Review: Uberrime Anurian dildo bigger than soda can + Oxballs Honcho

I feel like a fuck­ing ath­lete after using a dil­do thick­er than a soda can from a cold start.

The Uberrime Anurian looks flashy AF next to bev­er­age con­tain­ers in pho­tos, but its Amazon for­est aes­thet­ic is at least as show­stop­ping as its size. “Ooh” and “AAAAA” at the trop­i­cal frog-​inspired con­tours and col­or schemes — and how they dwarf my hand and wrist.

If that wasn’t enough, I next stuffed myself with the Oxballs Honcho plug in sizes 2 and 3. The lat­ter is even girthi­er than the Anurian, fill­ing my front hole with mal­leable mag­ic. Clench, come, clench, come, repeat.

While both the Uberrime Anurian dil­do and Oxballs Honcho fea­ture phal­lic heads, their sub­stan­tial sizes make them far from real­is­tic — they’re fan­tas­tic phal­lus­es and noth­ing less.

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Uberrime Anurian review - huge amphibian-themed dildo

THICC doesn't even begin to describe it. The Uberrime Anurian is VOLUPTUOUS.

I get cot­tagecore vibes from its apose­mat­ic and amphibi­ous nature. As its name sug­gests, the Uberrime Anurian resem­bles a hybrid between a human phal­lus and a myth­i­cal frog (order: Anura), strad­dling the over­lap of land and water. Enjoy it alone or as a warmup for fist­ing.

This styl­ized sculpt features:

• A bii­i­i­ig stretch with a 2.7” max­i­mum diam­e­ter and 8” of length (6.5” insertable)
• Two tapered, styl­ized lobes atop the bul­bous head
• Curved ridges radi­at­ing from the frenu­lum down the shaft
• Slimming down near the bot­tom, then flar­ing back out at the base, like an extreme vagi­nal plug 
  • The neck mea­sures about 1.8” at the nar­row­est diameter
• A cli­toral hood-​like “ori­en­ta­tion knob” so you know which way the insert­ed por­tion is facing

It’s some­what squishy at Shore 0050 sil­i­cone den­si­ty — cer­tain­ly soft­er than the similarly-​sized Tantus Bishop and Fist Trainer. Yet, the Uberrime Anurian is still intim­i­dat­ing. “It looks like it’s going to kill me, and I’ll thank it,” a friend com­ment­ed when I showed him. Given the gar­gan­tu­an girth, it takes a lot of force to get the Anurian to fit inside me; I pre­fer to sit on it and let my weight do the work.

Anurian measurements

• Total length — 8”
• Insertable length — 6.5”
• Maximum head diam­e­ter — 2.7”
• Base neck diam­e­ter — 1.8”
• Base diam­e­ter — 3.18”

How the Anurian felt in use

I insert the head at first and hov­er there for a while to warm up. It’s easy to get the some­what pointy tip in before the size swells like a ski slope on one side. If you’re using it vagi­nal­ly, I sug­gest guid­ing and angling it toward the back wall first so there’s less pres­sure on the ure­thra. As well, the dildo’s pro­trud­ing hole is super pro­nounced, so con­sid­er turn­ing that side to less-​sensitive the back wall.

Once I could get the Uberrime Anurian dil­do tip in, the short, sharp breaths com­menced. It was over­whelm­ing at first; I remind­ed myself to breathe more slow­ly to pro­long the orgasm, as if that would mat­ter that much. I’d cum again in a few sec­onds, anyway.

The coro­na stark­ly con­trasts with the notch/​sulcus under it — 2.7” diam­e­ter vs. 2.4”, respec­tive­ly. This head shape gives a sat­is­fy­ing “pop” at the bot­tom­most (read: tight­est) third of my vagi­na. Using the Uberrime Anurian isn’t quite AAAAAAAA like with the Je Joue G‑Kii, but more like a full-​bodied fuu­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­u­uck­kkkk or aaaaaAaaAaaahhhhh. I’d rather go in deep­er with it.

Getting it all the way inside vaginally

My vagi­na con­sumed the entire length, and because of the ski-​slope tip, it slid behind my cervix eas­i­ly. I sat down on it, con­sum­ing the 6.5” insertable por­tion while the tight­est part of my vagi­nal open­ing wrapped around the thin­ner shaft.

 To adjust the depth, I did the following:

• Started by squat­ting on it, bal­anced on the balls of my feet
• Set my feet flat down
• Switched to get­ting on my knees

THEN start­ed the slow, starry-​eyed gasp­ing. Every nudge made me cum hard­er. Riding it with quick, short strokes. I’ve nev­er thought, “Ooh na na, what’s my name?” after an orgasm, main­ly because the post-​fuck come-​down nev­er neces­si­tat­ed names. But I did pon­der in a daze, “Fuck, can I turn the com­bi­na­tion lock to my return to my review queue vault (i.e., bed­room) right now?

There are some minor quirks. For one, the rel­a­tive­ly thin “neck” buck­les under pres­sure while I’m sit­ting on it; I have to use my hand to sta­bi­lize it at first. And once I could ride the Anurian, I kind of wished it would have a suc­tion cup base so that I wouldn’t lift it with every “out” stroke. In the mean­time, one of the fol­low­ing will have to do:

• Pairing it with a double-​sided suc­tion cup
• Manually hold­ing it down as I ride

The Uberrime Anurian is too big and bulky to put in a cushion-​style toy mount, which, admit­ted­ly, is a good “prob­lem” to have. This huge dil­do is all the bet­ter to put on a mir­ror while hov­er­ing over it. Even I won­der at my reflec­tion, “How does she fit that inside her? Fuck if I know, but she looks hot doing it and cum­ming that hard.”

Uberrime Anurian dildo pros and cons

I rec­om­mend the Uberrime Anurian to any size roy­al­ty that loves length and strate­gi­cal­ly (but lib­er­al­ly) placed girth. It’s not here for raw, brute-​force, womb blud­geon­ing; it was cre­at­ed to con­form to the vagi­nal walls and is worth every inch. As is the case with all of Uberrime's hand­made plat­inum sil­i­cone dildos.

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Oxballs Honcho review - huge phallic pussy plug

I have anoth­er treat for those who want to wear their huge inserta­bles: the Oxballs Honcho, AKA “Chode Plug.” It’s far from my first time with a huge butt plug insert­ed in my vagi­na.

What’s more, right after the Uberrime Anurian, the Honcho size 2 (4” insertable by 2.3” max­i­mum diam­e­ter) was a rel­a­tive­ly easy-​breezy inser­tion. I prob­a­bly should have used the Honcho and then the Anurian, but you live and learn. These plugs make a great warm-​up for even big­ger insertions.

What makes the Oxballs Honcho unique?

Unlike the bean-​shaped Oxballs Ergo, the Honcho is meant to be semi-​representational in shape. It’s a round, bul­bous plug with an oval-​shaped base and cinched neck. There’s a phal­lic coro­nal ridge, a ure­thra, and veins, but I don’t have to explain why this plug is far from real­is­tic, yeah? Imagine a water bal­loon that starts penis-​shaped but gets over­filled. That’s what the Oxballs Honcho plug’s round­ness reminds me of.

The Honcho mod­els I got are suu­u­u­u­u­per soft, with flat pur­ple and glit­tery plum pig­ment. It’s so squishy that it doesn’t even reg­is­ter on my Shore A durom­e­ter. Like, “be care­ful with long nails” lev­el soft­ness. Hypothetically, the base (3” long by 2” wide) flex­es quite com­fort­ably between the cheeks, but that’s not how I wore it. The Oxballs Honcho super soft is “super easy to push out of my vagi­na” lev­el softness.

Honcho squishy plug measurements

How it felt to use the size 2

It smooshed right inside me with a sat­is­fy­ing pop since there was such a con­trast between the head and neck. I came quick­ly once it was in, start­ing a feed­back loop where, with every orgasm, my vagi­na would reflex­ive­ly push it out, and my hand would push it back in, and the bulging girth against my inter­nal cli­toris would make me cum, and my vagi­na would push it out, and so on.

How it felt to use the size 3

The Oxballs Honcho size 2 doesn’t reach my cervix, but the Size 3 does. Its girth took some more effort. I sat on it ini­tial­ly, with my hand sta­bi­liz­ing the neck. Rather than thrust­ing and bulging against my G‑spot, it locked in place, usu­al­ly stay­ing steady even when I came. Which I did, again, near­ly non-stop.

There was cen­tered ten­sion against my cervix, blur­ring the line between plea­sure and pain — maybe a 70%-30% break­down, respec­tive­ly. The sil­i­cone is soooooo soft that each clench pulled the Honcho in and elon­gat­ed it slight­ly, press­ing hard­er against the ceiling.

It’s like some­one knock­ing on your door, mak­ing emp­ty threats to break into your house. I came by squeez­ing it vagi­nal­ly alone, but rub­bing my clit made it even more intoxicating.

Take your time with it to get it in, and savor this veiny dick once it’s already in its hap­py place.