Top 10 Sex Toys & Products for Partner Play

ANY SEX TOY CAN BE A COUPLE'S TOY IF YOU USE IT WITH A PARTNER.

Some toys, though, are more con­ve­nient to com­bine with par­tic­u­lar part­nered activ­i­ties than others.

These are my top picks, from a most­ly vanil­la stand­point (kinki­er toys are a top­ic I'm sav­ing for a whole oth­er post!).

A MEGA-​UPDATE, 5 YEARS LATER

I've com­piled a new list, titled "Sultry Body Care: My Favorite Lube, CBD, Pheromones, Condoms, Massage & More!" Many of the items on this list are also includ­ed in that oth­er, more com­pre­hen­sive mega-​guide to body care!

Find more love­ly lotions and potions for my gad­gets and giz­mos and beyond — from min­i­mal­ist water-​based lube to pheromone per­fumes. <3

Some of the Best Sex Toys to Use With a Partner:

1. POM by Dame Products: A Lay-​on Vibrator That's Ideal for PIV Intercourse

I love every­thing about this petite, hand­held cli­toral vibrator's shape. The Dame Pom nes­tles intu­itive­ly in my hand, flex­es to fit between bod­ies in vary­ing posi­tions, and offers options for both broad and pin­point stimulation.

All of these fea­tures, com­bined with the low-​pitched vibra­tions, make it my favorite vibe to grind up against while my partner's cock is inside me. I'm a pin­point princess, and it takes so lit­tle effort to aim the Dame Pom's "beak." Every lit­tle nudge from my part­ner dri­ves me wild.

And because it's all hand­held and exter­nal, it doesn't come with the fit issues inher­ent to vibrat­ing cock rings. No wor­ries about the ring not fit­ting the cock, or the vibe not align­ing with someone's clit-​vag gap or being at a weird angle that doesn't intu­itive­ly con­tact the cli­toris. Just straight­for­ward sexy solo ses­sions and part­ner playtime.

Read my full review of the Pom by Dame Products. Or get it from Spectrum Boutique for 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASH10

FRESHER, FURTHER READING:

• Fun Factory Laya III Review — anoth­er, rum­bli­er, more pow­er­ful con­toured lay-​on vibe great for inter­course and cou­ples' play

2. Neon Wand + Power Tripper: Turn Me on With Your Electric Feel

Feel the spark. Literally. The Neon Wand and Power Tripper attach­ment prac­ti­cal­ly turn my whole body into an elec­trode; every time I get (or a met­al object I'm hold­ing gets) super close to some­one, elec­tric­i­ty arcs. It can be won­der­ful­ly sub­tle if I use the pads of my fin­gers or intense and tattoo-​like with, say, the prongs of a fork or a Wartenberg wheel. Or elec­tri­fy the tip of your tongue for oral sex.

You could also play with the chaos of a metal­lic pom-​pom. There's no pre­dict­ing which strand will shock the receiv­er first. And some totally-​not-​sexual things to do with it include tak­ing a Pikachu cos­tume to the next lev­el. Or play­ing Red Rover. Yes, if you're wear­ing the Power Tripper and hold­ing someone's hand, they can then shock oth­er peo­ple too!

Get it from SheVibe — Neon Wand and Power Tripper sold separately.

2020 UPDATE: Want to know more about how vio­let rays and neon wands feel? Check out my Zeus Twilight Violet Wand review. It uses the same mech­a­nism as the Neon Wand.

3. Zumio: A Pinpoint, Oscillating Vibrator to Combine With Cunnilingus

One of my favorite ways to use the Zumio oscil­lat­ing clit vibe is to pair it with a partner's tongue. Again, I love tar­get­ed and pin­point stim­u­la­tion, and the Zumio is about as pin­point as it gets. The perk to using its tiny tip on my clit is that there's still plen­ty of real estate left on my clit for oth­er meth­ods of stimulation.

Just be fore­warned that the Zumio is over­whelm­ing­ly intense and not for the faint of the cli­toris (or frenu­lum). Of the eight set­tings, I've nev­er made it past the 5th, despite my usu­al stub­born­ness about try­ing more and more extreme toys. I can't imag­ine turn­ing it up to the 6th speed on myself and not coming.

The Zumio is the clos­est thing to an "instant orgasm" but­ton I've ever tried, and thank good­ness it has a "decrease speed" but­ton to turn it down right after I come! You can also use the stem instead of the tip if you want less tar­get­ed stim­u­la­tion at times.

