Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Review: Wearable Suction Vibrator for Intercourse

I refuse to believe that the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples could be any­thing but an after­thought. It's as if the folks over at Satisfyer HQ made the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration and the G‑Spot Rabbit, then scram­bled when they real­ized that they failed to bud­get decent­ly for a third toy design.

If any­thing, I'm almost resent­ful that I took decent pic­tures of the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples before my boyfriend and I tried it.

Okay, so What Even Is This?

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples is a vibra­tor designed for cis, het­ero­sex­u­al cou­ples who want to add "hands-​free" cli­toral stim­u­la­tion dur­ing vagi­nal intercourse.

It's sup­posed to work by hav­ing one vibrat­ing end inside the vagi­na, while the oth­er forms a seal around the cli­toris and simul­ta­ne­ous­ly applies touch-​free pres­sure. Basically, the out­er part rapid­ly alter­nates between light­ly suck­ing and blow­ing air.

It's not sur­pris­ing that Satisfyer would want to make a wear­able, PIV (penis-in-vag)-friendly, clit-​sucking vibra­tor. They've made rip-​offs of Womanizer's orig­i­nal pres­sure wave stim­u­la­tor (now dis­con­tin­ued), so it's not sur­pris­ing that they'd come for the We-​Vibe (made by the par­tic­u­lar­ly liti­gious com­pa­ny, Standard Innovations) as well. With the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, they cap­i­tal­ized on a quarter-​assed com­bi­na­tion of those two patents.

4 Reasons Why I Question the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples' Sheer Existence

Any sin­gle one of the design flaws alone would have been a deal­break­er for me:

1. The vibra­tions
2. The but­ton size and placement
3. The rigid suc­tion nozzle
4. The shape of the inter­nal arm

Keep in mind that when it comes to vagi­nal inter­course, I'm very much "go hard or go home"; more often than not, I need deep pen­e­tra­tion to enjoy PIV. This pref­er­ence affects how I used this toy.

1. The Vibrations

The inter­nal arm's vibra­tions, on the low­est speed, legit­i­mate­ly sound like they could be com­ing from a buzzing cell phone. On the high­est speed, it's like a mos­qui­to flew into my ear. It's just so piti­ful that I almost want to laugh at the absurdity.

It's not the buzzi­est vibra­tor I've ever tried. That's a high bar to set, I know. While a cheap, shit­ty bul­let is just dis­ap­point­ing, it's hard­ly extra­or­di­nary. I'd rather spend my ener­gy steer­ing read­ers toward bet­ter clit vibes. This Satisfyer mod­el, though, dis­gusts me in so many oth­er ways that I find the oth­er­wise mediocre vibra­tions expo­nen­tial­ly offensive.

2. The Button Placement

Click, click, click, click, click. My boyfriend's pubic bone pressed the but­tons with every thrust. With the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples insert­ed dur­ing mis­sion­ary and cow­girl, it's impos­si­ble for us to keep the pres­sure wave motor run­ning at a con­sis­tent setting.

The prob­lem lies in the but­tons' place­ment and their bulk. The con­trol pan­el rests on a con­vex sur­face between two pubic bones bash­ing togeth­er. If Satisfyer didn't have the bud­get to design small­er, recessed but­tons, they could have placed the con­trol pan­el on the oth­er end of the cli­toral arm. That way, at least the sur­face would curve away from the users' bodies.

3. The Suction Nozzle

But mov­ing the con­trol pan­el wouldn't have made the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples less painful. The suc­tion noz­zle that seals around the cli­toral glans is a rigid tube. In ventro-​ventro sex posi­tions, the nozzle's hard ring ham­mers against my skin and bone. The tip might have been more com­fort­able if the rim was wider and cushier.

My boyfriend and I didn't try doggy-​style with this vibra­tor insert­ed; I'm not com­mit­ted to see­ing how dis­mal a sex toy could get. However, I don't think try­ing dif­fer­ent posi­tions would have helped when every thrust inward pushed to bur­row the suc­tion tip in farther.

4. The Shape of the Internal Arm

Likewise, the "out" stroke of each thrust pulled the vibra­tor out a lit­tle. When I was on top, it would be espe­cial­ly prone to pop­ping out-of-place.

Unlike say, the We-​Vibe Sync, the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples doesn't have any bulging or tex­ture in the inter­nal arm. Such fea­tures would help to lock it in place past the pubic bone. It's total­ly smooth and comes to a point. Yeah, it might be easy to fit a penis in because it's so slim, but what good is that when the tip moves around and pokes my vagi­nal walls?

The Few Good Things About the Satisfyer Pro Are All "Yeah, But..."S

Yeah, the cli­toral suc­tion noz­zle aligns with my cli­toris, but that's because the dis­tance between my cli­toris and vagi­na is fair­ly aver­age at 1 inch. Unless you've mea­sured and know your clit-​vag gap is the same, you can't know whether the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples will align correctly.

You have way bet­ter options, like the We-​Vibe Melt, Dame Aer, and Satisfyer Curvy 3+. They're, non-​intrusive, and if you're hold­ing and direct­ing the toy exter­nal­ly with­out the inter­nal por­tion, it doesn't mat­ter how big your C‑V gap is.

See my mega-​guide to best cli­toral air pulse toys for more details. Among oth­er fac­tors, it'll help you decide which one is the best for pair­ing with intercourse.

Most of all, you can point the han­dle away from your vagi­na. With the Starlet, it'd at least be achiev­able for my boyfriend and me to posi­tion with­out discomfort.

The More Things a Sex Toy Tries to Do at Once, the More Likely It Is to Fail

In order for a rabbit-​style vibra­tor to be suc­cess­ful, the user would have to enjoy:

1. the inter­nal arm — shape and size
2. the exter­nal arm — vibra­tion strength, flex­i­bil­i­ty, tip shape
3. the rela­tion­ship between the two arms — dis­tance and angle

It's like find­ing a bra that fits: there are so many vari­ables. And adding the part­ner pen­e­tra­tion aspect just makes it so much more complicated.

I don't usu­al­ly write reviews about dual stim­u­la­tors, but I made an excep­tion for the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples because I seri­ous­ly won­der whether humans actu­al­ly test­ed it. If you're some­one like me, who prefers deep, hard pen­e­tra­tion, you will absolute­ly despise this sex toy.

Someone who might enjoy the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples would fit the following description:

• has a clit-​vag gap of 1 inch
• enjoys high-​pitched inter­nal vibra­tions or none at all
• likes slow sex (so that the toy doesn't get knocked out-of-place)

For just about any­one else, I'd rec­om­mend get­ting a Womanizer Starlet instead. It'll be more like­ly to work for you and you'll be much more com­fort­able. I don't even want to give any­one my extra Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples because I don't want to sub­ject peo­ple to it.

Disclaimer

I received this item from Satisfyer in exchange for my hon­est review. This toy sucked. In a bad way. And I'm not get­ting paid to say good things about this toy— I'm hon­est­ly try­ing to look out for my readers.