Sultry Body Care: My Favorite Lube, Massage, CBD, Pheromones & More!

Pairing potions and lotions with your gadgets and gizmos galore

Whether you're driz­zling on dil­dos or lap­ping lube off a part­ner, you deserve to know the sex­u­al well­ness and body care prod­ucts I've:

• Actually used
• Continue(d) to use over time
• Would buy again

This mega-​guide includes lubes, lotions, arousal gels, pheromone per­fumes, con­doms, mas­sage creams, men­stru­al cups, and more.

I've been gift­ed many, but only a hand­ful have stood the test of time — I'll be clear on what's to love about them. I'll also include some options that aren't for me but you might adore, since your sit­u­a­tion and mileage may vary.

Keep it sim­ple, or get lux­u­ri­ous­ly las­civ­i­ous. Either way, I hope this list lev­els up your self-​care and part­ner play.

Take your time with the table of con­tents, because there's a loooot of ground to cov­er here.

Personal Lubricant

As an avid toy col­lec­tor, it's impor­tant to me that my pri­ma­ry every­day lube gets along well with:

• My sil­i­cone sex toys — I don't use pure sil­i­cone lube for­mu­las super often, as they can degrade sol­id sil­i­cone surfaces.
• My vagi­nal micro­bio­me — I lim­it the inter­nal use of hyper­os­mot­ic ingre­di­ents like glycerin/​glycerol, and propy­lene glycol
• Any con­doms used between my part­ner and me — I give my part­ner a heads-​up about when a prod­uct might increase the risk of con­dom breakage.

Safety-​wise, a water-​based lube is the way to max­i­mize com­pat­i­bil­i­ty for just about any appli­ca­tion. Hybrid lubes are an unsung hero in my house­hold — most­ly water, but with small amounts of sil­i­cone for long-​lasting lubri­ca­tion. And I find it hot that they look like cum.

Basic Water-​Based Lube

As far as min­i­mal­ist water-​based lube for­mu­las go, Sliquid and Good Clean Love are among my favorites and have been suu­u­u­per skin-​friendly for me. Their for­mu­la­tions are bal­anced in pH and osmo­lal­i­ty to match the vagi­nal microbiome.

Sliquid Sassy and Sliquid Sea

Sliquid Sassy has more plant cel­lu­lose for a slight­ly thick­er, gel-​like padding (than Sliquid's orig­i­nal for­mu­la). Sliquid Sea has added sea­weed extracts added for mois­ture, anti-​inflammation, and antiox­i­dant effects. 

Good Clean Love Almost Naked

Good Clean Love lube relies on aloe vera for its slip fac­tor and is (in my expe­ri­ence) more acces­si­ble in brick-​and-​mortar loca­tions — not just sex shops but also health food stores. It is sub­tly fla­vored with vanil­la and lemon.

Other Aloe-​Based Lubes

If you want aloe vera lube that isn't fla­vored at all, Aloe Cadabra is anoth­er one I've got­ten along with. I've also cut open aloe leaves to use the gel as a vagi­nal lubri­cant. The down­side of going the all-​natural route is that you must use it up quick­ly or refrig­er­ate it to stall micro­bial growth.

Hybrid Personal Lubricant

If you want juu­u­ust a bit of sil­i­cone for more lubric­i­ty or to sim­u­late cum, my favorites include the following.

Sliquid Silk

This prod­uct con­tains water, plant cel­lu­lose, sil­i­cone, and oth­er ingre­di­ents to keep the for­mu­la con­sis­tent and sus­tain its shelf life. The recipe is rel­a­tive­ly min­i­mal for what it is.

Pussy Willow by Intimate Earth

Pussy Willow con­tains the ingre­di­ents list­ed above, and addi­tion­al­ly, extracts of shi­itake mush­room, licorice root, aloe leaf, and goji fruit for sooth­ing, anti-​inflammatory, and skin-​softening properties.

Sensuva Erosense

Sensuva Erosense is made of sim­i­lar stuff to Sliquid Silk but adds aloe vera and propane­di­ol for a longer-​lasting slip (more on that in a bit).

Flavored Lube

So you want to have some more fun with man­u­al and oral sex but don't want to deal with the messi­ness of whipped cream — or any­thing to do with sug­ar near the vagina!

Here are some fla­vored lubes that actu­al­ly taste good for fla­vor­ing your fel­la­tio and cunnilingus.

Sliquid Swirl

Again, Sliquid keeps its for­mu­la the most min­i­mal and low-​impact, so it's my top pick if you're sen­si­tive down there — or if you plan on using it for vagi­nal intercourse.

The Cherry Vanilla and Green Apple fla­vors taste like can­dy — can­dy that's been arti­fi­cial­ly sweet­ened with aspar­tame, yes, but can­dy that com­ple­ments the nat­ur­al tart­ness of the fruit flavors.

Sutil Flavors

This for­mu­la is akin to Sutil Luxe Body Glide — more gel-​like, long-​lasting, and dries down like lotion. It relies on ste­via for sweet­ness and propane­di­ol for slickness.

My favorite Sutil fla­vors are mint (not too sweet) and coconut (think piña cola­da). Their vanil­la is also super sweet and has some bit­ter notes that remind me of maple syrup.

Exsens Mint Mojito Warming Intimate Massage Oil

This mint moji­to ren­di­tion is one of the most fun lube fla­vors I've ever tried. It tastes like it says: a sweet lime bev­er­age with a hint of mint.

There's a slight warm­ing sen­sa­tion, fun for con­trast by sigh­ing vs. blow­ing air wher­ev­er you've rubbed this fla­vored lube. I high­ly rec­om­mend it for blowjobs. The down­side is that it does con­tain glyc­erin, so I'd rec­om­mend keep­ing it external.

Water-​Based vs. Silicone-​Based vs. Oil-Based

I loooove water-​based lube, but you might not. If you love your sil­i­cone toys, you might be in the same boat — but there are oth­er rea­sons the best per­son­al lubri­cant for me might not be for you, and vice versa.

Water-​Based Lube Pros & Cons

Water-​based lube tends to be the safest for intrav­agi­nal use and com­bin­ing with con­doms or toys. Notably, Sliquid and Good Clean Love lack propane­di­ol, propy­lene gly­col, and glyc­erin, mak­ing them osmot­i­cal­ly bal­anced and less impact­ful on the vagi­nal epithe­lial cells.

The down­side is that it doesn't last as long as the oth­ers unless you reap­ply or light­ly spritz it with water (warn­ing: it can feel cold) to re-​wet it. As such, there are cer­tain sit­u­a­tions where some­one might use oth­er for­mu­las for dif­fer­ent reasons.

Ingredients to Use With Caution

Although these lube ingre­di­ents are gen­er­al­ly safe, it's impor­tant to know when to use them and when not to use them.

Pure Silicone Lubricants

Liquid sil­i­cone may melt sil­i­cone dil­do sur­faces, but it's great in oth­er appli­ca­tions, such as part­ner inter­course or with hard mate­r­i­al toys like glass and stain­less steel. A lit­tle goes a long way! Another unique prop­er­ty of sil­i­cone lube is that it's water-​resistant — use it for steamy show­er sex.

Silicone lubes I've tried and love include Überlube, pjur, and Sliquid Silver.

Oil-​Based Lube Formulas

Oils degrade latex con­doms and increase the like­li­hood of break­age. However, they're great for their lubri­cant longevi­ty and mois­tur­iz­ing prop­er­ties. You might like oil-​based lube (per­haps even straight-​up coconut oil) if you're main­ly using it for hand­jobs, exter­nal rub­bing, or bare­back anal play.

Oils and but­ters can be paired with vagi­nal inter­course, but I'd err on the side of cau­tion here. Also, maybe you're not using latex bar­ri­ers — there are oth­er mate­ri­als to explore, like polyurethane, lamb­skin, and nitrile, though they're more expensive.

