Uberrime BIG Damn Alien: Tiered G-Spot & Depth Dildo

“Oh, fuck,” I whim­pered at the Uberrime Big Damn Alien's first thrust against my cervix.

The Big Damn Alien dil­do fea­tures not one, not two, but three tiers of out-​of-​this-​world rib­bing and pearling. They lock into place along my G‑spot and A‑spot, and as if I wasn't already starry-​eyed and dazed enough, the tex­tures pulled on my front wall, absolute­ly bul­ly­ing my insides in the best way.

It wasn't long before I felt like cli­max could be too much, sway­ing and shak­ing my head side to side like I didn't think I could han­dle how hard I was about to cum. It did its job stu­pid­ly quickly.

I could have cried and gone crazy even just breath­ing and clench­ing around the Uberrime Big Damn Alien. It was a lot hav­ing the pearls pressed up against me, espe­cial­ly when I picked the 8A den­si­ty — firm by indie sil­i­cone stan­dards but medi­um den­si­ty by mine.

I nev­er could quite get into thank­ing a Dom or top for every sin­gle spank, but I found myself think­ing “God,” and “Yes,” and “Please, and “Thank you” every time this dil­do dipped in me.

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Quick Stats: Uberrime Big Damn Alien

• SIZE: 7” insertable length x 2” max­i­mum diameter
• MATERIAL: platinum-​cured sil­i­cone with a slick, glossy finish
• FIRMNESS OPTIONS: 0030, 0050, or 8A
• PRICE: Mid-​range for an arti­san fan­ta­sy toy. Stellar bang-​to-​buck ratio.
• BEST FOR: tex­ture sluts who real­ly fuck­ing love G‑spot and deep pen­e­tra­tion. The Big Damn Alien works well for shal­low pen­e­tra­tion, too, but going all-​in means you can savor every last sculp­tur­al detail of the tiered tex­ture pattern.
• RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/​5 fornix-​serving fuck­able. S‑tier. Enshrine the Big Damn Alien.

"If it weren't for the intense rib­bing lock­ing this fan­ta­sy dil­do inside me, I'd eject it with how hard I cum."

Specs: Big Damn Alien vs. Regular Damn Alien

Both the Damn Alien and Big Damn Alien fan­ta­sy dil­dos were designed by Kat, for­mer­ly known as Sheep from Damn Average. Now she's part of Uberrime's team, hand-​pouring these beau­ti­ful big bad­dies, mid-​sized mem­bers, and more.

As the name sug­gests, where these cos­mic crea­tures diverge is in girth and length. Here's how they mea­sure up to one another.

Measurements

If you can han­dle the girth, the Big Damn Alien is a no-​brainer for cer­vi­cal fornix mas­sage. And it's fuck­ing machine com­pat­i­ble if you pick the Vac-​U-​Lock option! More on that in a bit.

Similarities

These cos­mic com­pan­ions share some DNA. Both the Damn Alien and Big Damn Alien:

• Feature promi­nent pearls, includ­ing three rows of bead­ed crowns and two small­er mounds near the bot­tom of the shaft
• Are hand-​poured to order — choose from one of over 100,000 colorways
• Come in three sil­i­cone den­si­ties by default: 0030, 0050, or 8A
• It can be made with a bul­let vibra­tor port at the base

Three tiers of out-​of-​this-​world rib­bing and pearling … starry-​eyed and dazed … I could have cried and gone crazy even just breath­ing and clench­ing around the Uberrime Big Damn Alien.

Silicone Density

What do these num­bers mean in prac­tice? In short:

• 0030 sil­i­cone den­si­ty is soft like warm gum­my candy
• 0050 is a lit­tle firmer, like cool gum­my candy
• 8A is still pli­able but tougher— think of a medi­um steak

Colors in the squishi­er 0030 tend to blur togeth­er into soft­er gra­di­ents, while the firmer 0050 and 8A retain the dis­tinct mar­bled col­or rib­bons. Keep that in mind when you pick your pigments!

Love it hard? Firmer sil­i­cone is avail­able upon request. (I'm a fan of 12A, as with the orig­i­nal Uberrime Night King.)

Triple Ridge Dildo Performance & Analysis

Theory meets thrust­ing when the Big Damn Alien per­forms its prob­ing duties for close encoun­ters of the plea­sur­able kind.

"'Oh, fuck,' I whim­pered at the Uberrime Big Damn Alien's first thrust against my cervix."

How This Alien Lines Up With My Anatomy

• The triple crown design kneads all along my front wall, espe­cial­ly the G‑spot, when angled forward.
• If I have it all the way in, it's the nodes toward the bot­tom that dig in for front wall stim­u­la­tion, a lit­tle off to the side, for indi­rect G‑spot and inter­nal cli­toral caresses
• Cervix mas­sage with the Big Damn Alien works best when I turn it 
  • The bead­ed coro­nas press on the sides of my walls, while the bottom-​most bumps grip the dip along my G‑spot with the most sat­is­fy­ing “pop.”

How the Big Damn Alien Felt In Use

If the Big Damn Alien is turned fac­ing the side or my back wall, any thrust­ing will do: jack­ham­mer­ing, jig­gling, nudg­ing behind my cervix with short puls­es, hold­ing it in place for steady pres­sure. It all flips the “eject oxy­tocin” switch for me.

I felt like I'd go crazy if I didn't cum on it — and I felt like like I'd go crazy if I did.

"I nev­er could quite get into thank­ing a Dom or top for every sin­gle spank, but I found myself think­ing 'God,' and 'Yes,' and 'Please,' and 'Thank you' every time this dil­do dipped in me."

