There's a par­ty in your bed­room all night long

Pretty girl, it's a show; let it go when you're alone

— Cash Cash — Party in Your Bedroom

I'm bring­ing back a 2008 neon pop bop to match this PLASMA NEON BALL VIBRATOR's ener­gy — because if this toy isn't a par­ty in your bed­room, I don't know what is.

(Actually, I do know, and I'll elab­o­rate on that, too. Hint: I've lit­er­al­ly made sparks fly.)

Back to “The Orb Vibrator” — when you touch the glass sur­face, col­or­ful plas­ma fil­a­ments fol­low your fin­ger or nip­ple or clit or, real­ly, what­ev­er you're plac­ing this vibe on.

Tease your part­ner with it; who said doing it in the dark had to be boring?

---

---

The Orb Vibrator Measurements & Motors

Here's what else you need to know about The Orb Vibrator:

Its prod­uct page says to use it cli­toral­ly, but you know me — I found a way to use it for off-​label inser­tion. Specifically, it per­forms well for tip drilling (shal­low pen­e­tra­tion) while rock­ing back and forth against my clit. The “insertable” por­tion is about 2.5” long, and the “shaft” ramps from 1.4” to 1.8” wide.

Two but­tons inde­pen­dent­ly con­trol the two buzzy motors, each with 3 steady speeds and 7 pat­terns. The inten­si­ty is respectable for the price — noth­ing that knocks my socks off, but it'll do the job exter­nal­ly for me.

A Vibrator for Shallow Penetration

Inside, the curved shape does most of the work for me, hug­ging the con­tours of my vul­va. I keep the con­cave part against my exter­nal cli­toris while light­ly rock­ing the tip in and out, focus­ing on the legs of my inter­nal clitoris.

And that tap-​tap along the shal­low bits is one of the fastest ways to make me cum. If you're a fan of shal­low­ing with girthy inserta­bles, you might love adding this toy to your arse­nal, along with Playboy Pleasure's Ring My Bell thump­ing vibra­tor.

The Orb Vibrator is thick­er, while Ring My Bell pum­mels the pussy's out­side hard­er. Your mileage may vary, though. Pay atten­tion to the mea­sure­ments, as dual stim­u­la­tion vibra­tors are very anatomy-​specific. If you want simul­ta­ne­ous cli­toral and vagi­nal stim­u­la­tion, con­sid­er that:

• Ring My Bell is best for those with a clit-​vag gap of 1 inch.
• The Orb Vibrator is best for those with an inch or less.

Lucky for me, that's bang on with my measurements.

Toy Maintenance, Care, and Cleaning

Most of the Orb Vibrator is sil­i­cone except for, of course, the glass sphere. The mate­ri­als make it super easy to clean with soap and water or, if need­ed, a toy clean­er or dis­in­fec­tant. And yes, it's splashproof—just don't sub­merge it.

And don't use it:

• In water
• While the sphere is wet
• Without con­sult­ing a doc­tor if you have some­thing like a pace­mak­er implanted

Sparks & Electrosex Sensations

The plas­ma ball on this vibra­tor is main­ly for the visu­als — and maybe you want more than that. You want to elec­tri­fy your touch.

I gotchu, boo.

I've lit­er­al­ly made sparks fly.

If you want the light show and a light shock, get the Kinklab Neon Wand instead. By default, it comes with glass elec­trodes that, yes, form plas­ma fil­a­ments with touch! The shock is rel­a­tive­ly mild until you add the Power Tripper.

The Power Tripper attach­ment elec­tri­fies and arcs between you and every­one you touch. With that, the palm of your hand can deliv­er light tin­gles while your fin­ger­tips feel like nee­dles. Drag a met­al object against their skin for more intense sen­sa­tions. Or com­bine oral plea­sure with pin­point­ed pain.

It feels just like a tat­too and then you relax into it,” said a friend. “I slept so well that night.” A stronger, bona fide vio­let ray is also strong enough brand peo­ple with a cautery attach­ment, but that's beyond the scope of this post.

Closing Thoughts & Recommendations

[T]hat tap-​tap along the shal­low bits is one of the fastest ways to make me cum. If you're a fan of shal­low­ing with girthy inserta­bles, you'll love adding this toy to your arsenal…

To summarize The Orb Vibrator:

• Zingy motors
• Super afford­able
• Matte quilt­ed texture
• 5.3” total length x 2.3” max­i­mum width 
  • Use the big end to dif­fuse vibrations
  • Or to illu­mi­nate your partner's body
• 2.5” insertable length x 1.8” near the base 
  • Use it for tip drilling with vibra­tions inside
  • Rock the oth­er motor's vibra­tions against your clit, if you have a short clit-​vag gap
  • Or use the round­ed but nar­row­er tip for clit stim alone

Get the plas­ma ray vibra­tor at Peepshow Toys and take 10% off with code SUPERSMASHCACHE

Alternatives include:

• The Neon Wand + Power Tripper if you want to focus on elec­tro play
• Playboy’s Ring My Bell if you're going to focus on com­bin­ing shal­low pen­e­tra­tion with intense exter­nal sen­sa­tions. (Seriously, it made me cry with how hard I was cumming.)

Anyway, here's Ponderball.

(Why was that a major meme of late 2021? Idk, just like I don't know why slap­ping a chick­en at 3725.95 mph to cook it was a meme of ear­ly 2019.)