Je Joue Uma Review: Rumbly Mid-Sized Vibrator

On paper, the Je Joue Uma looked like every­thing I was look­ing for.

The Je Joue Uma has many hall­marks of a ver­sa­tile toy. It has a bulging, gen­tle curve that can hit inter­nal eroge­nous zones but won't snag on my pubic bone. At 1 3/​8", it's fill­ing but com­fort­able for every­day use. It has range and rum­ble: 6 speeds and 6 pat­terns, includ­ing that elu­sive low-​frequency purr.

In prac­tice, it ini­tial­ly con­fused me into ques­tion­ing what I like. My over­all sen­ti­ment about this toy is "It takes get­ting used to."

It's impres­sive inter­nal­ly, thanks to the deep, rum­bling vibra­tions, but the shape isn't ide­al for my G‑spot. I wouldn't rec­om­mend it as a first sex toy at all– more like a third or fourth after you've already played with oth­er G‑spot toys and vibra­tors, and know what your G‑spot and clit like.

The Je Joue Uma's external vibration sensation

My own experience

The Je Joue Uma's vibra­tions are very rumbly. Like the We-​Vibe Tango, it has some "jump" when set against a hard sur­face; it sounds less like buzzing and more like very fast tap­ping. Unlike the Tango's smooth vibra­tions, though, the Uma has more of a throb­bing qual­i­ty to it.

The vibra­tions frus­trat­ed and con­fused me at first. Uma is rumbly and low, but for cli­toral use the first few times, it took me longer to orgasm and less intense­ly so than with com­par­a­tive­ly surface-​level vibes. I nev­er­the­less kept using it. Over time, the time dis­crep­an­cy dimin­ished and my body became accli­mat­ed to the Je Joue Uma's vibrations.

The orgasms got bet­ter and didn't take as long any­more, but are still enjoy­ably dif­fer­ent. And best of all, my orgasms with the Uma last way longer.

Another reviewer's experience

It was befud­dling to me, a sup­posed cli­toral light­weight, that a rum­bli­er vibe would take me longer to orgasm. That is until I read Emmeline Peaches' reviews of Je Joue's Uma and Mimi. In her review of the Je Joue Uma, Emmeline wrote:

They have the same flit­ter­ing, pul­sat­ing rhythm to them which I’ve nev­er felt out­side of the Je Joue line. These vibra­tions seem to com­bine deep, rolling pul­sa­tions (which have a rumbly feel to them) with gen­tler, rapid-​fire quiv­ers (which have a bit more buzz to them),

And in her Je Joue Mimi review, she elaborated:

Because these vibra­tions are so dif­fer­ent to what I’m used to it can take longer to orgasm with the Mimi Soft but I def­i­nite­ly enjoy the jour­ney. It’s like my clit is get­ting pam­pered and teased by the quiv­er­ing cho­rus of the Mimi Soft’s vibrations.

These words pret­ty much echo what I thought at first. So there you have it: Je Joue has a sig­na­ture of vibra­tion that might not res­onate with every­one. It might poor­ly res­onate with your clit, or your clit might like the unique­ness. I was some­where in between, where I came to love it over time.

Je Joue Uma's internal vibration sensation

Despite my feel­ings about the Uma's exter­nal sen­sa­tion, the throb­bing pulse­like qual­i­ty is what makes this toy shine for inter­nal use. The low pitch and high rum­ble are, of course, remark­able on the low­er steady set­tings. When com­bined with the pat­terns, it fur­ther exag­ger­ates the throb­bing sen­sa­tion. The down­side: I stay away from the faster set­tings because they do get buzzy and pinchy.'

The shape is gen­er­al­ly para­mount to me in an insertable vibra­tor and vibra­tions sec­ondary. This pri­or­i­ti­za­ton doesn't apply to the Je Joue Uma. In the time it took to hold down the "on"/+ but­ton, I went from "Fuck, I just wast­ed $80 when I could've bought a nice dil­do" to "HOLY SHIT." Vibrations, some­thing I used to think were pleas­ant but not nec­es­sary, actu­al­ly make this toy and they're worth every pen­ny here.

Where the shape makes it hard­er to aim at my G‑spot, the vibra­tions' ampli­tude makes up for the lack of precision.

Uma's shape and design

To find my G‑spot with the Uma with­out vibra­tions, I have to pull and let the head drag against my front wall on the way out. It's more of a sta­tion­ary inch­ing toy than a thrust­ing one. It was coun­ter­in­tu­itive to me, took more effort, and demand­ed that I undo what I thought I knew about using G‑spot toys.

It's okay for my ante­ri­or fornix, but I'm used to G‑spot toys with more volup­tuous­ly round­ed and bul­bous heads that lock into place behind my pubic bone. Such shapes imme­di­ate­ly press into the right spot. On the oth­er end of the spec­trum, gen­tly curved G‑spot toys with­out sig­nif­i­cant girth changes are also easy to thrust.

The Uma's bulging head is an awk­ward in-​between where its petite girth takes more effort to aim. After the bulge's max cir­cum­fer­ence, the neck slopes and tapers to a very nar­row 3/​4 of an inch. As such, my vagi­na tends to "suck" in the toy so that the shal­low­est, tight­est sec­tion of my vagi­na can wrap around the nar­row­est part of the neck. The girthi­est part then rests way deep­er in my vagi­na than where my G‑spot is.

For com­par­i­son, with the We-​Vibe Rave, the rel­a­tive­ly uni­form girth lends itself bet­ter to thrust­ing, while the com­par­a­tive­ly squared head puts more pres­sure clos­er to my pubic bone. If I try to tilt the Uma back and thrust, the force gets aimed too far past my pubic bone to do any­thing pleasurable.

Recommendations

I see peo­ple rec­om­mend­ing this toy as a ver­sa­tile vibe and being ide­al for begin­ners, and I can't say I agree. The Je Joue Uma is def­i­nite­ly for some­one who is already BFFs with their G‑spot, has tried out oth­er vibes, and wants some­thing new and unique to invest in.

Previously, it was usu­al­ly the shape that made me fall in love with oth­er toys. I didn't see sense in pay­ing extra for a lux­u­ry motor until try­ing the Je Joue Uma. The vibra­tions make the pen­e­tra­tion sen­sa­tion that much rich­er; Je Joue's unique, flut­tery vibra­tions suc­cess­ful­ly con­vert­ed me.

The Uma hasn't over­tak­en the We-​Vibe Rave's strong edges and angles, but it's damn close.