond the Review Queue

“Okay, not­ed. Just packed my purse with three dif­fer­ent lube for­mu­las,” I replied when he warned me that his big cock had made sev­er­al past part­ners bleed when fuck­ing them.

That wasn't about to be me; lube is stan­dard for me, and I'm always prepared.

And that's a per­fect oppor­tu­ni­ty to show extra love to the plea­sure prod­ucts I keep return­ing to — even with the end­less sea of oth­er dongs, lotions, and potions sur­round­ing me.

Here are the self-​care stars in my heavy rota­tion and body bliss bag late­ly — from the big and bold to the com­pact cuties to holis­tic inti­mate care.

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The Full-Sized Saviors

Uberrime Maxime Dual-​Density Dildo

My sex­ting style is so dif­fer­ent when I orgasm on this cock, com­pared to when I'm using a wand. Cervical orgasms with the right mem­ber feel like slow merg­ing and one­ness — my face flushed with the oxy­tocin rush. Dare I call it love?

Maxime by Uberrime's dimen­sions are delec­table— about 7.5” insertable length and 1.7” wide, usurp­ing VixSkin Johnny's throne for the best real­is­tic dual-​density dildo.

It turns out that extra half-​inch and slight­ly firmer sil­i­cone makes a big dif­fer­ence in how quick­ly I cum. Every time I think I could be done, I give myself a few hard thrusts, and I sigh and space out again for anoth­er minute (or more).

Magic Wand Rechargeable

In con­trast to how soft and serene I feel with Maxime, I feel fran­tic, fer­al, and gooned with the Magic Wand Rechargeable. Maxime feels like, “Fuck, I'm in love.” The Magic Wand Rechargeable feels like, “Fuck, I'm going to cry. I need to cum again. I need it, I need it, I need it.”

It's a very dif­fer­ent (des­per­ate? Overwhelmed?) head­space, with short­er, sharp­er cli­max­es for me — ide­al for orgasm tor­ture, both in terms of forced orgasms and denial play.

And while the Magic Wand Rechargeable has its rivals, there are sev­er­al rea­sons it's still the stan­dard to which every­thing else is compared:

1. You can't beat its lega­cy; the Magic Wand's brand has been around since the 1960s.
2. There's hard­ly any vibra­tion trans­fer to the han­dle, and you can't say that about many of the Magic Wand Rechargeable's top com­peti­tors despite their row­dy rumbliness.
3. YOU CAN KEEP USING IT WHILE IT'S PLUGGED IN. How many oth­er wands have the adapt­abil­i­ty to be used with or with­out the cord?

Further read­ing: Magic Wand Original vs. Rechargeable vs. Plus vs. Mini vs. Micro

We-​Vibe Wand 2

Consider this seg­ment a teas­er for my upcom­ing wand mega-guide.

We-Vibe's Wand 2 is the newest con­tender among the best recharge­able wands:

• It's rumbly AF and pow­er­ful at the top speeds, with a wide range for those crav­ing some­thing gen­tler, too — arguably the most essen­tial char­ac­ter­is­tic for a wand massager.
• Its con­trol pan­el is the most intu­itive of the recharge­able wands I've tried. I don't have to think about what order the but­tons are in or whether the pat­terns will start (ugh) — it's easy to tell by feel­ing alone which but­ton is which.
• It has Bluetooth remote con­trol con­nec­tiv­i­ty for both short-​range and long-​range play. Consider tying it to your part­ner, using two phones, and turn­ing it up to tease or please even when you're not direct­ly in the room with them.

Is it bet­ter than the Magic Wand Rechargeable? No, both options have their pros and cons. However, a novelty-​seeking, neu­rospicy read­er asked sev­er­al spe­cif­ic ques­tions that all made me want to scream, OMG, YES, THE WE-​VIBE WAND 2 WAS MADE FOR YOU.

(Plus, it's on sale for through January 5th! The price is already low, and the 10% off dis­count applies auto­mat­i­cal­ly in the cart when you use this link.)

Compact Cum Comrades

Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace

I'm a con­vert to Crave's Vesper. I didn't get the appeal of wear­ing sex toys in plain sight before, but nowa­days, I love the sim­ple, sub­tle “wink, nudge” to those in the know.

Vesper by Crave is cute, dis­creet, travel-​friendly, and pointy enough to con­cen­trate the vibra­tions despite its dain­ti­ness. The motor is strong enough for the size and does the job for me.

But for a part­ner using it tac­ti­cal­ly, I have some­thing even better.

See, my crush sug­gest­ed that he'd turn the vibra­tions all the way up if some­one walked in on us.

And Crave's Vesper was not made for that kind of play. It has one but­ton that clicks through the three speed set­tings and one pat­tern — fine for fly­ing solo but not exact­ly intu­itive or explo­sive­ly impactful.