Plant-​Based Propanediol

Propanediol does inter­act with the vagi­nal epithe­lial cells' water bal­ance, though it's not as harsh as high­ly osmo­lar glycerin/​glycerol. Propanediol can help water-​based lube last longer, some for­mu­las have a low­er con­cen­tra­tion of these ingre­di­ents than oth­ers, and a lit­tle goes a long way.

Small amounts of propane­di­ol are okay in my book. Why? Some propanediol-​based lubes have irri­tat­ed me and some haven't.

There's also a good rea­son Sutil's for­mu­las are so pop­u­lar: along with last­ing long and being suu­u­per slick, propane­di­ol also feels like a luxe lotion when it dries down. I might use such a lube more lib­er­al­ly exter­nal­ly, espe­cial­ly if it's fla­vored and I'm lick­ing it off a part­ner, and less so internally.

As always, I trust you know your micro­bio­me bet­ter than I do. Patch test first, observe your body's reac­tions in use, and decide for your­self the pros and cons.

Arousal Gels & Balms

There's a bal­ance to strike: I want an arousal gel that makes a defin­i­tive dif­fer­ence with­out being over­pow­er­ing. Since my vagi­na is quite sen­si­tive, keep­ing a sen­so­ry balm pri­mar­i­ly iso­lat­ed to the clit is gen­er­al­ly pre­ferred, too.

Bijoux Indiscrets' Slow Sex Clitoral Arousal Balm

This arousal balm from Bijoux Indiscrets con­tains L‑arginine and gin­seng for a warm­ing effect, draw­ing more blood flow and atten­tion to the area for enhanced sen­si­tiv­i­ty. Your mileage may vary, but I've found it gen­tle enough to rub between my labia for a sub­tly esca­lat­ing heat

It also absorbs super quick­ly (read: won't spread super far) and, as a bonus, tastes like coconuts

Morgasm Water-​Based Arousal Gel With CBD

Morgasm also con­tains L‑arginine, plus tingly mint to con­trast with the warm­ing effect, and of course, cannabid­i­ol for relax­ation and anti-inflammation.

I like Morgasm more as an exter­nal arousal gel — rub it against the clit and between the labia — than as an inter­nal lube. It also has a sub­tle vanil­la mint fla­vor, for those who are into that.

Use code SSC for 15% off Morgasm arousal gel.

Where to Get Condoms

I'm not on birth con­trol, I fuck­ing love deep pen­e­tra­tion, and insem­i­na­tion is reserved for my fan­tasies only, so con­doms are a must-​have. My part­ner and I go through them quite quick­ly, so here are sug­ges­tions to keep the cost from adding up.

(I per­son­al­ly tend to stock up on the large vari­ety pack if there's no rush. If we're in a pinch, we get the Trojan Magnum Ecstasy condoms.)

Save on Variety Packs

Prices on indi­vid­ual prod­ucts and assort­ments vary, but in gen­er­al, you can find con­doms for cheap or at a bulk dis­count online. My favorites include:

Early to Bed

This shop car­ries a range of bar­ri­ers, includ­ing con­doms, dams, gloves, and fin­ger cots.

• Trustex non-​lubricated con­doms — at about $0.45/condom, it's a great deal if you're already using lib­er­al amounts of your pre­ferred lube any­way. Just add a drop in the tip for com­fort and all over the outside.
• Variety pack — $5 for 8, about $0.63/condom

FYI, I do get a kick­back from Early to Bed for your pur­chase, so if you hap­pen to need con­doms while you're shop­ping for toys from them, I appre­ci­ate you using my links! Thank you.

Get Condoms for Free or Cheap Locally

The cam­pus health cen­ter at my alma mater sold con­doms for $0.50 each. I high­ly rec­om­mend ask­ing what's in stock if you're still in school!

Free con­doms are also avail­able in all fifty states in the USA. Check this GoodRX direc­to­ry for more info on free con­doms mailed to you or avail­able for pickup.

And again, actu­al­ly ask about or see the selec­tion avail­able! Some loca­tions have large con­doms, den­tal dams, fin­ger cots, and inter­nal ("female") con­doms, for a wide range of users. In oth­er words, don't dis­miss it just because it's free. Some of the options are real­ly nice.

More Penis Play Products

I love these thick­er for­mu­la­tions for hand­jobs and blowjobs. Remember, though: balms and oils tend to be incom­pat­i­ble with con­doms, so plan your play accordingly!

Wicked Sensual Massage Cream

This cream's con­sis­ten­cy is so dense — some­where between lotion and short­en­ing. It is the crème de la crème for a deca­dent full-​body mas­sage with a hap­py end­ing, espe­cial­ly the unscent­ed for­mu­la. If you want to turn the expe­ri­ence into a more immer­sive spa ses­sion, there are two herbal scents: orange blos­som patchouli and sage.

Bijoux Indiscrets Oral Sex Balm

It's a super thick, plant-​based lip balm for slid­ing and slight cool­ing sen­sa­tions dur­ing oral sex. I immense­ly enjoy it for fel­lat­ing, the way it bal­ances glid­ing with drag between my lips and the glans of a penis.

A lit­tle goes a long way; I've been using the same tube for seem­ing­ly for­ev­er. Its con­sis­ten­cy feels more lux­u­ri­ous than your run-​of-​the-​mill lip balm.(Aquaphor will do just fine if you don't care to splurge, though!)

Mouthwatering Spray & Mints

Lastly, if you're prone to cot­ton mouth, the tart­ness of Bijoux Indiscrets' cit­rusy Slow Sex Mouthwatering Spray and Flintts Mouthwatering Mints can quick­ly com­bat it!

CBD Carriers (Lube, Suppositories, and More!)

CBD's anti-​inflammatory effects, pain relief, and relax­ation prop­er­ties are well-​documented. It's no won­der that it's a cult crowd-​pleaser for top­i­cal use before or dur­ing sex — when stay­ing present to the sen­sa­tions is vital!

Water-​Based CBD Lube

My favorite CBD lube is GoLove. Straight up.

Why I love GoLove CBD

Not only does it con­tain 2 mg of CBD per pump, but also, unlike most oth­er CBD lubes, it's water-​based, mak­ing it com­pat­i­ble with toys and con­doms. The deli­cious­ly emul­si­fied for­mu­la is also pH-​balanced, lacks the most com­mon hyper-​osmotic lube ingre­di­ents, and is friend­lier to the vagi­nal micro­bio­me.

Use code SUPER20 for 20% off GoLove CBD lube.

Morgasm CBD Arousal Gel

Indeed, oth­er water-​based CBD lubes exist, but GoLove is my favorite. Morgasm is thick­er and will hold up bet­ter when, say, using CBD for relax­ation dur­ing fist­ing or with big toys. Its L‑arginine and men­thol also make it a fan­tas­tic exter­nal arousal gel. However, Morgasm's tingly mint extracts are intense for me internally.

Every body is dif­fer­ent, and you might like Morgasm's con­sis­ten­cy more. One deli­cious appli­ca­tion of Morgasm to inten­si­fy sex is on both sides of a con­dom for fellatio.

Use code SSC for 15% off Morgasm CBD arousal gel.

