FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet powerful aluminum vibrator review

If you've sought an afford­able alter­na­tive to the We-​Vibe Tango, you've prob­a­bly heard of the under-$50 Ultra Bullet by FemmeFunn. It's one of the best mini-​vibes you can get, and for a sub­stan­tial­ly low­er price than the Tango.

FemmeFunn's new­er Bougie Bullet has what I assumed would be the same, pow­er­ful set­tings as the Ultra Bullet. But it's not a bud­get vibe. For twice the cost of the Ultra Bullet, the Bougie Bullet comes with swanky upgrades, like a sleek­er alu­minum shell and a match­ing charg­ing case.

As the name sug­gests, the Bougie Bullet looks more ele­gant. In com­par­i­son, the Ultra Bullet's orig­i­nal eye-​scalding col­ors are befit­ting of Barbie's dream house. I would've severe­ly under­es­ti­mat­ed the Ultra Bullet if I hadn't read reviews.

Whether the Bougie Bullet's upgrad­ed look is worth it is a mat­ter of per­son­al pref­er­ence, though some would (jus­ti­fi­ably) con­sid­er it over­priced. The more impor­tant ques­tion is: how's the motor? More specif­i­cal­ly, how does the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet com­pare to the Tango (the lux­u­ri­ous gold stan­dard of rum­ble) and the also-​affordable Exposed Nocturnal bul­let?

Comparing the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet to others' power and rumble

If the We-​Vibe Tango were a 10 for both pow­er and rum­ble, I'd give the Bougie Bullet a 6 for the ampli­tude and an 8 for pow­er. The $32 Exposed Nocturnal would be a 7 and 11, respec­tive­ly, bring­ing me some cog­ni­tive dis­so­nance. There's less dis­place­ment when I dip the Bougie Bullet in water; tiny water droplets do splash, but not near­ly as big or as often as with the others.

I want­ed to believe that the Bougie Bullet was rum­bli­er than the Exposed Nocturnal. That would have made this an easy review to write. But despite its rel­a­tive buzzi­ness, I use the Bougie Bullet more often than my Tango and my Exposed Nocturnal put together.

Simply put, it's at the sweet spot between pow­er­ful and mod­er­ate where I can orgasm non-​stop, again and again. I'd put the Bougie Bullet in my top 5 most potent bul­let vibra­tors for sure. But too often, I find that orgasms with the Tango and Exposed Nocturnal are one-​and-​done— I'm too sen­si­tive to con­tin­ue imme­di­ate­ly after the first one.

The Bougie Bullet's vibra­tions, in con­trast, are com­fort­able but zingy and pow­er­ful enough to suit a vari­ety of moods.  And it does that with­out being loud or over­whelm­ing to diva of a clitoris.

Femmefunn Bougie Bullet vs. Ultra Bullet

The Bougie Bullet comes in cold, rigid alu­minum, while the Ultra Bullet's body is an insu­lat­ed and flex­i­ble sil­i­cone. Further, the Bougie Bullet is slight­ly more pointy at the tip. At 1‑inch max width, both are fat enough that I could use them for inter­nal stim­u­la­tion. However, the rigid alu­minum is eas­i­er for me to aim inter­nal­ly than bendy silicone.

The Bougie Bullet is suit­able for those who thought the Ultra Bullet was too soft or not pin­point enough. However, it's not as pow­er­ful. If you're look­ing for rigid, robust, and pin­point stim­u­la­tion at an afford­able price, I'd instead steer you toward the Exposed Nocturnal. It's more pin­point than the Bougie Bullet and costs $67 less. And unlike either FemmeFunn bul­let, the Exposed Nocturnal bul­let has a "decrease" button.

Power comparison

Reviews I've read about the Ultra Bullet con­tra­dict my ini­tial assump­tion that it and the Bougie Bullet have the same motor. I've seen some review­ers com­pare the Ultra Bullet to the Jopen Lust L2, and oth­ers rate it as more rumbly than the Exposed Nocturnal. Some say it even gives the Tango a run for its money.

