FAQ: Sex Toy Shopping For Beginners & Personal First Picks

What I got back then, and what I’d recommend now.

I’ll start with my prime penetration picks, because I just fucking love insertables, before going into:

• General guidelines for first-time sex toy shoppers
• What I got as my first toys
• What I would have done differently, and what I’ve learned over the years

What beginner-friendly dildos do you recommend?

You’re in for a treat: I wrote a post all about this topic!

It covers all kinds of explorer-friendly toys for vaginal penetration — whether you’re a total beginner or comfortable with insertions but want to get really specific with your internal hot spots. Tip-drilling, shallowing, deep dives, G-spot, A-spot, cervix massage, you name it; it’s all there.

Beginner-friendly doesn’t mean only for beginners — and simple can be soul-snatching.

Related posts

• The soul-snatching starter pack (vaginal penetration edition)
• Dilator kit & how-to guide (focuses on XL sizes, but the techniques can be applied to penetration in general)
• I don’t write about receiving butt stuff these days (preferring to top a friend), but I do have an old post about general principles of beginner anal toys.

What else would you suggest for a beginner?

If you have little to no idea where to start

… here’s what I’d recommend:

• A flexible and reasonably priced G-spot vibrator that can be used internally or externally:
  • Voila’s Smartee is decently strong, can go deep, and hooks onto the G-spot well, making it an all-around beginner’s BFF
  • BMS’s Pillow Talk Sassy is more intense with richer vibrations but flexible and limited in length, best used for shallow penetration or clitoral massage
• A glass dildo that can hit many internal hot spots — Jimmyjane’s Dillenia Gama reigns supreme here. It’s one of my all-time favorite toys.
• A top-tier wand massager with a wide speed range and great controls, like the Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen. We’re not saying “good for beginners” as a cop-out here — Pulse Queen is seriously one of the best compact massagers you can get, OMG!
• A compact bullet vibrator where you can get to know how much vibration intensity you need and when
  • BMS’s Swan Maximum Bullet is small but mighty, with a hard shell and lipstick-style slant for transferring vibrations well
  • Je Joue’s Duet isn’t as intense motor-wise, but it’s luxuriously deep and rumbly, thicker and squishier with stud textures, great for tip drilling.
  • Blush Novelties’ Gaia Eco is minimalistic, fine as a slender insertable, and weaker but hard to beat price-wise

And don’t forget the lube! A thick water-based or hybrid formula is your best bet. Try Sliquid Sassy, Sliquid Silk, Pussy Willow, or Sensuva Erosense.

If you have a good idea of what you like

I suggest you use the tag filters on my toy reviews page to narrow down what features are important to you.

Some of the posts will be marked with little stickers saying, “ALL-TIME FAVE” or “TOP BUDGET PICK,” because for beginner sex toy buyers, it’s all about balancing:

• Versatility – try a range of settings or sensations with one toy
• Specialization – some toys are better for specific tasks than others
• Price – if you try something that doesn’t work for you, you can learn from it and quickly move on to a better fit

Recommendations for specific toys depend on how much you know about your preferences:

• What erogenous zones are you targeting?
• Do you want focused or broad vibrations?
• Do you prefer deep or shallow penetration?
• Do you like realistic-looking dildos or silly shapes?
• Would you rather have something firm or squishy?

I don’t assume that beginners to sex toys or to my website are new to sexual exploration in general, but there’s probably something in Toyland tailored to you!

What were your first sex toys?

My first sex toys ever were glass dildos — one a generic clear mushroom tip dildo with blue veins, and the other a ubiquitous bent and beaded G-spot wand. I loved dicking myself deep with the straight-shafted one and discovered cervical orgasms that way!

That doesn’t mean it’s the path for you, but it’s an honest reflection of just one person’s early erotic exploration.

Other early honorable mentions include:

• The now-discontinued Lovehoney Sqweel Go, which had tiny silicone tongues on a spinning wheel
• Tantus’s Silk Large — slick, minimalist, frill-free with just a slight swell and tilt
• A plastic “egg-on-a-stick”-style G-spot vibrator — which didn’t do much for me internally but did the job externally!
• Tantus Splash — a drippy textured dildo with bumps galore, which I won from a giveaway!
• Fifty Shades of Grey Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls — these stainless steel vaginal weights are no joke.
• A knockoff of the njoy Pure Wand, a legendary G-spotting missile shape

Nowadays, I know better about material safety — and I loooove luxury stainless steel even more than before!

Further reading

• THROWBACK: 5 First Sex Toys, 10 Years Later!
• 3 of My First Sex Toys (and Better Alternatives I Should Have Gotten Instead!)