Latest posts on Super Smash Cache

Desirables Dalia Porcelain G-spot Dildo Review featured image banner

Desirables Dalia porcelain G-spot dildo review

Centuries from now, archaeologists will excavate my tomb and find sex toys. Thousands of sex toys— some in mild decay, and others entirely intact. My Blush Gaia Eco biodegradable vibrator might break down, but my njoy Pure Wand, Eleven, and Desirables Dalia will undoubtedly outlast me. It’s a travesty that I don’t have many hard...

Vixen Creations VixSkin Gambler review: HUGE dildo fatter than soda can

I’ve compared the stout and labor-like-scream-inducing Vixen Creations Randy to a soda can. But its girth is “only” comparable to a soda can’s top. The Gambler takes it a step farther, just shy of 3 inches wide. It’s bigger than a soda can’s widest cross-section, and certainly fatter than I’ve ever gone before. Instead of a...

Zolo Twist Anaconda Cup Review featured image banner

Zolo Twist Anaconda penis masturbator cup review

“Best orgasm I’ve had in a while just now using the stroker,” my boyfriend texted me on Christmas morning. “It lasted a while and was intense. Maybe partly because I’m still a bit stoned… I think it was how it squeezed my dick as I came. And it feels best pushed all the way in.”...

We-Vibe Nova Rabbit Vibrator Review Super Smash Cache Featured Image Banner

We-Vibe Nova review: rabbit vibrator with rumbly clitoral stimulator

The We-Vibe Nova addresses some of the most glaring shortcomings in the most overrated group of sex toys: rabbit vibrators. For one, the clitoral stimulation motor on the Nova is thuddy as all heck, with a rich timbre. If you’ve ever tried other brands’ rabbits, you’ve probably noticed that the clitoral prong is usually way...

Uberrime Xenuphora silicone tentacle dildo review featured image banner

Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle fantasy dildo review

It’s one thing to say that I enjoy vertical textures. It’s another to come via the twisting motion alone or to feel like I’d go insane if I stopped twisting the Uberrime Xenuphora‘s addictive angles left-and-right inside me. What’s more, I want to squish its deliciously textured shaft against my clit while thrusting. The Uberrime Xenuphora tentacle...

A Smashing Revival Reverie Giveaway: 11 sexy prizes

I must be dreaming; my commissions this past month were enough to pay for a future month of living costs?! So I HAD to host a giveaway and give something back to my loyal readers. Thank you for making this possible! And that happened within just a year of taking my blog from “for fun”...

November Monthly Faves, announcements, and personal updates banner ft. a photo of my upcoming giveaway prizes from Uberrime

November 2018 faves: sex toys, personal updates, and what’s coming up

I had a revelation when looking at my affiliate dashboards this month: for the first time, I’ve made enough money in a month from my blog alone to cover a future month’s worth of rent, utilities, and food. That’s the dream: I might be able to make sex blogging into my JOB job?!?! And if...

Uberrime Helios Sun God dildo featured image banner

Uberrime Helios Sun God textured dildo review

My first dildo from Uberrime wasn’t the Helios, but the story begins the same way: it almost too pretty to use. Almost. I oohed and aahed the delectably tight marbling of the colors. I commanded my boyfriend to hold a lamp over the sink as I took dozens of photos of the Night King in shimmery...

LELO Mona 2 review (...plus a more affordable alternative) featured banner

LELO Mona 2 luxury G-spot vibrator review (plus comparison to an affordable alternative)

You probably don’t need an introduction to LELO. They once revered as the luxury “it” brand, and I understand why. LELO offered sleek, body-safe, and woman-oriented Pleasure Objects that were ahead of their time. Despite the price hikes, the gimmicks, and the PR nightmares of recent years, the average person thinks of LELO as upscale and fancy....

10 Discreet and travel-friendly sex toys banner image

10 travel-friendly sex toys that discreetly fit in a sunglasses case

As much as I love my gigantic dildos, they’re not the most practical toys to take with me when I’m on-the-go or visiting family. Sometimes, I have only a backpack to fit my belongings in for the week. And a bulky VixSkin Outlaw isn’t easy to hide in the off-chance that my parents snoop through...

BS Atelier Max Poly Pride striped dildo review

Back when I was popular on FetLife and internet cucks showered me with gifts and worship, I probably could have requested any sex toy I wanted. But I understood so little about the sex toy industry that I hardly knew what to ask for. How I wish I could gift my 2012 self a BS...