If the Zumio is right for you, you prob­a­bly already know it. When rub­bing your cli­toris, do you enjoy using a fin­ger­nail for a sharp­er sen­sa­tion? Do you like teeth light­ly graz­ing dur­ing cun­nilin­gus? If so, this oscil­lat­ing vibra­tor is a per­fect fit. Read my full review of the Zumio X here or get it from Peepshow Toys for 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE

Further, fresher reading:

• Zumio I Review + Comparison: Zumio X vs. S. vs. E. vs. I Oscillators

4. Magic Wand Plus or Rechargeable: A Rumbly Vibrator to Hold Against One's Cheek While Giving Blowjobs

On the oppo­site end of the size spec­trum is the jug­ger­naut for­mer­ly known as the Hitachi Magic Wand. With a big­ger motor and far more sur­face area than the Zumio, the upgrad­ed Magic Wand Plus is among my top picks for using on penises.

Yes, vibra­tors aren't just for girls! Some peo­ple think of a cli­toris as a tiny penis, yeah? On the flip side, you could think of a penis as a big cli­toris, also recep­tive to vibra­tions. I still love my pin­point Eroscillator for using direct­ly on a partner's frenu­lum, and my ex enjoyed his Hot Octopuss Pulse III for solo play. But the Magic Wand Plus and Doxy Die Cast are more prac­ti­cal for adding broad­ly dis­trib­uted vibra­tions dur­ing a blowjob.

The Magic Wand Original is a rad toy for the price. But while I revere its sta­tus as a piece of his­to­ry (seri­ous­ly, it's been around since 1968!), I don't entire­ly love the orig­i­nal. The new­er ver­sions, how­ev­er, come with the fol­low­ing upgrades:

• qui­eter
• rum­bli­er— lower-​pitch and high­er ampli­tude /​ big­ger range of motion
• non-​porous sil­i­cone head
• come with four speeds instead of 2 (two more set­tings on the low­er end)

…and now I'd rec­om­mend the Magic Wand Plus to just about any­one. Think of the Magic Wand Plus as feel­ing like the Rechargeable (almost basslike on the low­est speed), but cord­ed and with a price clos­er to the Magic Wand Original's.If you can't wait to try it, take 10% off the Magic Wand Plus (or any­thing else) at Peepshow Toys with code SUPERSMASHCACHE

FRESHER FURTHER READING:

• 3 Rumbly Blowjob Vibrators For Fantastic Fellatio: Manta, Vim & Bond
• Magic Wand OG vs. Rechargeable vs. Plus vs. Mini Review & Comparison
• Magic Wand Micro Review: Pocket-​Sized Power or Hype?

5. Njoy Eleven: Girthy, G‑Spotty, and A‑Spotty Stainless Steel for Deep Penetration

I wrote to anoth­er blog­ger, "Lana Del Rey must have thought about the njoy Eleven when she sang, 'I'm cry­ing while I'm com­ing.'" It's the toy I whip out when I intro­duce a part­ner to my toy col­lec­tion and want to push them into the deep end of the pool right away.

Three pounds of med­ical grade stain­less steel com­prise this mon­stros­i­ty. An arm work­out? Sure, but worth it every time. It's almost like this dil­do was made just for me with its S‑curve. While the njoy Pure Wand has a steep C‑curve for shal­low and direct G‑spotting, the Eleven is an engi­neered instru­ment for deep pen­e­tra­tion and mas­sag­ing my cervix or A‑spot.

Though it's not as direct as the Pure Wand, the big­ger end of the Eleven is amaz­ing for G‑spotting, too! I'm some­one who loves fist­ing and huge sex toys, so the njoy Eleven's 2" diam­e­ter and bul­bous shape, cast in steel, are plen­ty to sat­is­fy me.

It's exact­ly the kind of inten­si­ty that would make me cry because it's so fuck­ing cathar­tic. With a lit­tle for­ward tilt of the njoy Eleven, it's pret­ty fool­proof for a hum­ble ser­vant to please this pressure-​loving size queen.

FRESHER, FURTHER READING:

• 8 Best Stainless Steel Dildos, Ranked (njoy, L'Acier, Le Wand)

6. Womanizer Liberty: Quick, Over-​The-​Top Orgasms in a Small Package

A part­ner doesn't know me until he's looked into my eyes while fuck­ing me, while I hold an air pres­sure stim­u­la­tor against my cli­toris and scream, "GIVE ME THAT COME."

It's so inescapably intense. It makes me vio­lent­ly com­mand dirt­i­er things the longer I use it with a part­ner. If I could form more com­plex sen­tences through the orgasms, they'd prob­a­bly be more like, "Give me your come now or I'll fuck­ing kill you."

It's not just that the Womanizers (both the Womanizer Classic and the travel-​sized Womanizer Liberty) are intense— they're the rawest mind­fuck I could get from cli­toral stim­u­la­tion alone. And con­sid­er­ing how vital deep pen­e­tra­tion is to me, that's say­ing something.

