Why do you write about sexuality & sex toys? How did that passion start?

So many facets of my life converged into sex blogging — including my apathy towards hookup culture and my exploration of meditation to orgasm.

But if I had to choose just two pivotal moments, they would be:

• When I was 18 and deciding which toys to add to my spicy wishlist, wondering, “What the fuck even is jelly?”
• When I was 23 and fucking loved cervical orgasms — while also tired of sweeping generalizations about women’s preferences in the bedroom. I felt like an outlier for loving deep penetration even more than clitoral stimulation. So I stepped up to be the representation I wanted to see in the industry — and collaborated to create cocks I love.

Oh, how the toy landscape has changed since I started! Let’s break it down.

[E]xpanding orgasms everywhere and making vanilla a spice again.

Why I started writing about sex toy materials

What is this mystery material that cheap sex toys are made of? And why did that one sex shop site tell me to lick a toy to see if my tongue would go numb? That’s not very reassuring to a shopper!

If something goes inside me, knowing what it contains is critical. A sex toy not harming a human is the bare minimum standard.

I learned many alarming things about toxic sex toy materials, including that they:

• Are porous, allowing germs to grow under the surface
• Can melt, leech plastic softeners, and possibly irritate your tissues
• Contain endocrine disrupters, meaning they affect your reproductive health
• And yes, it’s true that cheap sex toys can contain carcinogens

There’s no regulation on how toy materials are labeled in the industry. I’ve had friends ask, “Why would it be legal to sell if it was harmful?” — not realizing that sex toy material safety isn’t a topic most politicians would want to touch.

It wasn’t common knowledge at the time, and I wanted more people to know that.

The state of the sex toy industry back then

Nowadays, the average consumer is more aware of the importance of high-quality materials.

But that didn’t happen overnight; it was a slow spread made possible by the blogs of the 2010s. (Hi, you’re reading one now!)

• Sex toy reviewers and independent sex shops educated shoppers on what to look for…
• Which shifted buyer demand…
• Which incentivized manufacturers to prioritize body-safe sex toys…
• Which means less guesswork and more great toys that won’t break the bank!

I don’t take for granted everything it took to get here.

But I didn’t want to stop at the bare minimum for a sex toy that doesn’t suck — one that doesn’t harm human tissues.

I wanted to share stories of the toys that took my pleasure to the next level.

Why I wanted to dive deeper (literally)

Cervix stimulation was pivotal to my pleasure.

It’s not about jackhammering; it’s about finesse and rhythm once you’re all the way in. The orgasms feel deep, full-bodied, buildable, like I could have many back-to-back with just another nudge or shift of my weight.

Cervix massage via deep penetration — stimulating the vagus, pelvic, and hypogastric nerves— is my favorite way to get off.

And some people find that contentious, considering that the clitoris is the MVP for most women.

Here’s the thing: the MVP for other women isn’t at odds with what works for me. Why not advocate for both and more?

I love all kinds of pleasure:

• Cervical orgasms
• Clitoral orgasms
• Nipple orgasms
• Breath and energy orgasms
• Orgasms from pain
• Orgasms from just being really fucking turned on, hearing your partner’s voice, psyching yourself out when cuddling
• Vanilla, kinky — you name it!

I find that I’m generally happier when I’m open to possibilities and a wide range of (fMRI-supported!) ways to feel good. I want to make room for all kinds of enthusiastically risk-aware and consensual pleasure.

That’s what I mean by expanding orgasms everywhere and making vanilla a spice again.

Further reading

• How do you make yourself cum so easily?