Review: Strap-On-Me Large silicone ejaculating dildo

I can't wait to get double-​stuffed once the COVID-​19 pan­dem­ic is under con­trol. In the mean­time, I can use an ejac­u­lat­ing dil­do with my boyfriend. Romantic, right?

The Strap-​On-​Me squirt­ing dil­do's syringe bar­rel holds 30 cc of flu­id — about two cum shots' worth. Fill it up with your favorite white lube and push the pis­ton at the mag­i­cal moment.

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Why use a silicone squirting dildo?

Here are just a few reasons to try an ejaculating dildo:

• Imitating the feel­ing of a sexy simul­ta­ne­ous orgasm
• Immersion in dou­ble pen­e­tra­tion play
• Adding eroti­cism and fun when con­ceiv­ing via arti­fi­cial insemination
• Because they like how it feels and looks but don't want to risk pregnancy
• They like how it feels and looks, peri­od — this dil­do is safe for anal use, too!

Personally, I find hot the idea of dou­ble vagi­nal pen­e­tra­tion, eject­ing the fake cum, and then squat­ting over a mir­ror for an even bet­ter view watch­ing it drip out.

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Key features of the Strap-On-Me Large silicone ejaculating dildo

This loooong and lean dildo's min­i­mal­is­tic con­tours include:

• A gen­tly pro­trud­ing corona
• Barely-​there cur­va­ture in the flex­i­ble shaft
• Silky-​smooth mat­te silicone
• A heart-​shaped base with three slots to chan­nel the cum tubing

Overall, the Strap-​On-​Me ejac­u­lat­ing dildo's shape is high­ly deriv­a­tive of the Fun Factory Magnum and Amor.

I'm not sur­prised at the resem­blance. Fun Factory for­mer­ly made the POP Semenette ejac­u­lat­ing sil­i­cone dil­do from their Boss mold. It was slow­ly phased out and dis­con­tin­ued a few years ago, leav­ing an under-​fulfilled niche in the sex toy mar­ket. Strap-​On-​Me swooped in and made a slight­ly easier-​to-​use ver­sion — min­i­mal assem­bly required.

Strap-​On-​Me vs. other ejaculating dildos

Every part of it is sil­i­cone except for the remov­able plas­tic syringe bar­rel and pis­ton. The body-​safe mate­r­i­al choice is a bii­i­i­i­ig deal in set­ting the Strap-​On-​Me apart from oth­er ejac­u­lat­ing dildos.

Realistic squirt­ing dil­dos are usu­al­ly made of porous TPE, TPR, or (tox­ic, chemical-​leeching) jel­ly, all of which can host germs with­in the mate­r­i­al. However, the Strap-​On-​Me sil­i­cone squirt­ing dil­dos and tub­ing are prac­ti­cal­ly non­porous and can eas­i­ly be boiled or san­i­tized in the dishwasher.

Also, the Strap-​On-​Me ejac­u­lat­ing dil­do is only semi-​representational. Not every­one wants a "real­is­tic" dil­do with gar­gan­tu­an, bulging veins like the Evolved Novelties Big Shot. One down­side, though, is that the Strap-​On-​Me only comes in "vanil­la" and black. Those who want a dark skin tone may want to con­sid­er Betty's Blaster.

I hope that rep­re­sen­ta­tion­al dil­dos can be more diverse soon. Indie com­pa­nies like Uberrime and New York Toy Collective are great with their skin tone vari­ety, and I'd like for big­ger man­u­fac­tur­ers to catch up.

"Large" Strap-​On-​Me dildo measurements

The wide syringe bar­rel makes fake cum nice and easy to pour lube into! 30cc con­verts to a lit­tle over an ounce or two table­spoons or two cum shots.

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Positioning and setup

Since the tub­ing is pli­able sil­i­cone, I rec­om­mend trim­ming it with scis­sors or a knife.

If you're har­ness­ing this dil­do, the long-​ass tube can be cum­ber­some. Keep it just long enough to tuck the syringe some­where secure, like in under­wear. Or loop and secure it with a zip tie.

The eas­i­est way for me to deal with the tub­ing dur­ing solo use is to anchor it under my leg in bed. Your mileage may vary.

Also, HOLY heck, I was not expect­ing the hybrid lube that I used to be THAT hard to push out. If your fake semen of choice is on the gel-​like side, you may want to water it down a little.

The mix­ture can still be cloudy and vis­cous, but it should ide­al­ly be able to drip eas­i­ly, too. In any case, don't expect a spec­tac­u­lar FOUNTAIN of jizz — unless you're push­ing real­ly hard and record­ing in slow mo.

(More on body-​safe and vagina-​friendly fake cum later.)

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How it feels in use

I appre­ci­ate that I can use the Strap-​On-​Me Large's gra­tu­itous shaft as a han­dle for aim­ing against my G‑spot. Sensation-​wise, I find that it's best for shal­low pen­e­tra­tion with steep tilt­ing while clenching.

It's too bendy to do much for my deep eroge­nous zones dur­ing most days of my cycle. Only near the days lead­ing up to my peri­od that is cervix mas­sage with this dil­do intense enough.

Let's be real, though: solo play isn't my main objec­tive; it's more about the IDEA of some­one com­ing inside me.

I want my vagi­na to be double-​stuffed and stretched and drip­ping with "cum" — and the Strap-​On-​Me ejac­u­lat­ing dil­do gets the job done dur­ing part­ner play. During dou­ble pen­e­tra­tion, it's com­fort­ably soft and smooth while still stretch­es plen­ty for intense orgasms.

I can't feel the indi­vid­ual splash­es of "cum" with high res­o­lu­tion, though. For me, it's more like inter­nal pres­sure and expan­sion from the flu­id, com­pound­ing with the thrust­ing and intense stretch­ing. Not to men­tion being filled up with lube is a great warm-​up for even big­ger inser­tions and fist­ing. 🙂

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Vagina-friendly fake cum: what to use

If it's semen simulation you seek, you've probably encountered some sketchy-​ass recipes for homemade cum.

One of the search results advised mix­ing water and with corn starch. My vagi­na clamped shut in hor­ror; I don't want any­thing sug­ary or starchy near my vul­va, lest it feeds the pathogens uncon­trolled. No chick­en egg whites nor yogurt, nor sour cream in my vagi­na, please.

Dr. Jen Gunter, the writer of the Vagina Bible, would be appalled and start a new Twitter roast­ing campaign.

What to look for (and what to avoid) when when buying white cum lube

Many per­son­al lubri­cants are made to sim­u­late ejac­u­late, and unfor­tu­nate­ly, quite a few have ques­tion­able com­po­nents. Personally, I can't rec­om­mend lubes with glyc­erin, propy­lene gly­col, or parabens for vagi­nal use — those are among the most com­mon irri­tat­ing ingre­di­ents in per­son­al lubricants.

Cheaper lubes tend to have high­er con­cen­tra­tions of petrochemical- or animal-​based glyc­erol that can suck out water from the vagi­nal lining.

One of the vagina-​friendly cum lubes I do rec­om­mend is Sliquid Silk, a hybrid lube with very few ingre­di­ents. Sensuva Erosense Hybrid (shown below) is anoth­er good choice. It does, how­ev­er, include more ingre­di­ents, such as:

• Isopropyl palmi­tate, an emol­lient (mois­tur­iz­ing agent) derived from coconut oil
• Sorbitan mono­stearate, an emul­si­fi­er to pre­vent ingre­di­ent separation.

There's noth­ing sug­gest­ing that vagi­nal yeast or pathogens could use either one of them as a food source, though. And both of these hybrids are free of the most egre­gious lube ingre­di­ents.

Again, though, I high­ly rec­om­mend water­ing down hybrid lubes for ease of ejection.

I also can't speak to how well they'll work for every body, since they do con­tain potas­si­um sor­bate or sodi­um ben­zoate as preser­v­a­tives. Many water-​based lubri­cants do, includ­ing sex blog­gers' favorite non-​hybrid (clear) lubes.

If you're sen­si­tive to those par­tic­u­lar preser­v­a­tives or just want a plant-​based lube that doesn't con­tain them, try Slippery Stuff or Blossom Organics. They come out clear, though.

And, of course, don't use oil or pure sil­i­cone lubes with sil­i­cone ejac­u­lat­ing dil­dos — they're hel­la dif­fi­cult to clean out.

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Strap-On-Me ejaculating dildo in slow motion

This video is, of course, with the lube watered down. 🙂

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Cleaning the Strap-On-Me squirting dildo

My biggest con­cern at first was poten­tial­ly yucky stuff get­ting inside the "ure­thra." To get in there, you may want to find a nar­row, pipe cleaner-​style straw brush. A long-​handled cot­ton swab could work too.

Otherwise, soap-​and-​water for every­day clean­ing suf­fices, with occa­sion­al boil­ing or dish­wash­er dis­in­fect­ing. Fill the syringe with soapy water, push the pis­ton, rinse, and repeat.

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Closing thoughts on the Strap-On-Me silicone ejaculating dildo

Double pen­e­tra­tion with two dark-​haired guys who adore me is my cur­rent biggest fantasy.

I'm just as horny as any­one else dur­ing this pan­dem­ic, but seek­ing out poten­tial new play part­ners would be irre­spon­si­ble. What's a horny hea­then to do?

One way to incor­po­rate that fan­ta­sy safe­ly is to ride my boyfriend's dick and a dil­do — and an ejac­u­lat­ing one like the Strap-​On-​Me takes it to the next level.

What's more, this squirt­ing dildo's size­able reser­voir can fit two ejac­u­lates' worth of flu­id, dou­bling the fun while tripling the cum. What's not to love about that?

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