Review: Uberrime Anurian dildo bigger than soda can + Oxballs Honcho
I feel like a fucking athlete after using a dildo thicker than a soda can from a cold start.
The Uberrime Anurian looks flashy AF next to beverage containers in photos, but its Amazon forest aesthetic is at least as showstopping as its size. “Ooh” and “AAAAA” at the tropical frog-inspired contours and color schemes — and how they dwarf my hand and wrist.
If that wasn’t enough, I next stuffed myself with the Oxballs Honcho plug in sizes 2 and 3. The latter is even girthier than the Anurian, filling my front hole with malleable magic. Clench, come, clench, come, repeat.
While both the Uberrime Anurian dildo and Oxballs Honcho feature phallic heads, their substantial sizes make them far from realistic — they’re fantastic phalluses and nothing less.
- I. Uberrime Anurian review — huge amphibian-themed dildo
- II. Oxballs Honcho review — huge phallic pussy plug
Uberrime Anurian review — huge amphibian-themed dildo
THICC doesn’t even begin to describe it. The Uberrime Anurian is VOLUPTUOUS.
I get cottagecore vibes from its aposematic and amphibious nature. As its name suggests, the Uberrime Anurian resembles a hybrid between a human phallus and a mythical frog (order: Anura), straddling the overlap of land and water. Enjoy it alone or as a warmup for fisting.
This stylized sculpt features:
- A biiiiig stretch with a 2.7” maximum diameter and 8” of length (6.5” insertable)
- Two tapered, stylized lobes atop the bulbous head
- Curved ridges radiating from the frenulum down the shaft
- Slimming down near the bottom, then flaring back out at the base, like an extreme vaginal plug
- The neck measures about 1.8” at the narrowest diameter
- A clitoral hood-like “orientation knob” so you know which way the inserted portion is facing
It’s somewhat squishy at Shore 0050 silicone density — certainly softer than the similarly-sized Tantus Bishop and Fist Trainer. Yet, the Uberrime Anurian is still intimidating. “It looks like it’s going to kill me, and I’ll thank it,” a friend commented when I showed him. Given the gargantuan girth, it takes a lot of force to get the Anurian to fit inside me; I prefer to sit on it and let my weight do the work.
- Total length — 8”
- Insertable length — 6.5”
- Maximum head diameter — 2.7”
- Base neck diameter — 1.8”
- Base diameter — 3.18”
How the Anurian felt in use
I insert the head at first and hover there for a while to warm up. It’s easy to get the somewhat pointy tip in before the size swells like a ski slope on one side. If you’re using it vaginally, I suggest guiding and angling it toward the back wall first so there’s less pressure on the urethra. As well, the dildo’s protruding hole is super pronounced, so consider turning that side to less-sensitive the back wall.
Once I could get the Uberrime Anurian dildo tip in, the short, sharp breaths commenced. It was overwhelming at first; I reminded myself to breathe more slowly to prolong the orgasm, as if that would matter that much. I’d cum again in a few seconds, anyway.
The corona starkly contrasts with the notch/sulcus under it — 2.7” diameter vs. 2.4”, respectively. This head shape gives a satisfying “pop” at the bottommost (read: tightest) third of my vagina. Using the Uberrime Anurian isn’t quite AAAAAAAA like with the Je Joue G‑Kii, but more like a full-bodied fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk or aaaaaAaaAaaahhhhh. I’d rather go in deeper with it.
Getting it all the way inside vaginally
My vagina consumed the entire length, and because of the ski-slope tip, it slid behind my cervix easily. I sat down on it, consuming the 6.5” insertable portion while the tightest part of my vaginal opening wrapped around the thinner shaft.
To adjust the depth, I did the following:
- Started by squatting on it, balanced on the balls of my feet
- Set my feet flat down
- Switched to getting on my knees
THEN started the slow, starry-eyed gasping. Every nudge made me cum harder. Riding it with quick, short strokes. I’ve never thought, “Ooh na na, what’s my name?” after an orgasm, mainly because the post-fuck come-down never necessitated names. But I did ponder in a daze, “Fuck, can I turn the combination lock to my return to my review queue vault (i.e., bedroom) right now?