Whatever they reviewed, it sure doesn't sound like the same thing I tried. That's not inher­ent­ly a bad thing— I don't mind a lit­tle buzz. But the Bougie Bullet's pitch doesn't feel as refined as the Lust L2. Nor does it have as much "jump" as the Tango. It's pos­si­ble that the Bougie Bullet's motor is the same as the Ultra Bullet, but the alu­minum shell weighs it down sub­stan­tial­ly. In that case, the alu­minum bul­let weighs so much more than the sil­i­cone ver­sion that it needs a stronger motor to move the same amount.

Controls & settings

So what's the Bougie Bullet's sec­ond but­ton for, if not cycling back down through the set­tings? With TWENTY set­tings, a "down" but­ton would make it more man­age­able, right? Yes, but that's not what the but­ton does.

The "Turbo" but­ton turns the speed all the way up for 10 sec­onds, or until you press the oth­er but­ton— whichev­er one comes first. My cli­toris is high­ly sen­si­tive after an orgasm, so this fea­ture is appreciated.

This con­trol sys­tem was prob­a­bly a delib­er­ate choice to accom­mo­date all the dif­fer­ent pat­tern set­tings. It'd be a pain in the ass to be on a pat­tern, tog­gle through the set­tings one at a time to find a high steady speed, and then turn it down. If you reg­u­lar­ly use pat­terns, the Bougie Bullet was designed for you.

"Does anyone even like vibration patterns?"

Those were my boyfriend's words, not mine. He doesn't care for pat­terns against his frenu­lum, so 17 pat­tern set­tings is def­i­nite­ly too damn much for him. I sus­pect that I'm in the minor­i­ty, but I do enjoy them.

Particularly, inter­nal stac­ca­to rhythms give the vibra­tor a sense of move­ment. When slow, it's kind of like how a dick pul­sat­ing is arous­ing. A faster, more con­sis­tent rhythm against my inter­nal cli­toris is what gets me off, though. And the Bougie Bullet's slight­ly curved shape is com­fort­able to insert on days where my G‑spot is super sensitive.

I don't count the pat­terns— I scroll through and stop at whichev­er one I like. With the Turbo but­ton, it's just not a big deal.

The stylish magnetic charging case

I appre­ci­ate well-​designed stor­age. When trav­el­ing, I'm more like­ly to use a mini-​vibe if it has its own space in my bag. It feels sex­i­er to pull a vibe out­side of a sleek, hard case than to take it out of a flim­sy satin bag.

But to be real, you can buy a cheap­er bul­let and a match­ing eye­glass case for less. Charging the toy while it's still in the con­tain­er would be more dis­creet, but that's not a promi­nent sell­ing point for me.

My verdict on the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet

I can't lie and say that silk and suave don't mat­ter. Though looks alone aren't enough to make me love a vibra­tor, the Bougie Bullet's gor­geous anodized blue makes me that much more excit­ed to use it. Its pre­sen­ta­tion is love­ly. The aluminum's heft feels luxurious.

If you're a diehard pow­er queen, I'd still rec­om­mend you get a Tango, an Ultra Bullet, or an Exposed Nocturnal bul­let instead.

But as some­one whose cli­toris and G‑spot are on the more mod­er­ate side of sen­si­tiv­i­ty, the fat­ter and hefti­er Bougie Bullet suits my needs so much bet­ter than the wor­shipped pow­er­house bul­lets. It's strong enough to take me to Cloud 9 but sub­tle enough to main­tain the euphoria.

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This cli­toral vibra­tor was sent to me by Peepshow Toys in exchange for my hon­est and freely-​given opin­ion. All opin­ions expressed are my own. If I don't like a toy, I'll let you know— even if it goes against the grain, even if I real­ly want­ed to like it, and even if I think it belongs in the trash.