by Super Smash Cache · Published October 10, 2022 · Last modified August 9, 2023
“You sound like you’re getting stabbed,” a friend replied when I sent him a voice recording of me using the Je Joue G‑Kii. Another said, “If I didn’t already know you, I’d be worried.” If someone's impression of my…
by Super Smash Cache · Published October 7, 2022 · Last modified July 5, 2023
Rabbit vibrators are a blursed sex toy category — a simultaneous blessing and curse. Their emphasis on clitoral stimulation, on paper, symbolized the ultimate blended orgasm. In practice, they’re often akin to 2‑in‑1 shampoo and conditioner; a vibrator can’t…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 17, 2022 · Last modified March 11, 2024
Remember that G‑spotty Velvet Thruster dildo attachment I helped design in 2019? (Of course, you do; there’s an old picture of me and my ass on the packaging.) Blush Novelties made a more affordable rebuttal, the Temptasia Trixie handheld…
by Super Smash Cache · Published September 8, 2022 · Last modified March 11, 2024
The LELO Smart Wand Large 2 is one of the rumbliest rechargeable wands I’ve ever tried. Purely vibration frequency-wise, it’s in the top 5 best “back massagers.” It thrums and purrs at a deliciously low pitch. However, strength is…
by Super Smash Cache · Published August 10, 2022 · Last modified October 18, 2023
Fun Factory makes stellar vibrators and pulsators, but I’ve cum more on some than others. To celebrate their 26th birthday, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Here are the best Fun Factory toys I’ve tried — and the…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 28, 2022 · Last modified July 5, 2023
Is it a drool-inducing, ecstatic experience, or is it merely passable as meat? The art of silicone dildo firmness is like cooking a steak — tenderness can make or break your creation. Think of how a penis’s glans yields…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 25, 2022 · Last modified March 11, 2024
The LELO Elise 2 vibrator reminds me of a more idyllic time for LELO — before the likes of the dick tux. In the early 2010s, their focus was revamping vibes for female pleasure. The Elise 2 roared with 200%…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 21, 2022 · Last modified July 5, 2023
I ordered underwear that reads, “This machine does not know the difference between metal and flesh, nor does it care.” That’s how much I love stainless steel sex toys. "L'acier" means "the steel" in French, in case you were wondering.…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 9, 2022 · Last modified March 11, 2024
Did I choose these pretty dildos solely to match my galaxy bayonet? Yes. Do they feel as good as they look? Also yes — depending on how you use them. Today, I’m reviewing the Laphwing Ursula and Mr. Moonlight dildos.…
by Super Smash Cache · Published May 8, 2022 · Last modified July 5, 2023
Disappointment set at the moment I inserted the Snail Vibe. It’s like getting a hotel room for a hookup and quickly realizing that your partner will probably not get you off. At the Snail Vibe’s price, I might as well…
by Super Smash Cache · Published May 2, 2022 · Last modified March 11, 2024
I got excited when I first heard of the Bombex Butterfly vibrator. “Is it named after the silkmoth genus Bombyx?!” Unfortunately, Bombex’s affiliate representative didn’t comment on that part of my correspondence, but my biology degree was excited to…
by Super Smash Cache · Published May 1, 2022 · Last modified August 9, 2023
Two alliterative words sum up these three dildos: Midwest ‘murrikah. What could be more Midwest than corn and moonshine? And what could be more tongue-in-cheek American than dildos shaped like guns and nuns in the same shop? You’d be forgiven…