If you have time to scroll on your phone, you have time to get to know your kinky self.

That’s part of the premise of BeMoreKinky, the phone app designed for BDSM cou­ples to start (or con­tin­ue) the con­ver­sa­tion about what gets them hot and heavy in the bedroom.

It’s crammed full of kinks, from bite-​sized sce­nar­ios — in a quick­ie left/​right swipe for­mat — to long quizzes to dis­cuss with your part­ner and get geeky with it.

(And yet, the app file size is delight­ful­ly small!)

How does the BeMoreKinky BDSM app work?

Perhaps most notably, BeMoreKinky gam­i­fies, orga­nizes, and decreas­es the fric­tion of get­ting start­ed talk­ing about your kinks.

If you don't even know where to begin, the new alpha ver­sion has a “sur­prise us" option.

Maybe one part­ner feels shy, or intim­i­dat­ed, or just knows that they like sub­mit­ting or dom­i­nat­ing but can’t elab­o­rate on why. Maybe they feel over­whelmed choos­ing a book to learn about BDSM through, and want to nar­row down the top­ic a little.

BeMoreKinky works like a “yes/​no/​maybe” spread­sheet, on steroids:

• A left/​right swip­ing set­up where you pick which fan­tasies and phras­es you’d like to try
• Rate them on a scale of 1–5 for how much they turn you on and rank your favorites
• See their respons­es to quizzes — which cov­er not just what you do, but how you do it
• Plan a play date — which you can do in-​app, includ­ing choos­ing from a selec­tion of activ­i­ties and fan­tasies you both swiped right on. There are also part­ner games built into the app, like a pun­ish­ment wheel and Truth or Dare
• Journal about the expe­ri­ence and com­pare notes as they update

While the app can be used solo, I think 75% of the fun is see­ing how well you actu­al­ly know what your part­ner would say — and maybe using the specifics the next time you see each other.

Note: I’m using the pre­mi­um ver­sion of the BeMoreKinky app here, which has more fea­tures and con­tent avail­able. I’ve also includ­ed some screen­shots of a ver­sion that's in the alpha stage as of August 2026.

The philosophy behind the BeMoreKinky app

BeMoreKinky’s claim to fame is mak­ing the basics quick, and easy to share with a partner.

There’s a lot here that sets users up to go from “vanil­la with some sprin­kles” to “I can say more about the vibe I’m going for.”

While the app is loaded with arti­cles and fea­tures, the over­ar­ch­ing inten­tions can be summed up as fol­lows. I’ll also rec­om­mend fur­ther read­ing — blog posts I’ve writ­ten about and books I love!

Get to know how you and your partner communicate

Consent is manda­to­ry, and inti­ma­cy is sexy.

There are dif­fer­ent quizzes with­in the BeMoreKinky quizzes meant for:

• Building inti­ma­cy, like attach­ment style and sex­u­al response
• Some “mini” quizzes for nego­ti­a­tion style, scene-​planning, and dis­cus­sions around safety
• Knowing your and your partner’s after­care needs

…and more

These lay the ground­work for build­ing trust to exchange pow­er, try some­thing risky (and under­stand risk pro­files), or explore taboo feel­ings with a partner.

Recommended reading

• Tongue-​Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris 
  • Read my review of Tongue-Tied
• Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily Nagoski 
  • Read my review of Come Together

Uncover your role and persona

Often, pow­er exchange is about the feel­ings you’re try­ing to reach and evoke.

Are you a care­giv­er, gen­tly guid­ing them with struc­ture and praise when they feel over­whelmed? Do they get off on being treat­ed as an ATM and see­ing the num­bers go up, affirm­ing their devo­tion at your altar? Are you tor­tur­ing your part­ner with des­per­a­tion to cum?

Many activ­i­ties in the BeMoreKinky app explore not just the actions, but the ener­getic and emo­tion­al exchange behind cer­tain word choic­es and honorifics.

Further reading

I also high­ly rec­om­mend Anton Fulmen’s Dominance Playbook: Ways to Play With Power for its dis­cus­sion on character-​based kink.

Personally? I can appre­ci­ate some soft dom­i­nant teas­ing — and I’ve writ­ten two guides about it:

• 7 Skills for Soft Dominant Dirty Talk
• 7 Hypnotic Dirty Talk Techniques for Dominance & Submission

Reflect on what turns you on and why

There are many dif­fer­ent rea­sons some­one might enjoy broad­er cat­e­gories of kink, like dom­i­na­tion and sub­mis­sion. But also, some of the BeMoreKinky quizzes get so odd­ly, incred­i­bly spe­cif­ic about com­mon turn-​ons like:

• Breeding and cum fetishes
• Receiving praise
• Consensual non-​consent

The app also invites users to com­plete a jour­nal entry after every activ­i­ty to share their gen­er­al thoughts and feel­ings about each quiz. It sounds small, but it’s use­ful for know­ing how a part­ner thinks, in their own words, out­side the con­text of multiple-​choice bubbles.