There are some minor quirks. For one, the relatively thin “neck” buckles under pressure while I’m sitting on it; I have to use my hand to stabilize it at first. And once I could ride the Anurian, I kind of wished it would have a suction cup base so that I wouldn’t lift it with every “out” stroke. In the meantime, one of the following will have to do:
- Pairing it with a double-sided suction cup
- Manually holding it down as I ride
The Uberrime Anurian is too big and bulky to put in a cushion-style toy mount, which, admittedly, is a good “problem” to have. This huge dildo is all the better to put on a mirror while hovering over it. Even I wonder at my reflection, “How does she fit that inside her? Fuck if I know, but she looks hot doing it and cumming that hard.”
Uberrime Anurian dildo pros and cons
- Too big for some users — it’s obvious, but it had to be said. Even my friend who had seen the Anurian in photos was shocked by its size in person.
- It’s suuuper ridable but not quite hands-free. The flat base and slimmer shaft work best with a guiding hand or mounting accessory for added stability.
- BIIIIIIG STRETCH = BIIIIIIG orgasms
- SQUISH, SQUISH
- The plug-style shaft is easy to clench around
- The Head notch is filling and slightly G‑spotty
- Tapered tip slips fornix easily
- Off-centered, relatively cervix-friendly
- Ridges galore
- FOUR COLORS MARBLED TOGETHER!
- A feast for the eyes
I recommend the Uberrime Anurian to any size royalty that loves length and strategically (but liberally) placed girth. It’s not here for raw, brute-force, womb bludgeoning; it was created to conform to the vaginal walls and is worth every inch. As is the case with all of Uberrime’s handmade platinum silicone dildos.
Oxballs Honcho review — huge phallic pussy plug
What’s more, right after the Uberrime Anurian, the Honcho size 2 (4” insertable by 2.3” maximum diameter) was a relatively easy-breezy insertion. I probably should have used the Honcho and then the Anurian, but you live and learn. These plugs make a great warm-up for even bigger insertions.
What makes the Oxballs Honcho unique?
Unlike the bean-shaped Oxballs Ergo, the Honcho is meant to be semi-representational in shape. It’s a round, bulbous plug with an oval-shaped base and cinched neck. There’s a phallic coronal ridge, a urethra, and veins, but I don’t have to explain why this plug is far from realistic, yeah? Imagine a water balloon that starts penis-shaped but gets overfilled. That’s what the Oxballs Honcho plug’s roundness reminds me of.
The Honcho models I got are suuuuuuper soft, with flat purple and glittery plum pigment. It’s so squishy that it doesn’t even register on my Shore A durometer. Like, “be careful with long nails” level softness. Hypothetically, the base (3” long by 2” wide) flexes quite comfortably between the cheeks, but that’s not how I wore it. The Oxballs Honcho super soft is “super easy to push out of my vagina” level softness.
Honcho squishy plug measurements
- 4.0” insertable length
- 4.7” inches total length
- 3.5 to 5.5” circumference
- 1.8” maximum diameter
- 4.5” insertable length
- 5.0” inches total length
- 4.2 to 7.5” circumference
- 2.3” maximum diameter
- 5.0” insertable length
- 5.5” total length
- 5.0 to 8.8” circumference
- 2.8” maximum diameter
How it felt to use the size 2
It smooshed right inside me with a satisfying pop since there was such a contrast between the head and neck. I came quickly once it was in, starting a feedback loop where, with every orgasm, my vagina would reflexively push it out, and my hand would push it back in, and the bulging girth against my internal clitoris would make me cum, and my vagina would push it out, and so on.
How it felt to use the size 3
The Oxballs Honcho size 2 doesn’t reach my cervix, but the Size 3 does. Its girth took some more effort. I sat on it initially, with my hand stabilizing the neck. Rather than thrusting and bulging against my G‑spot, it locked in place, usually staying steady even when I came. Which I did, again, nearly non-stop.
There was centered tension against my cervix, blurring the line between pleasure and pain — maybe a 70%-30% breakdown, respectively. The silicone is soooooo soft that each clench pulled the Honcho in and elongated it slightly, pressing harder against the ceiling.
It’s like someone knocking on your door, making empty threats to break into your house. I came by squeezing it vaginally alone, but rubbing my clit made it even more intoxicating.
Take your time with it to get it in, and savor this veiny dick once it’s already in its happy place.