Magick Shay Glow Skin Serum

Magick Shay's CBD face serum con­tains CBD from cer­ti­fied organ­ic Vermont-​grown hemp flow­ers, along with herbal extracts like:

• Reishi mush­room — anti-​inflammatory and antioxidant
• Rose petals and rose hips — hydrat­ing, selec­tive antimi­cro­bial effects, anti-​inflammatory, and antioxidant
• Chamomile flow­ers — sooth­ing and anti-inflammatory
• Red clover flow­ers — accel­er­at­ed wound heal­ing and poten­tial­ly increased col­la­gen for anti-aging
• Marshmallow root — faster wound heal­ing, anti-​inflammatory, reduces skin irritation

What sold me on Magick Shay's Glow Serum were the reviews from long-​term users — after just one bot­tle, it wasn't uncom­mon for their skin to be clear of acne even a year lat­er. Why? One poten­tial expla­na­tion is changes in the skin flo­ra, mak­ing Glow Serum an espe­cial­ly great option for those man­ag­ing folliculitis-​based body acne.

I just call it mag­ic for how it's helped my skin chill out when sal­i­cylic acid alone wasn't quite cut­ting it and I didn't want to deal with ben­zoyl per­ox­ide bleach­ing my clothes or sheets. If you know, you know.

Oil- and Silicone-​Base CBD Lube & Beyond

The recur­ring descrip­tors I hear of Foria's CBD prod­ucts are "warmth," "relax­ation," and "like a hug." My favorite CBD prod­ucts I've been sent to test are:

Booty Melts paired with Intimacy Sex Oil made prepa­ra­tion for anal sex sub­stan­tial­ly eas­i­er. My friend said he could dis­cern the warmth spread­ing inside of him and how it took way less time to get a toy in. Once pen­e­tra­tion start­ed with a glass dil­do, he had one of the most mind-​melding, confetti-​brained orgasms of his life.

Honeypot CBD Lube has a sil­i­cone base for long-​lasting, water-​resistant mus­cle relax­ation and sen­su­al soothing.

Relief Salve paired with Wellness Tonic — when I exper­i­ment­ed with going off my anti­de­pres­sant, Foria's Wellness Tonic took the edge off (begone, cramp­ing and rumi­nant rage!), and the Relief Salve felt like a nat­ur­al, gen­tle heat­ing pad.

Menstrual Cups

Speaking of peri­ods, large men­stru­al cups are the bomb. They hold a tight seal, so there's way less leak­age than with a pad or tampon.

I have a heavy flow and high-​set cervix, mean­ing that a men­stru­al cup would ideally:

1. Capture a loooooot of fluid.
2. Be easy to reach with my itty-​bitty fin­gers, so I don't have to ask my boyfriend for help fish­ing it out for me.

There are many fac­tors in choos­ing the right men­stru­al cup for you (no, it's not about "tight­ness" or "loose­ness").

My per­son­al favorite is Fun Factory's Fun Cups in Size B. If I'm in a pinch and need some­thing long-​lasting at a store­front, Instead Softdiscs are my go-to.

Pheromone Perfumes

Pheromone per­fumes for women tend to con­tain cop­ulins, or a group of fat­ty acid chains secret­ed vagi­nal­ly with the high­est con­cen­tra­tion right before ovu­la­tion. They're spec­u­lat­ed to sig­nal impend­ing fer­til­i­ty and make straight men go fer­al — boost­ing testos­terone, increas­ing risk-​taking and atten­tion to you, and sex­u­al and roman­tic desire.

There are oth­er pheromones, which I'll dis­cuss more in anoth­er post, but syn­thet­ic cop­ulins are among the most com­mon for get­ting sexed up.

While it can be hard to pin­point whether people's flir­ta­tious advances are in response to the fra­grances, the pheromones, or just you (and your nat­ur­al pheromones) — I think peo­ple have a good sense of scents that suit their body chem­istry. We'll focus on the car­ri­er fra­grances today.

Of course, a scent's inter­ac­tion with body chem­istry is very per­son­al, so use Fragrantica to com­pare the notes to oth­er per­fumes you've tried. Bear in mind that I'm by no means a fra­grance geek; take my descrip­tions with a grain of salt.

TIP: Not sure whether pheromone per­fume is for you? Try a sam­pler kit — Eye of Love has "Attract Him" and "Attract Her" sets.

