SELF-LOVE SPOTLIGHT: The Selfish Sensualist

Because self-​love is about so much more than sex toys.

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On Valentine's Day of 2023, I con­tin­ued my "tra­di­tion" of giv­ing away an ever­last­ing rose, cour­tesy of Spectrum Boutique — and oth­er good­ies to make your self-​love a lit­tle more luxurious.

A Uberrime Rosae clitoral grinder

The petals give this hump­ing toy plen­ty of piz­zazz, plus the (pret­ty yon­ic) cen­tral bud gives the user's clit a lit­tle more focus when grind­ing on it like a pillow.

A Fun Factory Big Boss vibrator 

Rumbly vibra­tions, great con­trol pan­el, yum­my girth. It's a Fun Factory G5 vibe, which auto­mat­i­cal­ly makes it drool-​worthy. Read my Fun Factory Big Boss review.

Michelle Elman's dating advice book, The Selfish Romantic

I've received read­er ques­tions about the boundary-​setting and com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills it takes to live the sex­u­al­ly self­ish Pillow Princess life — and my "pre­scrip­tion" is Michelle Elman's book.

Women some­times date while per­form­ing a ver­sion of fem­i­nin­i­ty that they're told will please men, and we're not doing that here. What do you want, out­side of the male gaze? What do you want your life to look like when you are the sub­ject of plea­sure in mul­ti­ple respects?

A bottle of Personal Fav plant-​based arousal serum

The wind blew dif­fer­ent when I used this lube. Whether it's a place­bo effect, I'm not sure yet, but this lube feels great, the bot­tle is classy, and the pack­ag­ing is super cute. The bot­tom of the box acknowl­edges that: "I know my bottom's cute, but it's what's inside that counts."

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A big thank-​you to Spectrum Boutique for donat­ing all these love­ly good­ies and to Michelle Elman for writ­ing such a great book! The Rosae, Big Boss, and Whet will all ship via Spectrum, while I will order The Selfish Romantic sep­a­rate­ly. I just want more peo­ple to read it. <3