6 Reasons Why "Vibrator Addiction" is BULLSHIT
Even the most supportive friends can have misconceptions.
"I don't know how you still have sensitivity," I often hear when I talk about my We-Vibe Tango. "Don't vibrators numb you? I mean, a man can't compete with that."
My short answer is, "No, vibrators don't numb you."
My long answer is, "Not necessarily, but technique matters. People's tastes can change over time, and that's going to happen either way, whether you use vibrators or not."
1. Vibrator intensity isn't a problem; repetition is
Repetition is what can become a problem. A worried state of mind about a vibrator ruining your sexual response is what can become a problem.
It's mostly if you use one toy, on the same setting, in the same way, every single time. In that case, your body might get conditioned to respond to those one or two uniform methods, but that depends on how quickly the person gets caught in a rut.
If you have a vibrator that you use on many settings, moving it around your vulva, mixing it in with masturbating the way you did before you had toys, your body gets conditioned to respond to those vibrations AND what it responded to before.
If you're focused on what feels pleasurable, instead of fretting about whether you're going to orgasm, you're in a more responsive state of mind. What's more, using a vibrator can lead to long-term benefits. The perks include increases in sensitivity because, 1.) you get to know your body better, and 2.) you're increasing blood flow to the area.
2. A vibrator can only cause temporary numbness
Sure, the uniform motion of a vibrator might cause TEMPORARY numbness as your body filters out repetitive sensory information it doesn't need. It's similar to how you're not aware of the sound of your fan or air conditioner after hearing it all the time.
But hardly anyone has their vibrator turned on and attached to them 24/7. You can start low and turn the toy up as you progress in the session. With normal use, the numbing effect fades a few minutes afterward and is not a problem in the long run.
3. Sexual ruts can happen even without a vibrator
What people think is long-term desensitization due to intense stimulation, is more often an issue of getting into a rut and being habituated to one form of stimulation. That could happen when you masturbate to a particular kind of porn and nothing else for a long time.
That could happen if you get complacent with a partner and don't mix things up, doing the same sequence and position every time. That could happen if you grow so incredibly close to a partner that you orgasm at their command, but feel downright weird the first time you hook up with someone else.
And yes, getting habituated could happen if you use a vibrator, but could the same could be said about attachment to any repeated stimulation.
4. It's okay if someone can't get off without a vibrator.
If someone wasn't orgasmic without a vibrator, but easily orgasmed once they tried one, it's not the ibrator's fault.
It just means that the other methods didn't work for their bodies that well. They're just doing what they've discovered does work for them.
Let's imagine you don't fancy pistachio ice cream, but it was the only flavor wherever you went. You one day find an ice cream parlor that also served mango, lemon, and raspberry sorbets. They're friggin' delicious! It's not like the mango sorbet suddenly made you find pistachio unpalatable.
It might raise your standards for how good ice cream can be, but you had always disliked pistachio, to begin with. You're still excited that you've found something different you like, and that's okay. Not everyone has to love pistachio.
But what about having orgasms with a partner?
Maybe you're on a date, and your partner likes pistachio, but you like mango. You can order:
- One flavor to share this time and the other the next
- A scoop of each in the same bowl and chow down
- Separate bowls
That is, you can take turns having your partner focus on your pleasure, or a vibrator on yourself while pleasuring them. Vibrators add variety. They only "ruin" penis-in-vag if you let them.
And yes, some people like both pistachio ice cream AND tart fruit sorbets because they're different. The small, uniform pressure changes from a vibrator don't make the larger rubbing motions of a finger obsolete. Vibrators aren't inherently more intense or better or worse than manual stimulation. They're just different.
5. Having a car doesn't ruin walking
In the case of extremely powerful vibrators, it's kind of like having a car. Having a car doesn't ruin walking.
Sometimes you have more time to get to a place close by, and walking isn't a big deal. Sometimes you drive to the corner store because you're just feeling lazy. Some people have lifestyles where they need to take long commutes, while others can walk everywhere they need to go.
Someone who walks less MIGHT be less physically fit, but there's no inherent reason most people can't drive AND stay in practice with exercise. Cars and vibrators are merely tools.
6. Sex toys don't replace people
Finally, you can also spoon-feed your partner their favorite ice cream flavor. Sure, they CAN enjoy ice cream on their own, and that's valid. But experiencing something already fantastic with someone who makes your heart skip makes it even better.
Ice cream and vibrators are pleasurable things, and cars are useful to have, but they don't replace human company.
Even with the tastiness and convenience of ice cream by yourself, an ice cream date can still be fun, and even with a car, you can enjoy a promenade with someone.
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Very enlightening post and good points, thank you!!
"If you use one toy, on the same setting, in the same manner, every single time, your body gets conditioned to respond to those one or two uniform methods."
I might be a person who breaks this rule, but I'm even cautious to say that that much is true. I have gone months with using only my Tango, only in a certain way, on the same setting for every session and then was still able to easily get off with another vibrator once I finally got one to review that didn't suck. I think some people could be more sensitive to a rut, though.
I feel absolutely 100% certain that vibrators have made me more sensitive over time.
That's a very good point! I'll edit the post to add that.
I guess it's not so much that doing something the same way every time causes problems, but that if someone is worried about desensitizing, mixing up the routine can give them peace of mind.
I think vibrators made me more sensitive over time too, because I learned more about my body: things like what signals to expect and how to maintain an orgasm.