4 Tips For Basic Blowjob Troubleshooting

An anonymous follower asked this question about oral sex:

Hello, when I give blowjobs to my boyfriend, some­times he shakes and quiv­ers but recent­ly he has stopped doing that. He also has nev­er come from blowjobs and so I'm won­der­ing if that means I'm ter­ri­ble at giv­ing oral. He's real­ly big and thick and my mouth is tiny… I also have a short tongue so I can't do much with it. Do you have any advice? Please help.


Dear anonymous,

Blow job glitch art

Some guys are more dif­fi­cult to make cum than oth­ers, and people’s tastes do change over time. I don’t think it means you’re ter­ri­ble at giv­ing oral. There’s a lot that could be going on, but here’s a basic checklist.


1. Are the tip, shaft, and balls all being stimulated?

Not nec­es­sar­i­ly all at once, but if you’re ignor­ing his balls and shaft, that’s some­thing you could change. I'd say go for at least two at the same time. You could fon­dle his balls, or stroke the shaft while suck­ing the tip, or suck the balls while stroking the tip, etc. There are so many nerve end­ings to work with, so use them to your full advantage!


2. Are you being consistent?

Consistency is always essen­tial, but some guys need A LOT of it with­out breaks. If you’re tak­ing a lot of breaks for breath­ing, then learn to take more effi­cient breaths in between thrusts. Take a small breath each time you push your head towards him or pull away, and keep track of the rhythm. Breathe in, in, in, in. Out, out, out, out. 1–2‑3–4, and so on.


3. What’s going on with your teeth and throat?

This ques­tion is par­tic­u­lar­ly applic­a­ble to the "big dick and small mouth" prob­lem. Open wide, tilt your head way back to avoid teeth, and stick your tongue out so that the tip of his dick is hit­ting the area between your tongue and soft palate of your mouth roof.

NOTE: Some peo­ple real­ly like teeth against their gen­i­tals. Have good com­mu­ni­ca­tion — ask first, and start with light, graz­ing pres­sure if they say yes.

Struggling with a bad gag reflex during blow jobs?
  1. Squeeze your thumb tight­ly in a fist to dis­tract your brain and desen­si­tize your gag reflex. I don't know how it works, but it does work for a lot of people
  2. If the thumb trick doesn't work, you can push and curl your tongue back. That way, the tip of his dick will be between the bot­tom side of your tongue and the hard palate, and you won’t have throat problems.

4. Pay attention to the coronal ridge

That's where the tip joins the shaft, and it's one of the most crit­i­cal parts. There has to be some con­sis­tent fric­tion and pres­sure on that part of the tip, whether it’s:

  • in your hand
  • against your cheek
  • your tongue against it
  • between your tongue and hard palate
  • between your tongue and soft palate
  • way, way back in your throat

With some extra atten­tion on this espe­cial­ly sen­si­tive part, take note of what your part­ner likes. If you're a per­son with a cli­toris play­ing with a per­son with a penis, also remem­ber that the sets of gen­i­tals aren't that dif­fer­ent — it's the same tis­sue in a dif­fer­ent shape.


Most importantly, enjoy it!

Have a good time with it!

At least half of great sex is enthu­si­asm and read­ing your partner's cues. Explore each other's bod­ies and make that part of the fun.

5 Responses

  1. B R says:

    My wife real­ly enjoys giv­ing me a blowjob, but doesn't like me to cum in her mouth and will not swal­low. I'd love for her to enjoy those, too. I've asked what about it she directd like, but can't get a defin­i­tive answer. Suggestions?

  2. Nero says:

    The first two sen­tences from Anonymous could have been writ­ten about me. My wife is great* at blowjobs/​handjobs but I nev­er seem to be able to come that way, as much as my wife wants me to.
    *Yes that may sound like an oxy­moron but its not. Her mouth feels great on me but I can nev­er cli­max. Every time I get close she stops or changes rhythm/​technique.
    I real­ly should show her your post but after 25+ years togeth­er I know she would not respond pos­i­tive­ly (trust me, I know). But its a great post so I will share it.

  3. Trix says:

    Cool to get such spe­cif­ic, use­ful tips!

  4. Clara says:

    This is a love­ly guide and was super helpful

  1. August 2018

    […] good sex advice thanks to many knowl­edge­able sex blog­gers. Super Smash Cache has a great post with tips for a basic blowjob and Carly from Dildo or Dildon’t expands on that with her post on deepthroat­ing. Fairy […]

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