FAQ: Sex Toy Shopping For Beginners & Personal First Picks

What I got back then, and what I'd rec­om­mend now.

I'll start with my prime pen­e­tra­tion picks, because I just fuck­ing love inserta­bles, before going into:

• General guide­lines for first-​time sex toy shoppers
• What I got as my first toys
• What I would have done dif­fer­ent­ly, and what I've learned over the years

What beginner-friendly dildos do you recommend?

You're in for a treat: I wrote a post all about this topic!

It cov­ers all kinds of explorer-​friendly toys for vagi­nal pen­e­tra­tion — whether you're a total begin­ner or com­fort­able with inser­tions but want to get real­ly spe­cif­ic with your inter­nal hot spots. Tip-​drilling, shal­low­ing, deep dives, G‑spot, A‑spot, cervix mas­sage, you name it; it's all there.

Beginner-​friendly doesn't mean only for begin­ners — and sim­ple can be soul-snatching.

Related posts

• The soul-​snatching starter pack (vagi­nal pen­e­tra­tion edition)
• Dilator kit & how-​to guide (focus­es on XL sizes, but the tech­niques can be applied to pen­e­tra­tion in general)
• I don't write about receiv­ing butt stuff these days (pre­fer­ring to top a friend), but I do have an old post about gen­er­al prin­ci­ples of begin­ner anal toys.

What else would you suggest for a beginner?

If you have little to no idea where to start

… here's what I'd recommend:

• A flex­i­ble and rea­son­ably priced G‑spot vibra­tor that can be used inter­nal­ly or externally: 
  • Voila's Smartee is decent­ly strong, can go deep, and hooks onto the G‑spot well, mak­ing it an all-​around beginner's BFF
  • BMS's Pillow Talk Sassy is more intense with rich­er vibra­tions but flex­i­ble and lim­it­ed in length, best used for shal­low pen­e­tra­tion or cli­toral massage
• A glass dil­do that can hit many inter­nal hot spots — Jimmyjane's Dillenia Gama reigns supreme here. It's one of my all-​time favorite toys.
• A top-​tier wand mas­sager with a wide speed range and great con­trols, like the Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen. We're not say­ing "good for begin­ners" as a cop-​out here — Pulse Queen is seri­ous­ly one of the best com­pact mas­sagers you can get, OMG!
• A com­pact bul­let vibra­tor where you can get to know how much vibra­tion inten­si­ty you need and when 
  • BMS's Swan Maximum Bullet is small but mighty, with a hard shell and lipstick-​style slant for trans­fer­ring vibra­tions well
  • Je Joue's Duet isn't as intense motor-​wise, but it's lux­u­ri­ous­ly deep and rumbly, thick­er and squishi­er with stud tex­tures, great for tip drilling.
  • Blush Novelties' Gaia Eco is min­i­mal­is­tic, fine as a slen­der insertable, and weak­er but hard to beat price-wise

And don't for­get the lube! A thick water-​based or hybrid for­mu­la is your best bet. Try Sliquid Sassy, Sliquid Silk, Pussy Willow, or Sensuva Erosense.

If you have a good idea of what you like

I sug­gest you use the tag fil­ters on my toy reviews page to nar­row down what fea­tures are impor­tant to you.

Some of the posts will be marked with lit­tle stick­ers say­ing, "ALL-​TIME FAVE" or "TOP BUDGET PICK," because for begin­ner sex toy buy­ers, it's all about balancing:

• Versatility — try a range of set­tings or sen­sa­tions with one toy
• Specialization — some toys are bet­ter for spe­cif­ic tasks than others
• Price — if you try some­thing that doesn't work for you, you can learn from it and quick­ly move on to a bet­ter fit

Recommendations for spe­cif­ic toys depend on how much you know about your preferences:

• What eroge­nous zones are you targeting?
• Do you want focused or broad vibra­tions?
• Do you pre­fer deep or shal­low pen­e­tra­tion?
• Do you like realistic-​looking dil­dos or sil­ly shapes?
• Would you rather have some­thing firm or squishy?

I don't assume that begin­ners to sex toys or to my web­site are new to sex­u­al explo­ration in gen­er­al, but there's prob­a­bly some­thing in Toyland tai­lored to you!

What were your first sex toys?

My first sex toys ever were glass dil­dos — one a gener­ic clear mush­room tip dil­do with blue veins, and the oth­er a ubiq­ui­tous bent and bead­ed G‑spot wand. I loved dick­ing myself deep with the straight-​shafted one and dis­cov­ered cer­vi­cal orgasms that way!

That doesn't mean it's the path for you, but it's an hon­est reflec­tion of just one person's ear­ly erot­ic exploration.

Other ear­ly hon­or­able men­tions include:

• The now-​discontinued Lovehoney Sqweel Go, which had tiny sil­i­cone tongues on a spin­ning wheel
• Tantus's Silk Large — slick, min­i­mal­ist, frill-​free with just a slight swell and tilt
• A plas­tic "egg-on-a-stick"-style G‑spot vibra­tor — which didn't do much for me inter­nal­ly but did the job externally!
• Tantus Splash — a drip­py tex­tured dil­do with bumps galore, which I won from a giveaway!
• Fifty Shades of Grey Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls — these stain­less steel vagi­nal weights are no joke.
• A knock­off of the njoy Pure Wand, a leg­endary G‑spotting mis­sile shape

Nowadays, I know bet­ter about mate­r­i­al safe­ty — and I loooove lux­u­ry stain­less steel even more than before!

Further reading

• THROWBACK: 5 First Sex Toys, 10 Years Later!
• 3 of My First Sex Toys (and Better Alternatives I Should Have Gotten Instead!)