Further reading

• Book rec­om­men­da­tion: 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do by Kate Sloan
• Blog post: Are Creampies a Kink? Why Are People Into Them?
• Blog post: Realistic Fake Cum Recipe — Semen "Shots" Taste-​Test & Party Mixology

Understand reinforcement and punishment

Discipline is the D in BDSM. When you know why some­one loves some­thing kinky, you can play more into what they like about it as a reward.

Or you can plan ways to deter them from unde­sired behav­iors through punishment.

Personally, I don’t care for pun­ish­ment — but if that’s your thing, BeMoreKinky includes:

• A habit-​setting fea­ture with rewards for a job well done (and pun­ish­ments for disobedience)
• A spinnable pun­ish­ment wheel to keep your part­ner guessing
• Resources like an arti­cle about dis­ci­pline in gen­tle D/​s relationships

Further reading

If you're like me, and your thing is more along the lines of:

• Trance and hypnosis
• Powerplay through brainwashing
• Behavior mod­i­fi­ca­tion

…you must read The Brainwashing Book: Hypnotic, Erotic Behaviorism and Beyond by sleepin­girl.

Thank me later.

Build habits that deepen connection (or servitude)

There’s quite the over­lap between BDSM fans and ADHDers man­ag­ing exec­u­tive func­tion through kink — and that’s part of why I could see the app’s habits sec­tion being useful:

• Attaching rewards for being a good babe
• Punishments for not meet­ing your standards
• Streaks and com­ple­tion rates to boost morale

Habits for the sub­mis­sive par­ty might include things like:

• Save up your cum — edge every day but don’t nut for a whole week
• Wear a cock cage or plug in pub­lic once a week, and tell me all about it
• Submit a date night or play propo­si­tion twice a week

…and so on. These are just exam­ples; what you do with your dynam­ic is up to you.

I’m not into rigid habit streaks, but I can see how they’d take the fric­tion out of some ser­vice logis­tics and every­day rit­u­als until they become automatic.

My verdict on the BeMoreKinky app

I think it’s rad to have such an easy-​breezy way to learn about, share, and dis­cuss kinks with a part­ner. It’s best enjoyed as a bite-​sized sam­pler plate that gives users a start­ing point — find what piques your curios­i­ty and use that to direct your Reddit brows­ing and book selection.

What I like

• Asynchronously update kinks and quiz results in the portal
• Starts the con­ver­sa­tion and gives easy-​to-​handle struc­ture when the whole kink world might be overwhelming
• Gives a base­line of where kinks over­lap, includ­ing learn­ing some­thing new about my friend I’ve known since undergrad
• The “in the mood” sta­tus indicator
• Option to add mul­ti­ple part­ners, albeit in beta — there’s a lot of over­lap among kinksters and non­monogamists, so I think mul­ti­ple part­ners on a BDSM app like BeMoreKinky is a must.
• Chat fea­ture with end-​to-​end encryption
• Tiny app size when my phone runs out of space so often (’tis the life of a con­tent creator)

It does its job: get­ting the gang gab­bing. The con­ver­sa­tion doesn’t have to be per­fect. If you’re kinky, it just has to start some­where, often with build­ing trust, inti­ma­cy, and clear com­mu­ni­ca­tion to han­dle big­ger, bold­er, or sim­ply more inti­mate scenes.

What I don’t like

• Some of the quizzes are repet­i­tive or for­mu­la­ic, lead­ing me to think, “I know what this is ask­ing for, but this doesn’t apply to me” at times. I wish there were a “not applic­a­ble” or “none of the above” option or a slid­er for how strong­ly or indif­fer­ent­ly we feel about an answer.
• Occasional bug­gy incon­sis­ten­cies in nav­i­ga­tion, par­tic­u­lar­ly with view­ing part­ner quiz results
• I’m wary of the AI-​integrated scene plan­ning fea­ture, and I don’t think pow­er exchange is the place to be out­sourc­ing my brainpower.
• I don’t like that the app doesn’t save your respons­es unless you com­plete the entire cat­e­go­ry — for exam­ple, you must rate all of the activ­i­ties under “Soft Femdom” before clos­ing out of the app, or else your progress is lost.

Closing thoughts

Overall, I think if a book is what gets you going, that’s cool. If an app does that for you, and you love how it makes it eas­i­er to share details and date plans with your part­ners, that’s cool too — even though I think it should be tak­en with a grain of salt.

Consider the BeMoreKinky app a tool of breadth and books for more depth.

The app works well as an entry-​level explo­ration of kink. It doesn't give you a map or describe the ter­rain; it gives you tools to man­age the next step and decide what you want to explore next.

This post was spon­sored. Opinions expressed are my own. Want more? Read more of my thoughts on kink.

Book recommendation recap

Here are some BDSM begin­ner books I’d recommend.

Note that these are based on my per­son­al tastes, and not everyone’s going to be into what I’m into — though I might write a longer post in the future about why I like these par­tic­u­lar resources.

• 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do by Kate Sloan
• The Dominance Playbook: Ways to Play With Power by Anton Fulmen
• Tongue-​Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris
• The Brainwashing Book: Hypnotic, Erotic Behaviorism and Beyond by sleepin­girl.
• Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily Nagoski