This imposing monstrosity is ready to raid your cave.

Thexomite's "small" size, stand­ing 7.5" tall and 2.25" wide, is amply armored for appeas­ing the oth­er­wise insa­tiable. Its stacked plates are only for the most dar­ing cave spe­lunk­ers, eager to have their insides beat the fuck up.

[Its] gasp-​inducing pro­file fea­tures a firm, for­mi­da­ble curve; a defined edge around the coro­na; and absolute over­load for the walls.

Could I han­dle the "medi­um" option after all the cocks and hands that have been inside me? Maybe if it was squishi­er or had a tapered tip.

But sub­tle­ty isn't what KinkyPop Toys tries to do with their dil­dos — at least, it's not their main thing.

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About KinkyPop Toys

KinkyPop Toys is a US-​based, husband-​and-​wife duo intent on get­ting their users to gush — lit­er­al­ly. The mak­ers set out to sculpt sen­sa­tions they wished exist­ed. Their top pri­or­i­ty? Girthy, squirt-​usurping penetration.

Their Thexomite ridges con­jure imagery of a space rep­til­ian — stand­ing along­side the Galactic Raider dil­do and its heavy veins, rib­bing, and knobbed shaft. And KinkyPop's Innocence ranges in size from human to fuck­ing behe­moth, "leav­ing the user with noth­ing more to ask of it."

(The pho­to of the Extra Large next to a soda can might make passers­by look­ing over your shoul­ders blush.)

This penetration-​first, clit-​second shop also makes exter­nal grind­ing toys in cushy Shore 0020–31 sil­i­cone. Think of them as a lux­u­ri­ous leap from hump­ing your pillow.

While the toys are extra as fuck, KinkyPop's pack­ages of pack­ages are sim­ple: a black box with a pink satin rib­bon and a stor­age pouch.

KinkyPop Thexomite Features

The KinkyPop Thexomite dildo's gasp-​inducing pro­file fea­tures a firm, for­mi­da­ble curve, a defined edge around the coro­na, and absolute over­load for the walls.

We're talk­ing about zigzag­ging piz­zazz all along the front and a stacked spinal col­umn along the back.

"Bound togeth­er by large binder rings along the bot­tom ridge," declares Thexomite's prod­uct page. "The com­bi­na­tion increas­es vibra­tion dur­ing rapid play."

How Does Thexomite Feel in Use?

The rhyth­mi­cal­ly repeat­ed rib­bing and ravines rapid­ly push and pull against my pussy with every thrust. Clench, relax, clench, relax. Every indi­vid­ual bump makes itself known; you can't ignore the hard Shore 15A sil­i­cone. For those famil­iar with Tantus's orig­i­nal firm for­mu­la, it's like that.

At the Thexomite's girth, there's very lit­tle give. You can only slight­ly bend it.

Pair that with the flat­tened dome head for a big and blunt inser­tion. My past (pre-fist­ing) self would have had a hard time with it ini­tial­ly. To min­i­mize drag against the ure­thra (ow), I angled the tip against my back wall, almost like I was push­ing my walls apart to stretch slight­ly wider than the toy's tip, prepar­ing myself for more.

Once it's in, I can tilt the tip for­ward to savor the shaft's rip­ples on the front wall. At first, its head is more A‑spotty than any­thing else; it's too blunt to slide behind my cervix.

It takes the slight­est twist to focus the flared coro­na on my G‑spot since the head is sharp­er on the sides.

Getting it an angle pulls that edge against where the pubic bone dips. If you're a squirter, it's Spurt City. I'm not (at least not usu­al­ly), but hav­ing orgasms from mere mil­lime­ters of move­ment is pret­ty dang good.

Though Thexomite won't find the hot spot for you, it's effec­tive if you're already inti­mate­ly close to your G‑spot and love girth. Across the cave, there's per­ineal sponge stim­u­la­tion on the back wall, too. It's a bit of every­thing for the shallow-​to-​mid-​depth diver.

Closing Thoughts on KinkyPop's Thexomite

Thexomite brings a big bang and breath­tak­ing inten­si­ty for the already-​initiated. Even the small­est size option was a slight chal­lenge for me, but once I locked it in, my G‑spot, A‑spot, and per­ineal sponge were rock­et­ed into an out-​of-​this-​world adventure.

Are you wear­ing space pants, baby?

Take your plea­sure to the next galaxy and get ready for a cave raid.

Get the Thexomite by KinkyPop Toys.

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FURTHER READING FROM THE VAULT:

• Tantus Steam Hunk dil­do review
• Reviews of toys from inde­pen­dent makers
• Guide to huge sex toys & fisting
• Reviews of fat sex toys

This post was spon­sored! The writ­ing and opin­ions expressed here are my own.

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