Exsens Feminine Pheromone Sprays

Exsens' body care prod­ucts and pheromone mists are on the fem­i­nine side with Under the Influence and Angel's Dream. These scents are made in south­ern France with a pro­pri­etary blend of syn­thet­ic cop­ulins — veiled under the labels, "fra­grance" and "par­fum."

As the names sug­gest, one is a bit more deca­dent, and the oth­er more airy and floral.

Under the Influence Pheromone Mist

Under the Influence is a sul­try night­time fra­grance — think of a teas­ing can­dlelit din­ner date — with:

• Top notes of black cur­rant and bergamot
• Heart notes of rose, lychee, and davana flower
• Base notes of patchouli and vanilla

Yes, it's flo­ral and fruity, but bal­anced by oth­er equal­ly impor­tant descrip­tors includ­ing warm, a tad woodsy, and min­i­mal­ly earthy, thanks to the patchouli's presence.

The fol­low­ing scents may share some similarities:

• Parfum De Lune Magique by Parfums Genty
• L'Or de Say Celebration Orsay

I've used it quite often when going out, and my bot­tle is almost emp­ty. Get Exsens' Under the Influence Pheromone body spray.

Angel's Dream Pheromone Mist

Arctic Rhodiola Rosea

Exsens also makes a more celes­tial and pow­dery day­time fra­grance they call Angel's Dream, con­tain­ing:

• Top notes of berg­amot, pineap­ple, and lily of the valley
• Heart notes of pear and plum
• Base notes of vanil­la, musk, cedar, and amber

Sweet, white flo­ral, warm, and again, pow­dery, also come to mind. I wasn't super into Angel's Dream, but both of Exsens' scents cov­er up the syn­thet­ic cop­ulin smell quite well.

Working With Copulins Yourself

I can def­i­nite­ly smell syn­thet­ic cop­ulins when they've been added to aro­mas. Hint: they smell like straight-​up ass cheese in their undi­lut­ed form, but they can (and arguably should) be mixed with fragrances.

If you want to com­bine pheromones into your per­fume, try a cop­ulin con­cen­trate — as lit­tle as one drop in a per­fume bot­tle is enough. The puta­tive female pheromone mix con­tains: propanoic, methyl­propanoic, butanoic, methylbu­tanoic, and methylpen­tanoic acids.

Don't make the same mis­take as me of using too much in some Bath and Body Works body spray when I was in school. A class­mate straight up asked, "Do you know what that smell is? Something near us smells like ass." Of course, I didn't tell her it was my failed per­fume experiment.

(I'll dis­cuss the com­pounds, dos­ing, and how to track "hits" or "suc­cess­ful" results anoth­er day.)

Eye of Love Pheromone Perfumes

Eye of Love cov­ers a dif­fer­ent range of pheromone for­mu­la­tions to "Attract Her," "Attract Him," and "Attract Them." Their pheromone mol­e­cules include estrate­traenol and androstenol and come in strik­ing glass bottles.

Feel free to stack them with cop­ulins men­tioned above — while estrate­traenol is more about the emo­tion­al draw of a woman, cop­ulins are more sensual.

My per­son­al favorite Eye of Love for­mu­las are Morning Glow, unscent­ed, and Matchmaker Red Diamond. Of course, my body chem­istry is dif­fer­ent from yours, so what works well with my sweat might not work well with yours. 🙂

Closing Thoughts

When I often write about the mechan­ics of sex toys, it's easy to asso­ciate me with max­i­mal­ism, moar, moar, moar, and more. My sex toy reviews are just one facet of my sex­u­al expe­ri­ences, though.

While toys can be involved when play­ing with a part­ner, the focus is on turn­ing the expe­ri­ence into an immer­sive rit­u­al for all the sens­es: tast­ing each other's tongues, the smells and sighs, and our hands all over each other.

It's about devot­ing time and space to our bod­ies. It's tend­ing to each other's gar­dens and reaf­firm­ing the val­ue of self-​care and part­ner care. Take care of your­selves — because you all deserve it.