BMS Swan Maximum Bullet

The Swan Maximum Bullet by BMS Factory:

• Is among the most pow­er­ful com­pact vibra­tors, sur­pass­ing the renowned We-​Vibe Tango X
• Has two but­tons and no pat­terns — mean­ing you can turn it way up and not wor­ry about the top speed turn­ing to Morse Code
• Probably won't sur­prise a part­ner because it slow­ly ramps up rather than jump­ing in speed, but it's far more like­ly to over­whelm than the Crave Vesper. 
  • The We-​Vibe Tango X is a nice in-​between with dis­tinct speed set­tings, a strong motor, and pat­terns quar­an­tined to a sep­a­rate button.
• Is com­pact enough that it could plau­si­bly look like your part­ner just has their arm around you. 🙂

Sutil Luxe Vanilla Flavored Lube Sample

This fla­vored water-​based lube slips like sil­i­cone, dries like lotion, and tastes like maple syrup. I want to lick it off some­one and have it licked off me.

Skin-Loving Lubricants

I refreshed my lube line­up with Sliquid Organics Natural Gel. It's sim­i­lar to my main go-​to, Sliquid Sassy, with a thick, less drip­py for­mu­la but with added botan­i­cals like aloe juice, sea­weed extract, vit­a­min E, and more.

(Sliquid Sassy and Aloe Cadabra are still fan favorites if you like sim­pler formulas.)

Peepshow Toys also sent me their lube sam­ple pack­ets, the ingre­di­ents of which I would com­pare to Wicked's Simply Aqua lube. (Same con­stituents, some­what dif­fer­ent amounts, all skin-friendly.)

Last but not least, Sutil Luxe is also avail­able in an unfla­vored option, and that itty-​bitty tube fits so eas­i­ly in my purse.

Tips For Using Lube

• Consider car­ry­ing a tiny mist­ing bot­tle with water for re-​wetting lube. Natural, water-​based, vagina-​friendly per­son­al lubri­cant tends to dry out faster than oth­er for­mu­las. (Heads-​up: it can feel cold, so be prepared!)
• Pay atten­tion to lube expi­ra­tion dates and when you open the bot­tle. Sliquid Sassy, for exam­ple, is okay for a year after open­ing, so I decid­ed it was “bye” time for some potions in my apothe­cary and get replacements.

Pelvic Health & Relaxation

Lube is just one facet of pelvic com­fort and per­son­al care. If you've been expe­ri­enc­ing vul­vo­vagi­nal ten­sion, pain with pen­e­tra­tion, pelvic pain, or recur­ring UTI-​like symp­toms, this sec­tion is for you.

Kiwi Trigger Point Massager

Use it for shal­low pen­e­tra­tion at the entrance to help relax tense pelvic floor mus­cles. A few dif­fer­ent angles, edges, and sur­faces can also be used on the out­side, like the vul­var vestibule, the labia, hips flex­ors, and low­er back. Use Kiwi in your hands or low­er your weight onto it like a mas­sage ball.

Intimate Rose Pelvic Release Wand

Kiwi focus­es on the out­side and a lit­tle on the inside, while the Intimate Rose can go deep­er. It's an S‑curved insertable for releas­ing inter­nal trig­ger points, and it hurtssss ssoooo goooooood­ddd when I find a tense spot.

Heal Pelvic Pain by Amy Stein

Another valu­able resource is Heal Pelvic Pain by Amy Stein, a book that gives you a crash course on pelvic floor relax­ation and strength­en­ing and oth­er tools for holis­tic healing.

While see­ing a pelvic ther­a­pist in per­son means one-​on-​one atten­tion, nuance, and a treat­ment plan just for you, this book is a way to:

• Dip your toes in on a budget
• Learn what to expect from pelvic therapy
• Recap and review after your sessions

njoy Pure Wand

Obligatory dis­claimers:

• Do your reverse Kegels
• Relax ful­ly between Kegel reps
• Lay off Kegels for now if ten­sion is a recur­ring prob­lem for you

If it’s not, clench­ing around the Pure Wand and feel­ing its weight press against the front wall can be quite fun. It's also top-​tier for shal­low pen­e­tra­tion — think wham-​bam G‑spot pressure.

Other Lotions & Potions & More

• Wicked Sensual Massage Cream — it's just a real­ly fuck­ing lux­u­ri­ous­ly thick and rich lotion that I want to slather all over my body. Sage and sea salt? Orange blos­som and patchouli? I want it all. (But the unscent­ed is prob­a­bly your best bet for hand­jobs. I'm just saying.)
• The bag itself was a gift from We-​Vibe when I vis­it­ed Nalpac's open house. For those who don't know, Nalpac is one of the United States’ biggest dis­trib­u­tors of adult nov­el­ties. I'm so grate­ful I got to see my inter­net friends from the indus­try again and new prod­ucts before they were released to the public.

What I Wish I Could Find

I'm ADHD as fuck, which is great for my geeky com­par­isons of sex toys, but ter­ri­ble for my orga­ni­za­tion of the actu­al products.

Some toys I use, review, and for­get. Most, even. Just a few stand out in the sea of dongs.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen

As far as top cli­toral toys go, the Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen is in a league all its own, with thump­ing, wand-​like pow­er in a light­weight and com­pact pack­age with fan­tas­tic con­trols. It is ide­al for those who want big rum­ble focused in a small area on the cli­toral glans.

I don't know where mine is any­more, and I miss it dearly.

Until I find it again, I have the moti­va­tion to clean my bed­room and office — because noth­ing moti­vates an ADHDer like inter­est, urgency, and novelty.*

*And, of course, com­pe­ti­tion. Do any account­abil­i­ty bud­dies want to gam­i­fy the tidy­ing process with me?