Both are awe­some, but the Liberty is far more dis­creet than the Classic. If you loathe the Womanizer's name, you could get a Satisfyer instead. Just be aware that the Satisfyers are more cheap­ly made and won't last as long, but the sen­sa­tion is still impres­sive if you're try­ing some­thing new. (And please, for the love of all that is holy, please don't get the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples.)

Both brands are avail­able at Peepshow Toys and, as always, you can take 10% off with coupon code SUPERSMASHCACHE

FRESHER, FURTHER READING:

• 20+ Best Clit-​Sucking, Air Pulse, Pressure Wave Vibrators, Compared!
  • The mega-​guide includes the best air pulse mas­sagers for cou­ples' play 🙂

And How Could I Forget Non-toy Accessories Like Condoms and Lube?

7. Hathor/​Sutil: Amazing Flavored Lubes

SUTIL Flavours starts with Hathor/SUTIL's leg­endary plant-​based Luxe for­mu­la. It's super skin-​friendly with no yucky stuff (like glyc­erin, parabens, propy­lene gly­col, etc.) and cer­tain­ly no sug­ar in its fla­vor­ing. Every ingre­di­ent is respon­si­bly sourced. The propanediol-​based for­mu­la also coun­ter­acts some of the bit­ter­ness typ­i­cal of fla­vor carriers.

My favorites are the mint (which pleas­ant­ly, slight­ly tin­gles) and coconut fla­vors. Read my full review of Hathor/​SUTIL Flavours here.

FRESHER, FURTHER READING:

• Sultry Body Care: My Favorite Lube, CBD, Pheromones, Condoms, Massage & More!
• 5 Ways to Intensify Sex With CBD Arousal Lube

8. Sliquid Swirl Cherry Vanilla: The Best Cherry-​Flavored Lube

The only fla­vor I didn't like from Hathor/​SUTIL was the cher­ry because it was bit­ter and remind­ed me too much of cough med­i­cine. For that rea­son, I want to give a shout-​out to Sliquid for their Cherry Vanilla Sliquid Swirl fla­vor. It's prob­a­bly the best cherry-​flavored lube I've ever tried.

Like Hathor/​SUTIL, Sliquid is pH-​balanced, plant-​based, and free of com­mon irri­tants. The most notable dif­fer­ence is that Sliquid owes its slip­per­i­ness to cotton-​based cel­lu­lose instead of propane­di­ol. Take 10% off the Cherry Vanilla fla­vored Sliquid Swirl at Peepshow Toys with code SUPERSMASHCACHE

9. Love Begins With L. Large Condoms

Love begins with L. offers the best large con­doms, accord­ing to my past well-​endowed part­ners. And the folks over at Vibrant have heard such com­ments, as well! Yes, a well-​hung guy can put "regular"-sized con­doms on, but that doesn't mean it's com­fort­able. Add a few (just a few!) drops of lube inside the tip of the con­dom to make it feel even better.

UPDATE: These con­doms have been dis­con­tin­ued. These days, I most­ly buy bulk vari­ety packs of large con­doms and some­times Trojan Magnum Ecstasy con­doms if I'm in a big chain store.

10. Menstrual Cups or Discs + Black Towels: Mess-​Free Cunnilingus on My Period

For me, peri­od sex is a fact of life, and frankly, if a part­ner had an issue with it, I'd prob­a­bly stop talk­ing to them. The day before my peri­od and the first day is when I'm so horny that I'm con­fi­dent my cause of death will be spon­ta­neous human combustion.

Lay out a black tow­el or Liberator Throe. Insert a tam­pon or men­stru­al cup to col­lect blood if you're receiv­ing oral. Maybe have your part­ner use a den­tal dam. Shower after­ward. Boom, done.

Menstrual cups vary in shape, so don't be deterred if the Diva Cup, the most well-​known, doesn't fit you. Read Lorax of Sex's mega men­stru­al cup com­par­i­son or get the Fun Factory Explore men­stru­al cup set.

It comes with two sizes so you can try both and see which one works bet­ter for you. Or maybe you'll find that you like both but on dif­fer­ent days of your peri­od. Personally, I love the large size due to my heavy flow. See my list of fac­tors to con­sid­er when get­ting a men­stru­al cup.

Wrapping It Up

Hands, tongues, gen­i­tals, and human con­nec­tion are all awe­some aspects of part­ner play. Sex toys syn­er­gize to make an even more mind-​melding experience.

Some go well with inter­course, oth­ers are eas­i­er to pair with oral, and some are amaz­ing all on their own. The ven­tures are what you make of them.