I am a test sub­ject demon­strat­ing the absur­di­ty of human horny, gasp­ing and grunt­ing like an undig­ni­fied ani­mal on the Big Damn Alien. If it weren't for the intense rib­bing lock­ing this fan­ta­sy dil­do inside me, I'd eject it with how hard I cum.

I cov­ered my mouth like I'd be scream­ing and beg­ging for mer­cy if some­one pushed me to cum like this again and again. Every orgasm got me more dazed and vul­ner­a­ble to com­pli­ance if they just want­ed to cum in me.

Uberrime's Big Damn Alien is hyp­not­ic; I'm high on oxytocin.

Port or No Port: Which Base to Get

You can get the Uberrime Big Damn Alien in one of three base styles:

• A flat base is stur­di­est on its own, best for O‑ring har­ness­es, and com­pat­i­ble with double-​sided suc­tion cup adapters — which can be used on Body Dock-​style harnesses
• The bul­let cav­i­ty is best used with the Blush Limited Addiction bul­let, but will fit oth­er 0.9” diam­e­ter bul­lets, like the BMS Swan Maximum. A sil­i­cone port plug can be slot­ted in if there are times you'd pre­fer to grip a flat base with­out the bot­tom of the bul­let stick­ing out.
• A Vac-​U-​Lock port can be used with cer­tain fuck­ing machines. My top picks are Doc Johnson's Power Banger for the full-​on expe­ri­ence or Velvet Thruster Mini Universal if you'd rather have some­thing com­pact and easy to use.

And with all the bumps and bulbs along the shaft, the Mini Universal Thruster's 1.5” stroke length is more than enough to get me writhing and whim­per­ing — effortlessly.

[Watch the Mini Universal Thruster in action.]

[Further read­ing: Thrusting Toys vs. My Gorilla Grip Coochie]

So which base style should you get the Uberrime Big Damn Alien in? It depends on which of the fol­low­ing is most impor­tant to you:

• Stability when hand-​thrusting — can't beat the sol­id shaft and flat base at this! Plus, a double-​sided suc­tion cup gives you some ver­sa­til­i­ty for riding
• Bullet cav­i­ty if you real­ly care about hav­ing a vibrat­ing dil­do rat­tle your insides
• Vac-​U-​Lock port if fuck­ing machine attach­ment is a must-​have for beat­ing your walls the fuck up.

While I love the nov­el­ty of mount­ing my Uberrime Big Damn Alien on a fuck­ing machine, hand-​thrusting with a stur­dier shaft (thanks, port adapter!) gives me more con­trol of the stroke length. And that means the ver­sa­til­i­ty to do long, sen­su­al strokes, jack­ham­mer­ing, and nudg­ing pulses.

[Further read­ing: Types of Dildo Bases — and Things You Can Do With Them]

Uberrime Big Damn Alien Pros & Cons

What I Wish Was Different

I would have loved a longer, less abrupt­ly angled head.

It would press into my cervix while the pearls glide along my ante­ri­or wall — G‑spotting, A‑spot stim­u­la­tion, and cervix mas­sage all at once would be divine. The way the Big Damn Alien is now, I tend to turn the ridges fac­ing front for G‑spotting and to the side for a dif­fer­ent sen­sa­tion on my cer­vi­cal fornix.

And that's more than worth it — it's not per­fect for me, but it's dang close.

What I Love About the Big Damn Alien

• Works well for both shal­low and deep penetration
• Four areas of wall-​gripping rip­ples — triple ridge plus bump on the shaft
• Intense, next-​level G‑spotting sensations
• Otherworldly edg­ing
• It bash­es my cervix when I turn it so the bumps face my side walls 
  • 7 inch­es insertable length
• Glossy fin­ish slips in so easily
• THIIIIICCCCCCC with 2‑inch max­i­mum diameter
• Fucking machine com­pat­i­ble (Vac-​U-​Lock version)

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/​5 fornix-​serving fuck­able. S‑tier. Enshrine the Big Damn Alien.

What I Love About Uberrime Dildos

• Multiple firm­ness options (0030, 0050, 8A) to suit preferences
• Versatile base options and adapters
• High-​quality, body-​safe silicone
• Customizable with over 100,000 col­or­way options
• Hand-​poured to order for qual­i­ty control

Mission Report: Ready For Abduction!

Uberrime's Big Damn Alien is beyond worth it; it's a mas­ter­class in strate­gic tex­ture place­ment — ecsta­t­i­cal­ly overwhelming.

Absolutely bul­ly­ing my insides in the best way … It did its job stu­pid­ly quickly.

While the reg­u­lar Damn Alien's tiered ridges, FKA Average Alien, were delight­ful for coital align­ment tech­nique — bend­ing to rub both my G‑spot and my clit — they weren't made to go all the way in.

Cumming on the Big Damn Alien, though? My web­site redesign might have to include an “EXTRA SPICY” label with pep­per emo­jis for the real­ly erot­ic reviews like this one.

I high­ly rec­om­mend the Big Damn Alien's bead­ed coro­nas to any­one who:

• Craves intense tex­tures and loves grip­ping knot­ty sen­sa­tions near the entrance
• Enjoys both G‑spot/​prostate mas­sage and deep pen­e­tra­tion play
• Really fuck­ing loves pen­e­tra­tion in every posi­tion, whether the ridges are fac­ing their front wall or back wall
• Savors some­thing sub­stan­tial­ly girthy. At 2” across, it's cer­tain­ly above aver­age com­pared to human cocks
• Values arti­san crafts­man­ship — the hand-​poured col­ors are just delectable!

Bottom line: If you're a tex­ture slut who loves going deep, this alien inva­sion is one you'll wel­come repeatedly.

Further Reading: